Turtle Channel!!!

Malaysia decided to put together a very weird combination. They integrated the traditional Wayang Kulit (Shadow Puppetry) with the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra. They were very proud of their achievement. But to be honest, it was one of the worst performances that I have ever attended.

When Hinduism came to the Islands of Java (Indonesia) and eventually to Peninsular Malaysia, its myths and beliefs were spread through folktale and stories. The spread of the religion through stories from Hindu books and epics eventually evolved into a song and story-telling theatre together with the beating of drums and Wayang Kulit was born. Here, audiences are entertained with stories mostly from Mahabhrata Ramayana. The Wayang Kulit is an absolutely beautiful synergy of Hinduism and Indonesian/Malaysian culture.

A few days ago, Malaysians ruined it by combining it with the philharmonic orchestra.

I'm sure they thought it was a great idea.

The trouble was that the rough voice of the puppet master and his tunes were very out of synch with the humming of the cello and twanging of the violin. The theatre hymns were obviously influenced from Indian and Indonesian culture, and the stories were told in a rough and excited Kelantanese dialect. The traditional musical instruments used by the puppet master were drums and wind instruments that sounded very off-key when played together with flutes, violins and harps.

The resulting effort was nothing more than noise. Awful noise, I might add. Drums that don't match, violin that robbed the beauty of the singing and turning it into the awful yowling of a cat, story-telling that made the cello the most stupid-sounding instrument in the world..and the list goes on. The Wayang Kulit itself morphed into nothing more than an annoyance, and all the orchestra music sounded worse than my 8-year-old cousin on the piano (he has never taken classes...so you can only imagine what I have to put up with every time he comes for a visit).

The worst thing is that MPO was arrogant enough to put their entire orchestra IN FRONT of the small white screen where the Wayang Kulit was shown, so our show was partially occluded by the heads of the violinists and the rearend of the conductor. I was sorely tempted to remove my stilettos and hurl it with all my might at the conductor's head. Why in the world would they think we rather watch the conductor's behind than the screen where the Wayang Kulit was showing? Insanity perhaps? Or plain arrogance? Or did they think the conductor beared some sort of a resemblance to Brad Pitt?

Thankfully the ordeal ended in 20 minutes followed by an intermission. After the short break, the orchestra played some good music (without the Wayang Kulit, Thank the Lord!). Unfortunately, the botched Wayang Kulit show was still fresh in everyone's mind, causing the applause at the end to be rather half-hearted. I think everyone else, like me, was still too traumatised by the earlier performance to remember to clap their hands.

Never again. Unesco would have pulled back their Masterpiece of Oral and Intangible Heritage of Humanity award (given to Wayang Kulit on 7 November 2003) if this was their first and only experience of the art. Absolutely Dreadful.