No one knew why he did it. Day after day, came rain or shine, there he stood at the corner of Alberta and Kilmaan Streets playing his guitar and singing softly. He placed no hat in front of him for monetary collection. In fact, any attempts to give him money was always promptly rejected. He once spent twenty minutes in a conversation with a very insistent 70-year-old woman on why he wouldn't take her ten dollar note. He had appeared one day many years ago, to the town. He was not homeless, nor was he poor. He was always immaculately dressed, with his black cotton pants, brown trenchcoat, shiny leather shoes and a tall hat. His clothes may be out of fashion, but they were always clean and impeccable. The locals became accustomed to his music and voice and any new resident quickly became acquainted with him. In the little town of Guevkirsten, there were no tourists.
He was known to all, and knew all. In such a small town, it was not hard to know everyone who lived there.
At dawn, the marketplace nearby would slowly come alive. Farmers, fish mongers and butchers would pass him by and every morning they would exchange at least one short sentence with him. He knew if they had a good harvest at the fields, or good haul at sea, or healthy livestock. He also would know if they had a bad night from being shunned by the wife to sleeping on the couch after coming home a wee bit too late from the tavern. He knew if they were happy, sad or just bored. And from their collective news at dawn, he would strum his faithful guitar and sing his self-composed lyrics.
With the sun high up in the sky and singing birds come the housewives, who would regularly be seen dragging their youngest children in tow. They would wish him good morning, listen to his tune and hurry off to the marketplace. If he were singing a joyful tune, they knew that the harvest and meat would probably be good and they couldn't want to get to the market for their shopping! If he were singing a soulful tune, they would also hurry off to the market to try to get the best bargain before any other woman snatches up a better deal or a better piece of meat. But most of the time, his tune was merry and the women would hurry off anyway, eager to shop and spend their money on food and perhaps some new clothes for the children. The young children who followed their mothers often wander off to him and his guitar while their mommys bargain to their hearts content. The women never worried, for crime was low in their little town, and at any rate they knew their children can be found playing near him at the corner of Alberta and Kilmaan Streets. He would entertain his chlidish audience with stories and accompanying music. His stories were always different, but they all ended the same way: singing a merry folk song that all the children would know by heart from the age of three. Most of them could remember up to five of his folk songs.
The women and young children would soon leave the marketplace before noon. The mothers who stopped to claim their children from his loyal audience would have a small chat with him. He would know their latest triumphs (see the pretty blue bonnet my husband got for me, all I had to do was praise his muscles a little!), and also their latest grievances (ooh, little Tim broke my favourite porcelein vase last night!) He would share in their victories and help shoulder the pain that their children caused them. All the gossip would certainly pass through his ears, and the best thing about him was that they never passed through his lips. He deflected all unwanted questions and probings by strumming his guitar and breaking into yet another song.
At noon, the older children would return home from school. Most of them, if not all, would stop by his side to sing along with him. He was never made fun of, for he was their favourite friend and the only entertainment available to the children apart from the occasional arrival of the circus or moving funfair. The children knew and loved him, sang his songs, told him of their day in school and some even make up new songs to sing along with him. They stayed for a half hour, and hurry off home to eat and to help out in the housework. The girls would have to cook, clean or tend to the front garden while the boys would have to manage the vegetable patches in the back yard, mend the fences or fix the plumbing. Hence the half hour they spent with him would be the time with they are totally carefree to gossip among each other while being entertained by his guitar.
In the afternoon, the market closes and so do all the shops. The shopkeepers would pass him by, stopping to inquire about his health and to talk about their business. Often, they would share a little of their produce with him, some gave him chocolates, some gave him bread and some gave him a pipe. He would, in return, listen to their troubles and wash away their worries with a song. It always worked.
The evenings saw the men return from work, and walking out to the pubs and taverns. They would pass him by, sober, and later in the night a little more tipsy than their wives would prefer. They listened and talked to him before a drink, and sang with him after. On specials nights, like someone's birthday, he would join them in the pub...him and his faithful old guitar...playing the birthday song, and any other song requests.
He was well liked.
Yet, he had no job. No one knew where he got the money to eat. He never worked, for he was always there, at the corner of Alberta and Kilmaan Street, standing and strumming his guitar. No one knew anything about his family or his friends.
He was not there, at the corner of Alberta and Kilmaan Streets, one fine day in early October just before the autumn claimed the land. The music and singing was missed terribly. The town icon was lost. They waited for him for two days, they went to his known address, they even called the police in the big city 2 hours away. But no one knew where he went. He had simply disappeared.
And it was very quiet, there at the corner of Alberta and Kilmaan Streets.
Three months later, the young boys began to take out their guitars to sing there for about a half hour after their school closes. Their mothers did not disapprove. The men followed their suit, and started taking guitars to the pubs and taverns at nights. The women started singing to the marketplace, and the young children in tow also humming along the same tune.
The man was gone, but the music never died.
How to save money for the people who are already broke
0 comments Published by Mel on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 at 1:44 PMOk, there have been loads of stuff off the internet on how to save money. But their tips include: stop drinking Starbucks, or go shopping only once a week using cash instead of credit card. Honestly, those tips are for those people who are already pretty well-off but just overspending. What about those who are already broke and need to save more money for college tuition fees and stuff like that? People who can't even afford to pay for Kopi-O in the mamak, much less Starbucks in the first place?
Here’s what you do:
Firstly, stop going to mamak with your friends so often. That Teh Ais might only cost RM1.40, but if you go 5 days in a week, after a month you will be spending RM28. That’s a lot of money for someone who is already broke. Besides, RM28 can buy you the new box of underwear that you seriously need (not safe for your reproduction orgrans to go hanging about near the zips of your jeans, I tell you). However, by not going for outings you may end up losing friends, so it may be a better idea to still go to mamak, but bring your own bottle of water (not mineral water, but boiled water that you pour into your recycled mineral water bottle). Mamaks are usually quite tolerant of people bringing in bottle water.
The second thing you need to do is stop buying lunch at the hawker. Go shop in Giant or the Pasar Pagi (morning market) and buy some eggs, tofu and vegetables. Those are pretty cheap. Cook your own food and tah pao (pack it) to your college or work place. This will save you something like RM2 a day. After a month, you would have saved RM40. If you feel shy about eating that, why not pack sandwiches instead? 4 slices of bread and some tuna spread, you can eat this with your friends in the food court. Maybe once a week, you can treat yourself to a char kuey teow. Oh yar, and never buy drinks. Just pack your mineral water bottle. Eh, you think RM40 so easy to earn ar? RM40 can easily pay for your handphone bill OK.
Another thing to save money is to spend less on consumables. Let's face it, tissue paper is expensive. Cloth is reusable and washable. Use a face cloth to wipe your face after washing instead of tissue. Use a hand cloth to wipe your hands after washing. You will save loads on buying tissue paper. Also, the dish washing liquid is pretty much the same, whether you buy an expensive brand or the Giant/Tesco brand. If it offends you to look at the cheapo brand in your house, buy a nice washing liquid dispenser for your kitchen and fill it up with the cheapo brand. No one will know the difference and your dishes will still stay clean. You can do the same for hand washing liquid.
Let your friends know you are broke, and if they choose an expensive restaurant to eat it, you will only be ordering water. Some friends take it for granted that expensive places to eat is actually cheap. They think the food outlets in shopping complexes are very cheap what. Only RM9.90 for a bowl of noodles. If you don’t buy, they say you are so kiam. This is the core reason why you’re always broke: peer pressure. Let them know that you’re not stopping them from spending, so why are they stopping you from not spending? And excuse me, but we can easily get a bowl of noodles for less than half that price. A friend who thinks less of you because you’re not overflowing with cash is not a friend worth having. And there are some friends who don’t understand that eating out “once in a while” means eating out once a month or once a fortnight. They think “once in a while” means every other day.
Stop going to clubs. Look, RM20 for a small glass of tequila is fine when your daddy is giving you an allowance of RM500 a week. But if you’re working part-time, paying your rent, buying your food and studying at the same time, you’re going to be broke real fast. And these “friends” who ask you out saying they will pay for you sometimes will btch about you behind your back saying that you never pay for anything, only know how to mooch etc etc. They think just because they spend RM300 a week on alcohol means you should do so as well. Stop going out with them to clubs (meet them in the mamak instead after their clubbing). Those drinks that they buy for you are not really free of they are going to say you are a cheapo moocher behind your back. Besides, you can’t really talk much in clubs anyway.
If you drive, here's an important tip: FIND ALL THE ROUTES THAT YOU CAN TAKE TO AVOID THE BLOODY TOLL! With the recent increase in toll prices, you are going to have to avoid these tolls at all cost. Also, petrol prices have gone up, so here are a few tips to consume less petrol: stop driving above 70kmh. Your petrol will last longer. Brake early, don't wait until last moment only tekan brek. Also, if you are driving automatic car, when you come to a red light, shift your gear to Neutral. Go Neutral also when going downhill.Have some frugal friends. You know, if your friends are trying to save as much as you, you’re probably going to enjoy their company better. You will find things to do that don’t involve spending too much cash. You may even find things with discounts and go for it. I once went out shopping with a girl who considers me too kiam with money. For instance: when we found that Starbucks was giving away free coffee for participating in some activity, I wanted to go for it. She rolled her eyes as if it was so tacky and totally beneath her. On the other hand, I have a friend who only goes to Swenson’s on Tuesdays with 3 other people so that they can share the Earthquake (it’s 50% off on Tuesdays). We can still enjoy nice and expensive things, just be aware of the discounts and take advantage of it! You know, I would normally never drink Starbucks because of the price. It would have been enjoyable if we took advantage of the offer. Too bad my friend thought that was too tacky for her. This includes get-togethers. The eye-rolling-offer-offended friend considers that get-togethers are only fun if there are loads of expensive bottles of hard liquor involved. The other friend is perfectly happy with steamboat get-together (where people bring tofu, eggs, Chinese cabbage and a little chicken) as well as playing Mahjong (using peanuts of course!). It became so hard to remain being friends with someone who got offended when I refused to spend so much money. And it became easier on my sanity and pockets to be with someone who can have fun even though we don’t spend much.
Don’t smoke. If you do, it will cost you more than you can ever hope to save.
Being frugal doesn’t mean you have to live poor or be super stingy. It involves making choices that are necessary for your survival. It’s about choosing practicality or luxury. I still buy presents for friends, or take them out for meals, only it’s not that often (perhaps only once every 2 months or 3 months). Most of them time we go Dutch, or just spend time in either my house or their houses. They are understanding and even help me save money by lending a hand (i.e. downloading movies using bit-torrent so that I don’t have to pay for movie tickets of dvds, helping me with manicure and pedicure etc). It’s fantastic, and the money I save can go into buying them simple gifts when I’m overseas. They don’t frown at my simple gifts (wah so cheap ar), but appreciate them to the point of feeling paiseh (shy) to receive them because they know I probably didn’t buy anything for myself and ate instant noodles for dinner everyday while overseas.
10 signs that he/she is cheating on you
0 comments Published by Mel on Monday, April 16, 2007 at 11:33 AMNormally, a person cannot hide the emotional and psychological effects of sharing their lives with another person other than their spouse. It is almost inevitable that certain telltale signs will show because the emotions of the cheater will show through their actions, facial expressions and body language. By learning and understanding how the human psychology works, you can probably pin-point certain worrying traits in your partner.
Mind you, if you partner exhibits one or two of these signs, they may not actually be cheating. It may just be coincidental. However, if you find yourself agreeing with majority of the signs, (5 or more of the 10 in this list), you should probably start taking a closer look at your relationship. Also, they may not be in a physical affair. It may be an emotional affair, or a crush they have on another person.
So are they having an affair? Read on:
1. The most common: Suddenly buying you flowers and gifts and all of the sudden, being extra attentive! And it's not your birthday... 
This is normally not a cause of worry unless it is accompanied by the other signs in this list. However, cheaters will be extra affectionate during the first few weeks of their cheating due to guilt of betraying you. It could even be a conscious to try to spice up their relationship with you. BUT this will not last. Eventually it will move on to number 2.
2. Fighting with you over almost everything (small or big), and storming off during the fight, shutting you out. When you talk/discuss about it later, he/she starts saying things like: "What would you do if our relationship ended", or "Will we still be friends if we are no longer a couple?"
The fighting over small things is normally a result of the cheater's emotions of guilt due to betrayal, and an unconscious need to have a reason to cheat (i.e. we are fighting all the time). The repeated statements of the end of your relationship is probably due to him/her constantly thinking of leaving you. Of course, he/she may not actually be cheating based on this sign alone: they could actually WANT to leave you (but not actually be cheating). Also, fighting over small things is more commonly a sign of PMS...However, if you have BOTH the fighting and the end of relationship, AFTER the showers of presents, it is a big red flag.
3. Change in behavioural patterns. 
You are closest to your partner and knows your partner inside out. You know their mood swings, their behaviour, their actions and even their schedule. If you notice something different, you may not be able to pinpoint what it is. But your instincts tell you it has changed. Look carefully. Don't ignore it because you are not making it up. For instance, your partner seems moody around you, and gets very happy when you say you are going leaving. Or, your partner is angry over God knows what (they refuse to share with you), although you don't think there was anything you did wrong or that anything went wrong in the day's activities. You see, it is inevitable that the cheater's relationship with the other person will spill over to your relationship. If they had a fight, the cheater is bound to bring it to you. If he/she was upset with the other person, he/she will be moody around you.
4. Slowly by slowly, you are getting shut out.
First it would be the talking. He/she stops talking to you, telling you about their day, or what they are thinking. You realised that you no longer talk about your feelings because your partner isn't interested to know what you want or feel anymore. When you DO talk, you are getting criticism over all the things that your partner used to find attractive about you. Any comments you make to your spouse will make him/her easily offended and start another fight. Number 2 (in the list) repeats itself until you you're too scared to talk to your partner first (you rather let him/her bring up a topic of discussion). The trouble is that he/she prefers not to even look at you or talk to you. He/she also begins to shut the door when they are changing (they never did this before), read a book or watch TV when you want to have s3x, pushes you away when you try to be affectionate and stops kissing you passionately. What's happening here is that your partner is starting to distance themselves from you. This is an unconscious effort to physically and psychologically move away from you so that it makes the cheating easier (less guilt). It's hard to live with the feeling of guilt pressing on them when they are betraying you, so pushing you away makes it a whole lot easier.
5. He/she has a new hobby/interest that they never had before.
This is a very BIG RED FLAG, especially if your partner didn't mention a new friend (of the same gender). Having a new hobby or interest or talking about something that he/she was previously completely uninterested in and that you don't share in means that he/she has been sharing this with someone else. People seldom have a change in their routines and interest unless it is sparked by another person. If he/she has a new friend, this will probably also happen. But if you don't know of them having any new friends of the same gender, it's most likely that they picked this up from someone else, and someone VERY CLOSE to them (i.e. their lover).
6. Your partner starts talking about another person of the opposite gender,
often criticising the person in an unconscious attempt to send the message that they are not interested in/will never be interested in that person. Psychologically and mentally, it is very hard to push a love interest out of the mind completely. Remember when you first fell in love with your spouse? You thought about him/her almost every free moment you had! It is no different when an affair starts. The cheater will constantly think of the other person, and inevitably end up talking about that person. In an effort to cover up, they will try to criticize the other person.
7. Your partner stops paying attention to you.
It started off with the lack of conversation and the shutting out (see number 4 above). It will continue to this. You make special effort to look nice, put on nice clothes and even work out in the gym. Your partner just doesn't notice you or your routines and life. He/she stops complimenting you on your looks and stops telling you "I love you".
8. Your partner no longer wants to discuss the future of your relationship.
This is another red flag. If previously, you have been discussing having children/retirement plans and now your partner stops or avoids the conversation, it is likely that he/she is thinking that of ending the relationship. This doesn't necessarily mean that he/she is cheating on you, but if coupled with number 6, this is a BIG RED FLAG for you.
9. Sleeping patterns.
He/she either is super exhausted (without good explanation/reason) when going to bed, or has restless nights. Your spouse is also confused or disoriented when waking up. This can be due to too much toil during the affair, and also having trouble remembering which bed he/she is waking up in! If you see this after your spouse has been travelling, it is probably normal. But if you're going through a normal routine life and your spouse is overly tired or doesn't seem to know where he/she is waking up, this is a bad sign. The most obvious sign would probably be your spouse sleep-talking and calling another person's name!
10. Close relatives and friends start to notice something is amiss.
Because you have been living with the gradual changes, you may not necessarily notice immediately that things are so very different. You may even unconsciously choose to ignore it. But close friends and relatives will pick up on the tension and changes and comment on it.
5 things you should know before sending out invitations to your wedding
0 comments Published by Mel on Thursday, March 29, 2007 at 9:35 AM
In the age of consumerism, we start making many BIG, BAD etiquette decisions simply because of our inabilities to detach ourselves from what we want. The bride wants the dream wedding she always wanted, to be showered with the many beautiful presents she expects to get on her big day, a dream house to return to etc etc. BUT she forgets that the people attending her wedding may not want to spend all that money and time. What is a big day to her, may not be a big day to others. The trouble with consumerism is that we get so caught up with the getting, that we forget all the other constraints involved such as other peoples feelings, opinions, thoughts and hearts.
The following are 2 true stories written by people irritated with the bride-to-be:
Note: SIL = sister in law, BIL = brother in law
I was copied on a mass email sent by my future SIL the other day, and it's taken me this long to recover and post about it. The first sentence wasn't so bad, but it waaaay downhill from there. The second paragraph notes when/where the bridal shower is, then goes on to say where they are registered, but that "of course, cash and gift cards are always welcome!" As if that wasn't bad enough, the next paragraph goes on to talk about the bachelorette party SHE's planning (um, no) and that she wants to have a Pure Romance party and everyone needs to bring her "naughty" gifts. That is just so not an image I want in my head. Then it gets even worse. The wedding and the reception are two hours away from each other, which is bad enough, but then she goes on to state that one of the highlights of the reception will be opening gifts from those unable to attend the shower, like "Bob's" (my BIL's) family who are all from out of town! My jaw hit the floor when I read all of this. I don't think the entire library of Miss Manners books could make a dent in this girl.
Exhibit 2: The Greedy AND Selfish Bride
NOTE: MOH = maid of honour, MOB = mother of bride
This was waiting for me in the mail when I got home today. The shower is being held for the daughter of my mothers best friend. It is her second marriage. I was guilted into babysitting for her a couple of summers ago (and she still owes me $70 but that's another story). Anyway I got an invitation to her bridal shower. This is the part of the invitation that nearly made me choke when I read it."We are having a room by room shower! Let's help John and Jane decorate their beautiful new house! You have been assigned the master bath. Jane's colors for this room are chocolate brown and cream. Please bring bath towels in these colors."
Well I immediately called my mom to see if she had gotten an invitation, she had. She was assigned the master bedroom and was told to bring sheets for a queen sized bed in pale blue.
You want to know the best part of this? Mom had spoken with the MOH when she called to RSVP and the MOH was so proud that she had talked the bride out of including registry cards on with invitations because "that just looks so tacky!". Evidently MOH and bride came up with this idea together in order to avoid duplicate gifts and to make sure the bride got what she wanted.
I figure I'll let her keep the $70 she owes me as her wedding gift and it's such a shame that I can't get the day off work so I can come to her shower.
From what I understand they came up with this in place of a registry because they thought registries were tacky. I don't understand the logic behind that but OK. My mom is going for her friend (who is really a very lovely lady and was horrified when she found out what her daughter was planning). The shower is next Saturday (yeah I know, really short notice) so I'll be able to find out everything that went on.
So I talked with my mom this morning, she took the MOB out to dinner last night, she is just sick about the whole wedding and this shower idea but has already had so many fights with the bride and groom and MOH about the wedding that she is not willing to fight with them about this. This is just a bit of background information on the wedding and all the drama involved in it. Keep in mind this is the brides second marriage, the grooms third.
The fireworks started when the bride and groom discovered that neither set of parents were willing to contribute money towards the wedding. Well there were many temper tantrums, tears, threats of never being able to see their grandchild again (and that was just from the groom you should have seen how the bride acted). Finally just to keep the peace the MOB agreed to contribute some money towards their wedding, the grooms parents are standing firm that they will not be contributing anything.
Then the fights over the wedding itself began. The bride wants this to be a very lavish event. She has six bridesmaids and two flower girls, is going to be wearing a big poufy white dress, floor length veil, the whole works. She is having the wedding and reception in Boise which is about a five hour drive from the town where their families live. Reason? She couldn't find anything in our town that was fancy enough for her. Her mom suggested that maybe things were getting too elaborate for a second wedding and they should tone it down a bit but she was accused of trying to ruin the brides day and was also accused of trying to punish the bride for her failed first marriage and that was the reason she didn't want her to have a nice wedding. Every time she suggested something a little less expensive or less elaborate she ended up getting in a fight with either the MOH or the bride and groom. So she just stopped trying to help at all and just wrote the bride a check and washed her hands of the whole thing.
Now about the shower. The MOH wanted the MOB to host it at a rather expensive restaurant (and pay for it of course). MOB finally put her foot down and said she would have nothing to do with a shower for the wedding. Well MOH and bride pitched a royal fit but MOB stands firm on this. Well then MOH and bride descended on his mom and tried to bully her into paying for a fancy shower. She refused and so the bride is no longer on speaking terms with either mom.
MOB is already getting calls from her family as they get their invitations, this is just some of the things they have been told to bring, stainless steel kitchen appliances, power tools (cause ya know the groom would just be crushed if he didn't get shower presents too), kitchen towels in red or black, a down comforter, and this is the best one, bed linens for the brides daughters bedroom which is being decorated in a Disney Princess theme.
Dear GOD, what has happened here? Why do people fight with each other and create so much anger, tension and hurt over an event that is supposed to celebrate love? Why has materialism and consumerism taken over all the most joyous and sacred of events such as weddings and christmasses? What has happened?
By focusing only on themselves and what they hope to gain, they have lost their ability to give love.
Starting out on a new life with a new partner is already challenging. Throwing in the disagreements, tension and fights about the wedding day prior only makes things worse. It is easy to lose perspective of what is really important once you get into the groove of wanting a day for yourself. The planning which started as a happy occasion, became an extension of the ego, and unconsciously, the loving became the selfish. They may think: “What’s wrong? It’s only for one day. They can’t even give me this little on ONE occasion? Stingy ba$tard$! Can’t even chip in for my wedding? Selfish a$$hoes!”.
What’s worse is that a selfish person is incapable of seeing themselves as selfish. Instead, they see others as selfish for not giving.
So what are the 5 things you should know?
- Try to remember WHY you are getting married.
Is it for the presents or the big event? Is it for the diamond and new house? The party? The feeling-like-a-princess-for-day experience? If these are your reasons, by all means, irritate the hell out of your guests and relatives. Because congratulations, you are a DIVA and your marriage will end like the many DIVAS in Hollywood – divorce. With a whole bunch of people saying “I knew it was coming”.
You are marrying to be with HIM. The man who will spend the rest of his life with you. The love of your life. And this ceremony doesn’t change your love for him, or the wedding day. You just want to be with him. So don’t get caught up with the wedding plans and forget the marriage. It’s like planning for a big battle, and forgetting the war ahead of you. - You may need to rethink what a perfect wedding means
A lot of brides forget themselves while planning the big day. They want perfection. They EXPECT perfection. They EXPECT presents. They EXPECT everything to be done THEIR way. It’s MY DAY, I want the perfect day! Is this too much to ask? Don’t ruin MY DAY!!! Well, you can demand, and you may even get what you demand. But you are going to lose someone else’s respect. You are paying with your reputation. Remember that other people may have their own way of doing things, which may not coincide with your idea of perfection, but may not be a bad thing either. Don’t go hysterical over having the “wrong coloured candles”. - You don’t need to be showered with gifts
Gone are the days when people accepted gifts with gratitude. Now we have wish-lists and even people going so far as to dictate what presents you should get them. Do you want guests there for the presents that they give to you, or do you just want to share the special day with them? Isn’t a wedding all about the love and union between 2 people? If you want an elaborate wedding, that is fine, but it isn’t a good thing when you are expecting someone else to pay for your extravagance, or for guests to bring you great presents. Pay your own way, and just enjoy your guests. Having your expensive dream wedding at another person’s expense is nice, no doubt about that. It’s the ultimate victory in consumerism – to get something for nothing. However what you don’t lose out in terms of money, you will eventually lose out in terms of your relationship with the other person. And that’s something even money cannot buy back. - Include your partner in your plans.
Many brides tend to neglect their partner in their plans. They have this huge dream, whereby the man is not required to give any input. In some cases, any input from him is not appreciated. He is supposed to just attend and is only an accessory in the wedding. Just picture this conversationà Groom: “I don’t think we should spend 300 bucks on doves only to release them at the end of the day.” Bride: “Did I even ask you? We ARE having the doves and your mother has already agreed to it, so be a good son and husband and obey!” So what is he? It’s HIS wedding day too! Include him, and make this an affair between the two of you. You may have to compromise some of your dreams to include some of his practicalities, but you what you lose in terms of “dreams” will be invested in your marriage. You are working as a couple! What you gain is far better than a dream: it’s a beautiful reality. What’s the point of having a beautiful dream and an ugly reality? - Your guests prefer to see love, not grandeur
Trying to outdo any other wedding anyone else has ever attended before is a great goal. You want to make this a day they will remember. They may even be talking about your wedding in months to come! Great goal, but could you do it in another occasion, like your birthday party? Because in your wedding, your wonderful guests would probably want to see the loving couple unite. What could be more memorable than having the bride and groom so completely in love with each other and glowing with happiness? When you see 2 young lovers sharing in the beauty of new love, the candles, cakes, décor and rooms are all forgotten. You only see love, and share in that love. And perhaps if you have enough love for each other, it will shine out and remind other older couples of their love for their spouses. A beautiful wedding ceremony is not the one with best entertainment. It’s the one where the love is pure.
Is it possible to have a horrid and nice day at the same time?
2 comments Published by Mel on Monday, March 19, 2007 at 3:49 PMToday was a very busy day. People were harassing me the very last minute and I was made to attend one extra meeting that was a waste of my time. Somehow, everytime there is some sudit, I am always chosen to sit in the committee that meets with the auditors. ALWAYS ME! I have been on every single audit since I started work. It sux. It takes what up precious little time I have. And it means I have to work on Saturdays to cover up all the stuff I miss out on.
So it was a horrid day. I had a very bad dream about eating hokkien mee with centipedes, caterpillars and bugs - and then having to scale down a very high wall (i am afraid of heights). I woke up with eyebags and muscle aches. My cereal ran out in the morning. I couldn't buy bread in the afternoon coz the shop ran out of bread. I was called in last minute for another audit. Everyone passes their work last minute. And expects feedback in time on top of it...idiots...
And it was a great day too. Because as I was leaving the lab after another 2 hour session of horror, one young man with afro style hair caught up with me in the lift area to let me know what he thought of me. His exact words were: "You look great, you look hot. How old are you? Wow, just wanted to let you know you look great!".
How I wished I had let him know he made my day. After such a nasty day, I found myself giggling like a school girl on a hot summer day.
What to look for in a Spa Package...
1 comments Published by Mel on Thursday, March 15, 2007 at 11:05 AM
What entails a good spa package? If you want to treat your loved one to a spa experience, but have never personally gone for one before, how do you know if what you are getting your partner is a nice experience?Now, if this is the one and only time you are going for the spa, please get the full package. There is no sense in getting just a 30-minute massage. I don't think that is a going to be a very nice present for your loved one...
Get something such as a foot soak to start off the spa experience. Its simple, it's nice and it marks the beginning of 3-4 hours of pampering. Make sure they serve you some nice ginger or ginseng drink before you start out, coz you're normally entitled to a drink before your spa. You can choose different soaks for your feet. If you have very dry skin, rose and milk may suit you. If your feet are tired after a whole day of shopping (or following your partner shopping), some herbal bath may be better. If you think they are all the same and you couldn't care less which one to choose, then go for the aromatherapy soaks. They are the safest. They smell good and they feel nice. Only problem is, you probably have to choose which of the ten different oils you want to use! I personally like frangipani, lavender and rose. If in doubt, just choose lavender.Next, you should go for a body scrub. It's pretty nice, they massage a scrub all over your body, then you go for a hot tub and after that your skin will glow! If you don't fancy a scrub, you can opt to head straight for the hot tub.
You will be presented with the same set of problems for the hot tub. Do you want herbal? Which kind? Do you want rose petals? Do you want aromatherapy? Which oils?
Ye Chow almost went mad with all the choices. I simply chose the herbal one since we already had an aromatherapy foot soak. The tub may vary in shape and size. The one we had is narrow in diameter, but pretty deep (see photo), but most places have a wide and shallow tub. The more classy places may have an oversized tub in a private courtyard. Our bath came with a few pretty flowers (which Ye Chow subsequently shreded apart). Someday, I want to go buy a whole bunch of flowers and cover the entire surface of my own bath tub!Anyway, after your hot tub, you will be all warm and ready for your massage. If you are in doubt as to which massage to choose, ask yourself the following questions:
- Do you want to be pampered? If so, choose Swedish or Aromatherapy massage. Swedish massage is very relaxing, and uses smooth, circular motions. Aromatherapy massage simply uses some essential oils on top of the massage oils. Some people like the smell, some don't. So you have a choice.
- Do you want some sort of a treatment with your massage but are afraid of pain? If so, choose hot-stone massage therapy or shiatsu. Hot-stones are nice and warm and loosens your tight muscles without causing too much pain. People who try shiatsu may first think it sounds painful, but it is actually quite pleasant. Your body will normally feel very nice, musclaes all loosened up and body balance improve with either one of these two therapies.
- Do you want to be tortured??? Oh you masochist you....Don't worry, most spas have just the thing for you! Go for either Thai massage or deep tissue massage. Mind you, the latter can cause you pain for the next 2 days, so be warned!
Since we were on our honeymoon, i chose aromatherapy massage to improve blood circulation and for relaxation. These massage treatments normally last 1 hour 15 minutes up to 1 hour 45 minutes. If you're getting less than that, please complain to the spa centre and tell them that everywhere else is offering 90minutes, they should at least comply with the standard! After that, please leave the place. You don't want to go for their deep tissue massage if they are pi$$ed off with you. You may end up sore for a whole week!
Now after you have gotten your massage, you can either go off to shower, or continue with:
- facial
- hair treatment
- foot reflexology
- all of the above
It's always a good idea to end with at least one of the above. That is because after your massage, you may be a little lethargic (if it was relaxing) or terribly sore (for the masochists), and want to linger a little longer to get your sense of balance back before you head off home. We opted for spa facial and ended with some foot reflexology. We also got some warm ginger/ginseng tea. Always remember this: You MUST have something warm to drink after your massage. It's good for your body system, since it helps with circulation. The facial or hair treatment should last about an hour, while the foot reflexology is normally 30-45 mins.
So now that you know what a spa package is like, the first thing that you should have noticed is how much time it all takes! So don't plan to have both spa and fishing in the same afternoon. It's not going to work. You need an entire morning or afternoon to enjoy it. I prefer afternoon, at least 1 hour after lunch. It leaves you feeling all nice, warm and pampered and sets the mood for a romantic dinner.
How to create an OUTSTANDING Valentine CHEAPLY
If you know my spouse, Ye Chow, well you should know that he's one of those guys who detest Valentine's Day.
This is how he describes Valentine's day:
The day which the gate of the sinful open wide and the evil spirits roam free. The dark energy started their preparation from one month ago and this is the day when the dark army strikes. The evil spirits are everywhere on Valentine’s Day, causing people to rob each other under the bright light of the heaven. Even the innocents are not spared. Home is your only refuge on this evil day! Stay home! Heed the warning, or come out at your own peril!
I'm very sure this is shared by quite a few blokes out there. To some extent, Valentine's Day is quite ridiculous (maybe not as dramatic as Ye Chow's description). Why in the world do couples who spend most of their time going out on dates even need another day to date? It's not like we're celebrating World Marriage Day here (where married couples can ditch their whiny kids at home and have a special night out). We're celebrating a day for couples who are already dating! The trouble is that because dating couples already go on spectacular dates, they need to spend more to make this day remotely special. So out comes the ridiculously expensive presents, ridiculously expensive chocolate, ridiculously expensive 5 course dinner and extremely ridiculously expensive roses ($10 per stalk, ARE THEY INSANE??)
So how do we dating couples have an outstanding Valentine's day without spending all that extra cash?
I shall let you in on our secret for a beautiful Valentine's day!
Note: Firstly, I should admit that it took me 2 days to convince Ye Chow to even step out of the house for Valentine's day. We were in Melbourne for work, and so we HAD to go to the office for some meetings with our colleagues. But both our meetings ended a little early, so I managed to convince him to go out to the city and walk around a bit.
Turtle Channel's Spectacular and CHEAP Valentine's Night!
1. Flowers
Ok, we all know how much these things cost during Valentine's day. But why bring your girl flowers? Have you ever thought of this instead: bring her to the flowers!! Think about it! You
can shower her with flowers and it won't cost you a thing...and you won't have to kill any plants in the process! And it's even more romantic that giving her a bouquet of roses and kissing over it. You can kiss her while you're surrounded by flowers! You can even romp in the nearby patch of grass, tickle her, kiss or and more! The possibilities are endless! Make the whole giving-flowers-on-Valentine's-Day an event that lasts something like 1-2 hours. You can even bring a camera and tripod to record the whole event. Believe me, it can be very romantic just holding hands and walking in the park. And kissing while surrounded by flowers. And yes, romping on soft 
grass is pretty nice too. Especially if there is a
nearby lake. You can even bring some bread to feed the ducks together!
2. Gourmet dinner.jpg)
Well, have you seen the ads on newspapers? Some hotels offer a 5-course dinner by candlelight with live band entertainment, flowers and candy for the girl and free polaroid picture to record the event. All for just RM800 per couple. Very cheap isn't it? Waitabloodyminute! Isn't that the price of 1.3 MP camera handphone from Motorola? You're eating a camera handphone! Dear God! As a nice alternative, you can bring your girl dinner under the moonlight! It completely complements the walk-in-the-park-with-flowers thingy. You can bring her some fish and chips or seafood or even burger and just enjoy it under the moonlight. In my case, Ye Chow bought me a seafood platter thingy (fried fish, calamari, prawn, scallops and fries) and a chicken burger for himself from a food stall in the park (it cost less than $15). For entertainment, we didn't have a live band. Instead, we had the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra! And it was absolutely free.
So now that you know the secret of a Spectacular and Cheap Val's Day, how about you plan a good one starting from now? Go on, you have a year to get it right! And it won't have to cost you much!
Warning: 18 SG rating. Children under the age of 18 should not read this post. If you are under 18, please click here.
Our motto is: If the comic doesn't make u laugh, the ugly drawings will.
The Turtle Strip
Yesterday was a pretty lousy day in most respects. In the morning, I needed to go to the bank to transfer some funds from one acct to another. I walked there only to find that I forgot to bring one of the acct numbers with me. Then we decided to go collect my wedding gown first. Only to find that the shop was still closed. So we decided to pay the cheque for the new house. Only to find that we forgot to bring the cheque out. I started to get a headache.
So we had to go back home, take the acct book and then go to the office to get the cheque and then do everything that we needed to do. We wasted one entire morning because of our forgetfulness. After all that, we needed to send our car to the workshop because it needed some minor repairs. And I still had the headache.
So at the end of the day, we walked to the workshop from our office to get our car. We waited there for an hour before realising that it wasn't going to be ready. And hence, we walked home from the office. And my head was pounding.
As I walked home, I realised that if i were to spend my time pondering over all the stuff that went wrong, I would be spending my time venting out frustrations and anger. Instead, I thought of writing about my pleasures of the day. So let's start again.
When I woke up in the morning, my spouse held my hand and wished me good morning. He peeled a banana for me for breakfast. We saw our new house again, and it seems to be going up quite nicely.
The walk home from work was very nice, we chatted all the way home and I even had an umbrella to shield me from the sun! We spent the night with friends eating shabu shabu (his favourite!) Before we turned in for the night, he massaged my aching head, brought me Panadol and water and hugged me.
Yesterday was a pretty good day. I had a good time :)
