Soap-opera in the blogsphere...
Published by Mel on Thursday, December 28, 2006 at 1:38 PMI recently read the Wee-Shu-Min-Derek-Wee-cyber-soap-opera. For the uninformed, Derek Wee wrote this on his blog:
"Many of my peers, bright and well educated have packed up and left. It’s what MM Goh called “quitters”. It’s sad but true, Singapore no longer is a place where one can hope to work hard their lives and retire graciously. It’s really the push factor. A future is something we sweat it out, build and call our own. Unfortunately, people like me, mid 30’s going on 40’s, staying put by choice or otherwise, we can’t help but feel what lies ahead is really a gamble.
To PM Lee and the Ministers, we are on a different platform. Until you truly understand our insecurity, the future of Singapore to me remains a question mark." (2 Oct 2006)
Days later, Wee Shu Min posted this on her blog:
"Derek is one of many wretched, undermotivated, overassuming leeches in our country, and in this world. one of those who would prefer to be unemployed and wax lyrical about how his myriad talents are being abandoned for the foreigner’s, instead of earning a decent, stable living as a sales assistant. it’s not even about being a road sweeper. these shitbags don’t want anything without “manager” and a name card. Please, get out of my elite uncaring face." (19 Oct, 2006)
Shu Min's blog entry caused quite a huge uproar in Singapore. She eventually took down her blog, but it didn't stop there. Popular forums in Singapore and even Canada had something unkind to say about her. Those who decided to give her a break only did so because she is "only 18 and may not know much about the real world". Overnight, Shu Min went from a smart student attending a top junior college in Singapore to being witch-hunted in cyberspace. She was hung and burnt on stake over the blogsphere despite her public apology.
I read so many comments stating that she has such an elitist view because she was born with a silver spoon and doesn't know what it is really like to have to work hard in life. I found myself pondering on a few points in this whole soap-opera-like drama. Firstly, why do we bother to lock, aim and shoot someone else's point of view? Is it important that we refute everything she says? Is it necessary to bring her to her knees over this?
She has a own value system that may differ from ours. I personally can't say I agree with her thoughts, but I don't see why I should impose my values on her. She isn't my child nor is she my younger sister. It is not in my place to "teach" her my values. If her family has that value system, and taught her just that, then it is not for us to tell her that her perspectives are wrong.
The point is this: You don't have to agree with her. But it doesn't mean you can disrespect her. You don't have to like what she says. But it doesn't mean you should argue with her, hunt her down on cyber space (to the extent of dragging up her bikini pictures) and embarrass her. Why react with anger, disappointment and disgust over someone else's view of life? Why judge her?
By being harsh and critical towards another person, we invite harshness and criticism over our own actions. If we judge another, we will automatically judge ourselves, and our loved ones as well. We open the door to suffering because we thought what we are doing or saying is right. Even if our thoughts and views may be on a higher moral ground than Shu Min's, we drag ourselves to suffer anger and criticism along with her if we are to judge her comments or her upbringing.
The fact is that we can't change her upbringing. If she is born rich, that is her fate. By being overly-critical on her life and her so-called elitist comments, we may succeed in muzzling her. But we will not change her perspectives in life that have been ingrained into the core of her value system. By arguing our well-thought-out and morally-and-politically-correct case, we succeed only in making ourselves feel superior at her expense.
You know the infamous story about pointing a finger at someone (three fingers would point back at ourselves). The truth is that if you judge someone based on what they are wearing (Gucci shoes...check, Louis Vuitton bag...check, Chanel suit...check), you will need to spend a lot of money to dress up as well. Whether you realise it or not, you are suffering. You will eventually always feel insecure whatever you wear, or always feel that you may not have enough. Similarly, if you judge someone based on the house they live in, you will always be critical over the size of your own house.
If we criticise Shu Min today, we will be criticising ourselves tomorrow. After all, we have to keep to the same moral standards that we set for others (or in some cases, we may feel we need to exceed them). Why give ourselves so much pressure? Will such conditions really spur us to grow into better people? If you rear one horse in a wide and peaceful meadow, and another in a crowded and busy city, you can probably guess which horse will be the healthier (and happier) of the two. I prefer peaceful conditions. And I wish for Shu Min, and everyone else, to find peace in their tiny little portion of this earth.
"Many of my peers, bright and well educated have packed up and left. It’s what MM Goh called “quitters”. It’s sad but true, Singapore no longer is a place where one can hope to work hard their lives and retire graciously. It’s really the push factor. A future is something we sweat it out, build and call our own. Unfortunately, people like me, mid 30’s going on 40’s, staying put by choice or otherwise, we can’t help but feel what lies ahead is really a gamble.
To PM Lee and the Ministers, we are on a different platform. Until you truly understand our insecurity, the future of Singapore to me remains a question mark." (2 Oct 2006)
Days later, Wee Shu Min posted this on her blog:
"Derek is one of many wretched, undermotivated, overassuming leeches in our country, and in this world. one of those who would prefer to be unemployed and wax lyrical about how his myriad talents are being abandoned for the foreigner’s, instead of earning a decent, stable living as a sales assistant. it’s not even about being a road sweeper. these shitbags don’t want anything without “manager” and a name card. Please, get out of my elite uncaring face." (19 Oct, 2006)
Shu Min's blog entry caused quite a huge uproar in Singapore. She eventually took down her blog, but it didn't stop there. Popular forums in Singapore and even Canada had something unkind to say about her. Those who decided to give her a break only did so because she is "only 18 and may not know much about the real world". Overnight, Shu Min went from a smart student attending a top junior college in Singapore to being witch-hunted in cyberspace. She was hung and burnt on stake over the blogsphere despite her public apology.
I read so many comments stating that she has such an elitist view because she was born with a silver spoon and doesn't know what it is really like to have to work hard in life. I found myself pondering on a few points in this whole soap-opera-like drama. Firstly, why do we bother to lock, aim and shoot someone else's point of view? Is it important that we refute everything she says? Is it necessary to bring her to her knees over this?
She has a own value system that may differ from ours. I personally can't say I agree with her thoughts, but I don't see why I should impose my values on her. She isn't my child nor is she my younger sister. It is not in my place to "teach" her my values. If her family has that value system, and taught her just that, then it is not for us to tell her that her perspectives are wrong.
The point is this: You don't have to agree with her. But it doesn't mean you can disrespect her. You don't have to like what she says. But it doesn't mean you should argue with her, hunt her down on cyber space (to the extent of dragging up her bikini pictures) and embarrass her. Why react with anger, disappointment and disgust over someone else's view of life? Why judge her?
By being harsh and critical towards another person, we invite harshness and criticism over our own actions. If we judge another, we will automatically judge ourselves, and our loved ones as well. We open the door to suffering because we thought what we are doing or saying is right. Even if our thoughts and views may be on a higher moral ground than Shu Min's, we drag ourselves to suffer anger and criticism along with her if we are to judge her comments or her upbringing.
The fact is that we can't change her upbringing. If she is born rich, that is her fate. By being overly-critical on her life and her so-called elitist comments, we may succeed in muzzling her. But we will not change her perspectives in life that have been ingrained into the core of her value system. By arguing our well-thought-out and morally-and-politically-correct case, we succeed only in making ourselves feel superior at her expense.
You know the infamous story about pointing a finger at someone (three fingers would point back at ourselves). The truth is that if you judge someone based on what they are wearing (Gucci shoes...check, Louis Vuitton bag...check, Chanel suit...check), you will need to spend a lot of money to dress up as well. Whether you realise it or not, you are suffering. You will eventually always feel insecure whatever you wear, or always feel that you may not have enough. Similarly, if you judge someone based on the house they live in, you will always be critical over the size of your own house.
If we criticise Shu Min today, we will be criticising ourselves tomorrow. After all, we have to keep to the same moral standards that we set for others (or in some cases, we may feel we need to exceed them). Why give ourselves so much pressure? Will such conditions really spur us to grow into better people? If you rear one horse in a wide and peaceful meadow, and another in a crowded and busy city, you can probably guess which horse will be the healthier (and happier) of the two. I prefer peaceful conditions. And I wish for Shu Min, and everyone else, to find peace in their tiny little portion of this earth.
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