Attempt 1: Passport Photo
Attempt 2: Studio shot at 18 Years Old
Attempt 3: Studio wedding shot
Attempt 4: Recent Photo
Discussions
Honestly, this software is flawed. I apparently have a 97% resemblence to Amisha and 90% to Madonna, who aren't even the same race as each other, or as me (totally different bone structure) in Attempt 2. Attempt 3 saw me "resembling" Martine McCutcheon (80%), Marcia Cross and Shakira (78% and 76%). WHAT??
The clincher is Attempt 4. My simple and normal picture with no makeup, exhausted (just landed in Europe after a 17 hour flight) and taken in a restaurant just before dinner. I ended up with a 75% resemblance to Lindsay Lohan, Beyonce Knowles and Mandy Moore. I wasn't even aware that Lindsay looked anything like Beyonce.
Conclusion
Not a good software. I have a feeling my post-graduate students can create something better. But then again, they are too busy creating something more sellable...
50 reasons on Why it's Great to be a Guy
2 comments Published by Mel on Thursday, May 17, 2007 at 9:02 AMI read this off the bulletin board in my friendster account recently, and decided to post it on my blog with my comments appended on each statement:
1. Phone conversations are over in 30seconds flat.
Why the heck do you bother with a phone call then? Morons, and liars. You never call. You simply type in a 3 word sms like "Free for dinner?" or "Will be late" without any proper invitation for a date, or a proper explanation on WHY you are going to be late, HOW LATE are you going to be etc. Worse of all are your stupid sms responses to our questions like "Ok" or "Yes" or "No" without giving any explanation on WHY yes, WHY no or what opinions you have in your completely uncomplex brain other than "OK". WHY DO WE EVEN DATE YOU NEANDERTHALS???? *ah, glad to have gotten than off my chest -.-" *
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
Believe me, we girls are happy movie nudity is virtually always females. You honestly think we wanna see a hairy butt on the telly? Unless of course, it's Brad Pitt.
3. You know stuff about tanks.
Oh yeah right. Just like you know stuff about airplanes and guns right? All crap. Just put smart female scientist there and she'll find out you actually know nothing about tanks and airplanes and guns. You only know how to BS. Big time.
4. A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You KNOW should only carry one suitcase. Otherwise you won't have enough hands to carry our 3 other suitcases.
5. Sunday Night Football.
Well. We. enjoy. football. too. Besides, not all of you watch sports, so this statement is WAYYYY TOOO alpha male :P
6. You don't have to monitor yourfriends' sex lives.
Yeah, right. As if you don't try to monitor your female friends' sex lives!
7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
Ok. I concede this one.
8. You can open all your own jars.
So can we. We just ask you to do it. You, being so proud of being able to open all your own jars, are after all, just an over-glorified jar-opener. I'm glad you're proud of your abilities. Jar-opener.
9. Old friends don't give a crapwhether you've lost or gained weight.
They just pretend not to care in front of you to be polite. Your nick-name is Fat-a$$. Or Stickman. And don't pretend you don't care about being teased on your weight. We females know that is not true. How many times have I had a chubby guy expressed his hurt to me because of his weight? You alpha males pretend not to care. Yeah right. We know better.
10. Dry cleaners and haircutters don'trob you blind.
You only ASSUME they don't rob you blind. Enuff said.
11. When clicking through the channels,you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.
Yeah, but you do have to stall at every shot of someone getting shot at. Or a bomb going off. Or a female stripping. Or at the sight of blood splattered all over the scene. Or at the commercial of the McLaren-Mercedez. Or at the sight of Angelina Jolie. Or at at any and every car chase scene.
12. Your butt is never a factor in jobinterviews.
Hey, we use that factor to our advantage! And you can't! Hahaha, nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!
13. All your orgasms are real.
No wonder you are always so exhausted.
14. A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex.
No, but you will get nagged at everyday of your life by your gf/wife/female friend until you will wish you are invisible to the opposite sex.
15. Guy in hockey masks don't attack you (unless you smash 'em into theboards).
Talking about sexual and physical assault is not funny.
16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
Lucky you. That's why you should stay single. Otherwise you will be carrying our bag of useful stuff for us.
17. You understand why Stripes is funny.
........
18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
Wow, you can do this without a support group, but if you are asked to wash the bathroom, you need a support group. This is so .... sad...
19. Your last name stays put.
That's only because we females have a better perscpetive on things. You keep your last name, we keep your monthly salary. It's a pretty good deal if you ask me. And the best thing is that you actually fall for it. Every. Single. Time.
20. You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
So what? I even leave my own bed unmade.
21. When your work is criticized, youdon't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
...Fine. You got me here.
22. You can kill your own food.
Oh yeah? And who was the scadery cat who joined me up on the table when we saw that cockroach?
23. The garage is all yours.
The joke's on you, mate. We don't HAVE a garage!
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
You also get a lot of nagging for your constant act of thoughtlessness.
25. You see the humour in Terms of Endearment.
You actually watched that movie? I am astounded!
26. Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.
No, but everyone secretly wonders whether you chew.
27. You never have to clean a toilet.
You can't help being incapable of being clean. Never mind, just hand over your wallet and we'll call a maid service to clean your disgusting toilet.
28. You can be showered and ready to goin 10 minutes. YUP!!!!
And we end up looking hotter than you. YUP!!
29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
Ok, you win on this count...
30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
We don't really mind if you're paying big bucks for it.
31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
True only for some guys. I have met guys who actually got very upset about this. Should we start labeling them as females from now on?
32. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
But they don't make you look sexy to us. Have you seen what OUR underwear can do to you?
33. The National College Cheerleading Championship.
...Paedophiles...
34. You don't have to shave below your neck.
Wait, you forget. Sometimes you don't even shave above the neck.
35. None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.
No, but they have the power to make you punch a hole in the wall and fracture your wrist. Personally I prefer the alternative.
36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.
Ah, so you know how un-sexy your hairy butt really is. So stop complaining if we refuse to have sex with your hair butt. Isn't it obvious?
37. If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.
If that is happening, don't be too pleased yet. It's probably because no one from the opposite gender notices you. You are invisible!
38. You can write your name in the snow.
As if that is what you really do. Admit it. We all know you piss your name in the snow.
39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
Yuck. I think I'll pass this one.
40. Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.
Really? So why are you ultra sensitive about your pimples?
41. Chocolate is just another snack.
Arrgghhh. I hate you.
42. You can be president. (In thislifetime.)
Ahahahaha!!! You??? Yeah right, you wish. You're no where closer than where I sit.
43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
Are you kidding me? Who is the bugger in the passenger seat who keep freaking out everytime I overtake another car?
44. Flowers fix everything.
Of course. Because it means you had just spent 50 bucks on something that will die the next day. Hahahaha, we women love to make you throw your money away.
45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
If this is true, it means you are probably not going to get much sex from your gf/wife unless you keep changing partners constantly. Or it means you are going to have to buy a lot of 44
46. You get to think about sex 90% ofyour waking hours.
Why do you want to do that? It's not like you're getting it 90% of your waking hours. If you are, you're going to die by the age of 38.
47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
So can we. You just won't allow us to
48. Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
...........
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
erm. Why do you want to do that?
50. You can say anything ("Wow, do my balls hurt!") and not worry about what people will think.
Well, that is true.
No one knew why he did it. Day after day, came rain or shine, there he stood at the corner of Alberta and Kilmaan Streets playing his guitar and singing softly. He placed no hat in front of him for monetary collection. In fact, any attempts to give him money was always promptly rejected. He once spent twenty minutes in a conversation with a very insistent 70-year-old woman on why he wouldn't take her ten dollar note. He had appeared one day many years ago, to the town. He was not homeless, nor was he poor. He was always immaculately dressed, with his black cotton pants, brown trenchcoat, shiny leather shoes and a tall hat. His clothes may be out of fashion, but they were always clean and impeccable. The locals became accustomed to his music and voice and any new resident quickly became acquainted with him. In the little town of Guevkirsten, there were no tourists.
He was known to all, and knew all. In such a small town, it was not hard to know everyone who lived there.
At dawn, the marketplace nearby would slowly come alive. Farmers, fish mongers and butchers would pass him by and every morning they would exchange at least one short sentence with him. He knew if they had a good harvest at the fields, or good haul at sea, or healthy livestock. He also would know if they had a bad night from being shunned by the wife to sleeping on the couch after coming home a wee bit too late from the tavern. He knew if they were happy, sad or just bored. And from their collective news at dawn, he would strum his faithful guitar and sing his self-composed lyrics.
With the sun high up in the sky and singing birds come the housewives, who would regularly be seen dragging their youngest children in tow. They would wish him good morning, listen to his tune and hurry off to the marketplace. If he were singing a joyful tune, they knew that the harvest and meat would probably be good and they couldn't want to get to the market for their shopping! If he were singing a soulful tune, they would also hurry off to the market to try to get the best bargain before any other woman snatches up a better deal or a better piece of meat. But most of the time, his tune was merry and the women would hurry off anyway, eager to shop and spend their money on food and perhaps some new clothes for the children. The young children who followed their mothers often wander off to him and his guitar while their mommys bargain to their hearts content. The women never worried, for crime was low in their little town, and at any rate they knew their children can be found playing near him at the corner of Alberta and Kilmaan Streets. He would entertain his chlidish audience with stories and accompanying music. His stories were always different, but they all ended the same way: singing a merry folk song that all the children would know by heart from the age of three. Most of them could remember up to five of his folk songs.
The women and young children would soon leave the marketplace before noon. The mothers who stopped to claim their children from his loyal audience would have a small chat with him. He would know their latest triumphs (see the pretty blue bonnet my husband got for me, all I had to do was praise his muscles a little!), and also their latest grievances (ooh, little Tim broke my favourite porcelein vase last night!) He would share in their victories and help shoulder the pain that their children caused them. All the gossip would certainly pass through his ears, and the best thing about him was that they never passed through his lips. He deflected all unwanted questions and probings by strumming his guitar and breaking into yet another song.
At noon, the older children would return home from school. Most of them, if not all, would stop by his side to sing along with him. He was never made fun of, for he was their favourite friend and the only entertainment available to the children apart from the occasional arrival of the circus or moving funfair. The children knew and loved him, sang his songs, told him of their day in school and some even make up new songs to sing along with him. They stayed for a half hour, and hurry off home to eat and to help out in the housework. The girls would have to cook, clean or tend to the front garden while the boys would have to manage the vegetable patches in the back yard, mend the fences or fix the plumbing. Hence the half hour they spent with him would be the time with they are totally carefree to gossip among each other while being entertained by his guitar.
In the afternoon, the market closes and so do all the shops. The shopkeepers would pass him by, stopping to inquire about his health and to talk about their business. Often, they would share a little of their produce with him, some gave him chocolates, some gave him bread and some gave him a pipe. He would, in return, listen to their troubles and wash away their worries with a song. It always worked.
The evenings saw the men return from work, and walking out to the pubs and taverns. They would pass him by, sober, and later in the night a little more tipsy than their wives would prefer. They listened and talked to him before a drink, and sang with him after. On specials nights, like someone's birthday, he would join them in the pub...him and his faithful old guitar...playing the birthday song, and any other song requests.
He was well liked.
Yet, he had no job. No one knew where he got the money to eat. He never worked, for he was always there, at the corner of Alberta and Kilmaan Street, standing and strumming his guitar. No one knew anything about his family or his friends.
He was not there, at the corner of Alberta and Kilmaan Streets, one fine day in early October just before the autumn claimed the land. The music and singing was missed terribly. The town icon was lost. They waited for him for two days, they went to his known address, they even called the police in the big city 2 hours away. But no one knew where he went. He had simply disappeared.
And it was very quiet, there at the corner of Alberta and Kilmaan Streets.
Three months later, the young boys began to take out their guitars to sing there for about a half hour after their school closes. Their mothers did not disapprove. The men followed their suit, and started taking guitars to the pubs and taverns at nights. The women started singing to the marketplace, and the young children in tow also humming along the same tune.
The man was gone, but the music never died.
