7 Wonders of Bolehland

0 comments Published by Mel on Friday, December 21, 2007 at 9:34 AM

Bodohland: Organisers have recently announced that they have elected the seven < http://www.new7wonders.com/ new wonders of the world. The finalists include Great Wall of China and Taj Mahal. Not to be outdone here in Bolehland or Can-land (some call this Bodohland or Stupid-land), our Prime Minister follows up with an announcement of our very own 7 wonders. All qualified citizens can submit their choices of wonders and finalists will be determined by popular votes.


1. THE ZAKARIA 'PALACE'

The only building built with no approval and unpaid assessment fees that is not demolished and sealed. The owner is the first bankrupt to be able to own a palace.

2. THE ISA - INSANE SECURITY ACCUSATIONS


Supposedly used to "detain" terrorist for up to two years with absolutely no proof, this fantastic Wonder will give you the power to "detain" ABSOLUTELY anyone the guy in power dislikes: anyone who threatens his political power or is a rape accuser of some MP's son can be "held" for up to 2 years. You don't have to even show any evidence of the accusation. Just hack up some insane charge of terrorism of a 15 year old rape accuser, and "detain" her until she is 17. Or throw the Opposition leaders in when they get too powerful and accuse them of having some ties with the Arab terrorist, even if they are Chinese or Indian. It's ingenius!


3. 'UNHAUNTED' KUCHING PRISON


"No picture available"


The only $600M prison in this world that is free of haunted stories and encounters. Reasons? No execution was done here before. In fact no prisoners were held in here. There are also no concrete walls with barbed wires to contain souls - both dead and alive. Maybe it can qualify as the first imaginary prison built with real money.

4. PAYA INDAH 'WASTED' WETLANDS

The nation's premier eco tourism park. Holds the record in the category of attracting more lawyers with litigation than tourists with binoculars.

5. 'NOT SO' SMART TUNNEL
Uniquely design to alleviate floods. When completed, it does everything except alleviate floods.

6. 'DISCONNECTED' CYBERJAYA

The one and only high tech city in the world that offers limited or no internet connection to its residents.


7. THE 'CROOKED' BRIDGE

The most crooked bridge in the world dreamt by one of the most crooked people in the world. The bridge connects Bolehland to its neighbouring country. Construction started even though the neighbouring country did not give approval for the crooked bridge to be built to their land. Too bad the project was abandoned; otherwise it will make it as one of the wonders of the world.

Posted by Mel  

Saying goodbye...

1 comments Published by Mel on Friday, December 07, 2007 at 11:51 AM

Last Sunday, we buried my Ah Kong (pronounced as "gone-ng" not "goong"). He is my grandfather.
I never spoke to my Ah Kong. That's because he only spoke Hokkien, which I completely suck at. Instead, he made funny faces at me and used sign language to convey his meaning. His favourite question to me when I was young was "Chiak Liao Bo?" which translates to "Have you eaten?".
Ah Kong was a very nice man. A very easy man to love, in fact. He had no grudges, and never caused any trouble for anyone. He said "ho" (yes) to everything, had absolutely no demands and was pretty much accepting of anything that came his way. My grandmother would pretty much nag him all day long, but it had absolutely no effect on him. It goes into one ear, and literally comes out the other. He doesn't remember any scolding, any nagging or anything unpleasant. In fact, he was such an easy-going, nice fella that many people called him stupid. Of course, calling him stupid didn't upset him in any way. He would just say "ho" and go about his merry way.
His greatest pleasure in life was eating. He loved fried chicken, praticularly from KFC. Even when he had lost all his teeth, he would use his gums to chew the chicken. Eventually, due to all the unhealthy food, he suffered a stroke in the year 2000, which paralysed his left side.
I couldn't recognise the thin man as my granddad. In my mind, he was still chubby with a head full of hair. I never noticed that his hair was thinning and that he was losing a lot of weight. In the year 2002, he suffered another stroke that paralysed much of his right side. He could no longer eat any solid food, for he could not chew. When he spoke, no one could understand what he was saying except my grandmother.
He met my spouse in 2006. Since my spouse can speak Hokkien, they had a conversation about the lorry his used to drive when he was younger. The number plate of the lorry was 5105. I remember this well, because he struggled for over 10 minutes to tell my spouse the number plate, and no one could understand him. Finally, it became apparent that he was struggling to say "goh-ih-kong-goh" (5-1-0-5), which was not easy because he couldn't move his mouth muscles. He was trying to relate the stories from the time my grandmother and him were running a grocery shop in Penang, where he would carry huge rice sacks onto his lorry and deliver them to his customers. My grandmother ended up telling most of the stories and we had a good laugh.
He sat up to receive the customary tea during my wedding early this year. That was the last time he would sit up again. After that, Ah Kong deteriorated and became thinner. He could no longer get up. During his last week in this world, he could not even speak. He finally passed away on Friday 30 November 2007.
I got the SMS from Daddy in the afternoon, while taking care of my spouse in the hospital. Ah Kong, my Ah Kong, passed away.
I have not cried in a funeral quite like that before. I cried over everything. From the time I saw him in the coffin until the time we laid him into the ground. Normally I would just shed a few tears. This time, I could not stop crying. Ah Kong, gentle Ah Kong, was gone. In death, he still looked like he was about to say "ho". A nice guy to the end. The easiest person in the world to love. God will have mercy on him, for he deserves none other. Goodbye my Ah Kong. I will see you again someday.

Posted by Mel  

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