Turtle Channel!!!

I had a dream a few weeks ago. I dreamt i died.



I was walking amidst my love ones, and they could not see me. I was looking for Ye Chow, but I couldn't find him anywhere. I wanted to say goodbye.



I saw my cousin. And strangely enough, even though no one else could see me, he could. He was not afraid of me. Instead, he talked to me for a while in a rectangular garden. Finally, Ye Chow came and I managed to see him. I went to him and he could also see me. We were sad, and we said our goodbyes but my cousin stopped me from leaving. He said to me, "Since you and Ye Chow can still see each other and speak to each other, why don't you stay on Earth with him until it is time for him to go? That way you can always be together and you don't have to wait."



I then told my cousin:



"Time is an illusion that only exists in this Earth.



I turned to Ye Chow and said:



"I will wait for you. When it is your time, I will be there. You will know it is me when you see me."



Somehow, in my mind, I knew that I would not have the same form. Yet whatever form I would take, I knew that he would recognize me when we meet even thought we will look nothing like what we do now. Time is neither long nor short, fast nor slow. It is just a boundary that will no longer exist when we are no longer bounded to this earth.



After that, I said goodbye and faded into the light.



I woke up some time later.



It was indeed a very strange dream.

* * * *



I had another strange dream a couple of nights after that. I dream Ye Chow died.



I dreamt that I was now with another man, my ex, and we were getting married (in my case, I was re-marrying). His parents and brother questioned me, and was wondering if I was ready to move on. His brother's words went something like this: "What if you still love Ye Chow and can't let go?"



I said to them:



"There is nothing to let go. He may be gone, but he lives in me. Not in memory, not in my heart, but in me. I am who I am, because of who he was. The person you see before you today is a consequence of the person Ye Chow was. He speaks in my voice when I am speaking, and I see him in myself in everyday situations. You do not let go of love and memories in order to move on. If you try, you will always be running around with your shadow chasing you, never really letting go of the past and never really moving on. Instead, I accept it, and allow it to be absorbed into my life. And then I move on.



I will always love him, even though I am with someone else. I don't see the conflict. For whoever who loves me today, indirectly loves him. And whoever I can love, is indirectly the person Ye Chow would also be able to love. The idea of "Two" does not exist anymore. He has already left this world. Why do you subject him to the same rules and boundaries as those of us who are still living on this Earth? It no longer applies to him."

* * * *



For some strange reason, this thought stayed with me until I woke up. And for some strange reason, it was like logic to me, or it seemed like I was merely stating facts when I was speaking to others in my dreams. The "facts" of the two above dreams stayed in my mind for a long time after. I have not have dreams since then.