Turtle Channel!!!

She was lonely again. As always, he left for work without so much as a glance at her. It never used to be this way. He had always looked at her so lovingly. But now, he does not even notice her anymore. She felt so invisible. She asked herself this morning as she had asked so many times before, 'Why do I continue to stay in this house?'. Yet she always remained where she was, never moving out and never even able to tell him how she felt.

They had met in Paris, on a bright summer day four years ago. It was love at first sight...for him anyway. She actually didn't think much of him when they first met. He had walked into the art gallery and although there were many others who were equally as beautiful as her, he noticed her right away. She could still remember how his eyes had swept all over the room before settling down on her. Once he had noticed her, he never took his eyes off her. He had walked purposefully over to her and within the hour, brought her back to his hotel. She had many suitors before, but no one had enough to offer to capture her. Oh, he had all the right qualities, he was extremely wealthy, intelligent, handsome and suave.

Back at his hotel, he had spent the rest of the day just looking at her and telling her how magnificent and beautiful she was. He had been so gentle and careful when he touched her, but most of the time, he was contented just looking at her. He did not even consent to leave her side throughout the rest of the day. He was so in love with her. And so she had left Paris for New York with him the very next day.

Back in New York, he had introduced her to all his friends and co-workers. She met his entire family within the first month. His mother thought she was lovely, although her experience with his father was not quite so pleasant. It appeared that his father did not approve of her, and felt that she was far too extravagant for his son. It bothered her a little at first, but since he took little interest in anything his father said, she felt more reassured.

He was a popular and influential man. He held many cocktail parties in his apartment, and she had met the Senator, the Secretary of State and even the Vice-President over a glass of champagne. All of them marvelled at her beauty and praised her lavishly. She always felt beautiful, always at the center of attraction whenever he held one of his parties. In fact, she looked forward to them.

But a year ago, all that changed. She had been shunned to the guest room. He no longer looked at her with love and appreciation. He no longer even noticed her. He had never once entered her room, much less spent any time with her at all. The only person she saw on a regular basis is the maid. Recently, he only returned to their apartment once or twice a week. She suspected that he may have another mistress some place else and is spending more time there.

There were fewer cocktail parties now. The last function they had was 2 months ago, when he threw a birthday party for his seventeen year-old sister. She was not even invited to attend the party. She was only able to enjoy the it from listening to the music, laughter, buzz of conversation and sounds of glasses clinking while she waited quietly in her room. He did not even come in to see her after the party had ended.

It was now evening. She wondered if he would be coming home. She wanted to know him if he still loved her or if there was someone else, but the words just refused to come out. She heard the front door open. She waited, excitedly, for him to come into her room. She heard his familiar footsteps. So often she had listened out for him, only to hear his footsteps lead away from her towards the Master bedroom across the hall. But today, he seemed to be walking closer and closer to her door. She could hear another set of footsteps, it sounded an awful lot like high-heel stilettoes. Good God, was he going to throw her out in favour of another woman?

The door opened. A burst of light entered her unlit room. He fumbled at the light switch, eventually finding it and flicking it on. The room was suddenly flooded with light, blinding her. "You may stay here for the night," she heard him say. "There is an attached bathroom you can use to clean up."

"Thanks bro," she heard his sister say, as she slowly adjusted to the light. She watched as his sister placed a bright pink luggage on the floor next to the bed. His sister turned to look at her. Then she heard his sister say, "Wow it has been a long time since I last saw this painting. I had wondered what you did with it." He turned and looked at her for the first time in one entire year and said, "Well, I bought a new painting, so I relocated this one to the guest room. Anyway, get some sleep. I'll call to tell Mom you're spending the night here. You should probably try to sort out your differences with her tomorrow."

His sister made a face at him and said ,"Whatever." He left the room. His sister washed up, took a shower and went to bed. And she was left hanging on the wall above the bed, wishing she could say goodnight.

This was written a few months ago when I had made the decision to walk away from HIM. However, after much soul-searching, I have finally accepted his love, and now everything's working out just wonderfully :D

But reading this again today, I realised how much I actually love this man. I have never written poetry that didn't rhyme before. This is the very first time i just sat there and let my thoughts flow without rhyme or reason. Walking away from him was certainly much harder than I ever anticipated. I ended up walking one huge circle, right back to him.

* * * *

How do I go on
*************
How do I go on without your smile
How do I go on without your kiss
How do I live with this pain in my soul
To remember you and all that you are
I close my eyes and there you are
Your smell, your touch, the softness of your skin
Your gentle lips, your taste, your warmth
Your body against mine, your arms around me
The tenderness in your eyes
The strength in your arms when you hold me close
The way you kiss
The way you laugh just before you bury your head
In the hollow of my neck
How do I go on without you?
How do I go on without your love?
How do I go on without you?

If you haven't read the previous parts, please read
http://melooi.blogspot.com/2006/08/princess-and-turtle.html
and
http://melooi.blogspot.com/2006/09/news-update-frog-prince-and-princess.html
before proceeding with this entry.

* * * *
The Frog Prince has had enough! With so many servants, the princess still wanted him to hunt down turtles. She claims that he was better at turtle-hunting and bbq-ing than anyone else. He certainly did not agree with such audacious claims, but there was nothing he could do, for she could scream, shriek and nag like nothing he had ever experienced before.

He could not escape the castle, so he hatched a new plan. Everyday, he went down to the pond where the turtles hid and told them about the beautiful and noble princess. He told all the turtles that the princess was kind, gentle and loving and that it was indeed an honour to be given the opportunity to die for the princess.

The naive turtles began to believe him, and every fortnight when the bonfire was lit, a turtle would gladly sacrifice his life for the princess. After 6 months, the turtles learnt to crawl to the fire themselves and to throw themselves in. Hence, every fortnight, one turtle would jump into the fire for the princess. It would truly believe that it was doing a noble deed for the kind princess.

When the princess found out the deeds of the turtles, she was delighted. She found it extraordinarily amusing that the turtle would so happily die for her pleasure. She dismissed the Frog Prince and told him he was now redundant.

The Frog Prince could not pack his things fast enough. Within the same hour of his dismissal, he left the castle in a great hurry before the princess could change her mind!

(Please stay tuned for more updates on the Frog Prince)

The mice were scared and angry. The cats had struck again last week, this time, killing 20 of their clan in 10 minutes. The memory of the blood and gore made it impossible to sleep without waking up every few minutes. This massacre, although not new, was certainly the worse one they had in recent years.

A strong and young mouse called Strand stood up with the rest of his kind and said: "Mice of all sizes and ages, we must unite! We must fight for a better future. We cannot go on like this, being food to the cats. Although our ancestors have lived this way for centuries and although our elders tell us this is the law of nature, I REJECT THIS NOTION! We must progress. If the cats are causing us to live in fear, THEN WE MUST KILL THE CAT!"

All the young mice starting chanting "KILL THE CAT! KILL THE CAT!"

And in the decade that followed, the mice started planning and scheming the many ways to kill cats. 2 years after Strand first suggested killing cats, they learnt to start fires. 2 years after that, they learnt to walk quietly to the cats and light their tails on fire. 2 years after that the mice learnt that gasoline will spread the fire even faster. And 4 years after that all the cats were dead.

The mice rejoiced! Their oppressors were finally gone! And without their natural predators, their population grew and grew and grew. The virile males were mating at fervent speed and in the next year, the population of mice tripled!

Meanwhile, the dogs were getting hungry. With their food source gone, they had suffered a great deal. When there appeared to be more mice, the dogs realised that they need not starve anymore. Here was a new source of food for them! In the same year, they learnt to appreciate the taste of mice and began to gobble them up.

Dogs eat more than cats. MUCH more. And so the number of mice started to dwindle after 2 years of being hunted by dogs. By this time, the mice had suffered so much that they could not hold back their sorrow. It was even worse than in the time of cats, for at least the cats did not hunt in huge packs like the dogs. Massacres of hundreds of mice became a norm, and poor Strand died in heart break.

But another young mouse named Brunt stood up on his hind legs are shouted, "Mice of all age and sizes, we must unite! As we had once rind the cats, NOW WE MUST RID THE DOGS!" All the young mice followed, and stood on their hind legs and shouted, "RID THE DOGS! RID THE DOGS!"

They first tried setting the dogs tails on fire, but they quickly found that it was impossible to do so. Dogs travelled in packs, and it was not possible to quietly light their tails on fire without the rest of the pack killing the attack group. So for the first 2 years, the mice learnt to make nets. The next 2 years, they learnt how to make STRONG nets. And the following 2 years they learnt how to make BIG nets.

Finally they were ready to war with the dogs. They began trapping the dogs using the nets and then setting the whole pack on fire using gasoline. After 4 years, there were no more dogs left.

Once again the mice rejoiced! They were rid of their oppressors! They can now like free and do anything they want! That year, the males were so elated that they mated more fervently than ever before. The population of mice increased tenfold.

However, the lions who were feeding on the dogs began to starve. With the dogs slowly disappearing into extinction, they had nothing much to eat and had suffered tremendously that year. They just could not live on grass and grain. When the massive crowd of mice began to run about the fields to play, the hungry lions could not help themselves but devour all the mice they saw.

Lions eat more than dogs. MUCH more. And so once again, the population of mice decreased rapidly. Massacres of thousands at a time became a normal occurence. The living conditions for the mice were worse than when they were hunted by dogs. Poor Brunt lived to see all that was happening and died in misery and regret.

But no fear, Trevor is here! Trevor, a muscular and bright young mouse gathered what was left of the mice and told them, "This is a horrible way to live. If we are to die to lions, let us die with pride! Let us bring them down as we die! LET US SLAY THE LIONS!"

And so the new war cry of the mice became "SLAY THE LIONS! SLAY THE LIONS". Trevor divided the group of mice to 2 - the research team and the kamekaze squad. The kamekaze squad were trained to creep quietly up to the lions, while the research team began to study microorganisms. And 2 years quickly passed this way.

The next 2 years, the research team learn to cultivate poisonous bacteria while the kamekaze squad studied religion and psychology to prep themselves for their task ahead. The research team then injected the bacteria to the mice in the kamekaze squad, who then crept up to the lions to be devoured.

The lions who devoured the infected bacteria began to die. It was a slow death, but an effective one. In the next 10 years, the number of lions reduced by tenfold and after the following decade there were no more lions left.

The mice, who had been suffering for over 20 years at the paws of the lions finally saw the last lion die. Their numbers had been reduced to only 200 mice at the end of their ordeal. But without the lions hunting them down, they could finally live in peace again.

The happy mice mated and mated and mated, ate and ate and ate and once again thousands of mice walked the land. They were free to do whatever they wanted!!! How great it was! When Trevor finally died, he died a very happy mouse, knowing that he had done his fellow mice a great favour.

However, one day after 50 years of freedom, the young mice started to report of new massacres. Humans, who had lived for 50 years without eating meat were now hungry for the taste of animal meat. They had learnt to enjoy eating barbequed mice and now, mice hunting was a sport.

Humans ate more than lions. MUCH more. Especially the young growing males. Massacres of TENS of THOUSANDS of mice became a normal occurence. A young mouse named Henry shouted for unity among the mice. He organized a meeting and told the mice, "Mice of all age and sizes, we need to unite! We are once again under oppresion. We must stand united and SLAUGHTER THE HUMANS!"

All the other young mice began shouting, "SLAUGHTER THE HUMANS! SLAUGHTER THE HUMANS!" when suddenly they were all trapped! Humans had hunted them down to their meeting place and all of them, including Henry, became hamburgers that day.

And so after 10 years, there were no more mice left.






If only they had learnt to live with the cats.....

Finally graduated from my second degree!

I had a dream a few weeks ago. I dreamt i died.



I was walking amidst my love ones, and they could not see me. I was looking for Ye Chow, but I couldn't find him anywhere. I wanted to say goodbye.



I saw my cousin. And strangely enough, even though no one else could see me, he could. He was not afraid of me. Instead, he talked to me for a while in a rectangular garden. Finally, Ye Chow came and I managed to see him. I went to him and he could also see me. We were sad, and we said our goodbyes but my cousin stopped me from leaving. He said to me, "Since you and Ye Chow can still see each other and speak to each other, why don't you stay on Earth with him until it is time for him to go? That way you can always be together and you don't have to wait."



I then told my cousin:



"Time is an illusion that only exists in this Earth.



I turned to Ye Chow and said:



"I will wait for you. When it is your time, I will be there. You will know it is me when you see me."



Somehow, in my mind, I knew that I would not have the same form. Yet whatever form I would take, I knew that he would recognize me when we meet even thought we will look nothing like what we do now. Time is neither long nor short, fast nor slow. It is just a boundary that will no longer exist when we are no longer bounded to this earth.



After that, I said goodbye and faded into the light.



I woke up some time later.



It was indeed a very strange dream.

* * * *



I had another strange dream a couple of nights after that. I dream Ye Chow died.



I dreamt that I was now with another man, my ex, and we were getting married (in my case, I was re-marrying). His parents and brother questioned me, and was wondering if I was ready to move on. His brother's words went something like this: "What if you still love Ye Chow and can't let go?"



I said to them:



"There is nothing to let go. He may be gone, but he lives in me. Not in memory, not in my heart, but in me. I am who I am, because of who he was. The person you see before you today is a consequence of the person Ye Chow was. He speaks in my voice when I am speaking, and I see him in myself in everyday situations. You do not let go of love and memories in order to move on. If you try, you will always be running around with your shadow chasing you, never really letting go of the past and never really moving on. Instead, I accept it, and allow it to be absorbed into my life. And then I move on.



I will always love him, even though I am with someone else. I don't see the conflict. For whoever who loves me today, indirectly loves him. And whoever I can love, is indirectly the person Ye Chow would also be able to love. The idea of "Two" does not exist anymore. He has already left this world. Why do you subject him to the same rules and boundaries as those of us who are still living on this Earth? It no longer applies to him."

* * * *



For some strange reason, this thought stayed with me until I woke up. And for some strange reason, it was like logic to me, or it seemed like I was merely stating facts when I was speaking to others in my dreams. The "facts" of the two above dreams stayed in my mind for a long time after. I have not have dreams since then.

This post was taken and modified from my friend's blog. I found his reflection so profound and touching that I just had to re-port it. Enjoy.
*******************************

Last night I had a vision. I saw Mars in the sky with the constellations.

To an uninitiated caveman, the Mars is indeed very close to the rest of the stars in the clear night sky. So....high up. But the truth is (still is at the time of publishing) that the Earth is closer to that planet (Mars). We are so close to the it until we cannot recognize it and give it a different name.

High and low, far and near are all trickeries of restless mind. The more restless the mind, the more differentiation it sees from the world. Therefore I believe that the heaven is a very flat place. The heavenly ground is paved by unbreakable crystals with infinite smoothness. The roads in the heaven are all broad and straight. No pretense and all very accommodating. I want to go on to plant six kind of trees and flowers by the road side so that birds can sing on it, but I need to get back to work ...........




...........may be next time.

It had 2 years since that fateful kiss that transformed the frog prince into a man. It should have been a joyous occasion. Yet for the past two years, he had been nothing more than a manservant who had to hunt for turtles every morning and barbequed them every noon for the Princess’s lunch. Many a time he had wanted to run away, or even to look for the witch who had first turned him into a frog so that he could return to the life of a care-free frog. Yet he was still there, in that castle, with the turtle-loving Princess.

Yes, he was pretty much stuck there. There were guards and soldiers everywhere, all over the castle and its compound. There was no escape at all. He had no choice but to continue being the Frog Prince and Turtle Killer.

Perhaps he could try persuading the Princess to stop eating turtles…

(Stay tuned for more updates on the Frog Prince)

Ok, I have received this "spreading of HIV through needles left on cinema seats and gas pumps" on numerous occasions from well-meaning friends who forwarded emails such as this to me.

THIS IS A HOAX. Repeat: THIS IS A HOAX!

1. There really only one report of someone getting pricked by a needle. It was from the coin slot at the pay-phone. BUT the needle was used for INSULIN injections.

2. If you happen to be pricked by a needle that had been contaminated by HIV-positive blood, the chances of you contracting it is 0.3 - 0.45%. It isn't even 0.5%. UNLESS the needle was poked all the way into your major artery or vein, it will stay as below 0.5%. So the statistics that they gave you in the emails (8 of 17 ppl contracted the disease) is highly inaccurate.

3. Someone pricking you with a needle on your neck while you watch a movie is still highly unlikely to spread the disease to you. Unless of course, he is spreading Hepatitis (which is much easier to contract than HIV). I doubt you are stupid enough to sit there and let the person penetrate the needle into your vein. Most likely the moment it penetrates the first layer of your skin, you would yelp and beat the crap out of the person. REMEMBER - less than 0.5% chance!

So if you get pricked by a random needle, go see a doctor. If you are scared that you may get HIV, ask them to put you on zidovudine (AZT) or lamivudine (3TC), which will lower the chance of you getting HIV by 79% more.

LET's calculate!
The chance of you being stupid enough to continue poking the needle through the first layer of your skin (where your nerves are, so you will feel pain from the prick instantly) all the way into your major vein or artery is zero (I assume you are all smart ppl). So the chances of you getting HIV from a pin-prick (after which I assume you will go ask your doctor for AZT) is 21%(after AZT) out of 0.5% (pin-prick), which is 0.105%.

I also keep getting this email:
Someone wearing contacts in the sauna had his/her contact lense melt in the eyes and was blinded. Also someone cooking over the stove had his/her contact lens melt due to the steam. And went blind.

HOAX HOAX HOAX. The melting point of the plastic used to make your contact lenses isn't that low. If it can melt in your eyes, chances are the temperature is so high that your own skin would have already disintegrated and you would be on your way to heaven.

Still don't believe me? With intense heat, your eyes would naturally close and your hands would likely cover your face. In order for your contacts to melt, the temperature has to be high enough to meet the melting point of the lens. This temperature is enough to disintegrate the skin of your eyelids. So it is unlikely that the person was perfectly fine, but went blind because the contacts melted. His WHOLE FACE would be gone also. At that point, he might rather be blind than to have to look into the mirror.

So the chance of your contacts melting in your eyes = ZERO (assuming you have nerves that are functioning - if they aren't you have a bigger problem than melting contact lenses....)