Turtle Channel!!!

You know, wedding plans are actually very simple if only people would let go of their need to impress others. For instance, who cares if the church is decorated with flowers and ribbons? You are only going to be in there for 1 hour, and your focus should be on God, not on the decor. Who cares about giving wedding favours? If you are there to watch the person wed, isn't that enough? Why do you need some useless stuff as a "souvenir"? As if you are actually going to keep the gift as a "remembrance of So-and-so's wedding". Most likely, the only ppl who would keep anything is the bride and her mother.

And what is the big fuss about the wedding dress? Who cares if it is made of french lace, or a normal white linen cloth, or has intricate beading, or was designed by some international designer? After 6 months, the only thing anyone will remember is the fact that it was white. In fact, ask 10 guys right after the wedding what they thought of the bride's dress and at least 9 of them will say, "isn't it white?" If they can't even notice the details of the dress, would they care to look at your shoes? And your nails? So tell me, why spend $500 on a pair of shoes that no one gives a damn about? And $60 for a manicure that no one (other than your best friend) will notice?

And wait. What is the deal with the dinner banquet? Does it have to be in a 5-star hotel, or top chinese restaurant? Do we even really need a bloody dinner with 200 guests and each person only gets to spend 5 minutes of a 4-hour dinner with the newlyweds? Who cares if the bride changes 3 times? If she's ugly, she will look ugly whatever she wears. If she is pretty, she will look pretty in what she wears. Does she really need to change 3 times? Do i really think she looks any different in a different dress? Why does dinner have to drag on until 12am just so that I can look at the bride and groom from afar?

And wait. There's more. Why do you need to spend literally hundreds and thousands of ringgit on just one day? I think it is purely selfish and that you are just paying to have your egos stroked. Why not spend all that money on something more meaningful like donating to the war victims or something? I think it would be more meaningful to write in your invitation card that there will be no big celebration except for the 1-hour church wedding. However, there will be a large donation made to a charitable organization with all your guests names on it to celebrate the wedding. Wouldn't that be something?

Seriously. I think the commercialism of weddings these days is a disease. Brides rush out to find their dream dress and try to fulfil their dream wedding without even thinking of the marriage itself. So you spend 3 months agonizing over every detail of the wedding day (which will last all of 24 hours) without spending much time agonizing over the lifetime you have to spend with the man. And after 3 months, the wedding day itself will go by very quickly. Within the week, you are just another married couple. Big deal. THat is the truth of weddings.

There are a lot more things to think about than the wedding day. There are the nitty-gritty details of two very different characters that will have to come together and gel as one. For instance, he will have to deal with a grouchy and unreasonable woman who will surface once every month (inadvertedly, it will normally be around her time-of-the-month...but it is a coincidence, really...). She will have to deal with his detachment when he's tired. He will have to deal with her obsessive compulsive tendencies. She will have to deal with his bad breath in the morning. He will have to deal with having to sleep next to someone who always steals the blanket. She will have to deal with his adversion to "have a talk".

Bottomline is, instead of spending so much time with wedding plans, we need to spend more time on marriage plans. We need to draw out our routines and chores, needs and idiosyncrisies, and learn to deal with each other whilst maintaining our individuality. I don't have to change to accommodate you. I just need to accept you and to support you. You don't have to agree that it is fun to spend money on new shoes. You just have to love me enough to shop with me and accept that I love spending my time and money that way (and occasionally stop me when i go nuts and intend to spend RM5,000 on shoes). I don't have to accept that the best way to fix the TV is to kick it. But I can let you kick it and then quietly dial for the TV repair man when you're not at home.

At the end of the day, marriage plans last until death do us part. Marriage plans will continue being planned until death do us part. Wedding plans are too short-sighted. It is nice and good if you want a have a big wedding. But think again. What's the use of having a huge celebration when your marriage might only last 2 years? Or worse, you may end up living in misery until your spouse dies. What's the meaning of such a celebration? I rather wait until I am married for 40 years before having a big wedding celebration. That way, i know what I am really celebrating.