I'm a Weird-Guy magnet!!! I swear it!!
Published by Mel on Wednesday, August 29, 2007 at 8:47 AMMy friends used to laugh at me. While other girls attract hot footballers, I always get the geeky ones with these characteristics:
- buck teeth
- awful hair
- pimply
- huge specs
- bad posture
- extremely skinny
- pitifully undersized
- socially impaired or disabled
- giggles non-stop
- talks very loudly and with false enthusiasm
- tends to talk about themselves
- asks strange questions about you
- stares at you unflinchingly for long periods of time
- has Grandma buying his clothes for him (i.e. clothes that even Mom won't buy)
I have just recently attracted another weird guy (my 5th one so far), who happens to know I am married but still doesn't seem to back off.
He waltzed into my office one day, happily telling me that he read about me in a magazine and wanted to introduce himself. He did. Then he started talking about his father, his life, his studies etc etc. All while I am busy doing work. Worst of all, he has really BAD body odour. I had to stop breathing to keep from choking to death.
He refused to leave my office. He sat down in one of the chairs and proceeded to stare at me when he ran out of things to say. After about 20 minutes of awkward silence interspaced with bad conversation about his life, I decided to tell him I was busy. He went "Oh, what are you busy with?" After hearing my reply, he proceeded to tell me everything he is busy with too. In the end, I had to MSN my colleague to come to my office and invite me for a meeting so that I had an excuse to kick him out.
My office smelled like a dead rat for 2 days. Everyone who entered my office complained about the stench. Arrgghh...
This weird guy kept visiting my office. Every time he pays me an unwanted visit, he would talk about something happy in his life and several times punched the air with his hands in a victory dance over some happy incidences in his life (e.g. an accepted conference paper, a holiday, an accepted journal paper etc etc). It's just so weird. He even tries to get me to talk about my spouse sometimes. I never facillitate him, because I don't like talking about personal stuff when at the office. Sometimes I wonder if the reason he keeps coming to me is because he has no friends.
We moved to a new office a couple of months ago. My new office is right next to my spouse's office. So now he visits me a lot less (GREAT!!)
Anyway 2 days ago, I went for a seminar with my female colleague and there he was sitting 4 rows in front of us. This weird guy kept turning around and STARING. My female colleague got freaked out. After about 20 minutes of periodically whipping his head around and staring for 3-4 minutes (i wonder why he didn't get a neck lash), he got up from his seat and moved to the seat in front of me.
I freaked out. I left immediately. My female colleague later told me that another colleague of ours asked her where I went, and the weird guy appeared to be eaves-dropping. She told him VERY LOUDLY that I went to call my Husband. Hahahaha.....
Thank God for friends like her!
Sometimes I swear I have a sign on my forehead that says "I am attracted to you" that happens to be only visible to geeks and freaks.
