Turtle Channel!!!

Prisoner of Birth and the Count of Monte Cristo

2009-06-19T14:10:00.001+08:00

Recently I walked into a book store and and found a brand new, latest copy of a HARD COVER Jeffrey Archer book entitled "Prisoner of Birth" for half the price of the paperback! I figured the store must be hiring idiots who labelled it wrongly....anyhow I wasn't one to pass up such a good bargain, so I bought the book, tore off the wrapping immediately, intending to read it that same night. However, between parents, dinners, housework and Nodiatis, I forgot about it until last night.

Well, I couldn't sleep last night so I strolled over to my mini library and discovered that I had not read my new book. Thus I decided to read a couple of chapters until I was tired enough to rest for the night. And I spent the next 2 hours reading the book cover-to-cover.

Main Storyline: Danny Cartwright proposes to his childhood sweetheart, Beth Wilson and she subsequently accepts. They go to a bar to celebrate, where they meet up with her brother and Danny's best friend, Bennie. What isto be a happy engagement party starts to turn into a nightmare when Spencer Craig, a young solicitor, takes a fancy to her. Beth basically doesn't respond to his flirtatious stares and gestures, which pisses him off and having imbued a not-insignificant amount of alcohol plus having the backing of his friends Toby, Gerard and Lawrence, he decides to pick a fight with Bennie and Danny. And a fight it is, in the back alley, which ended up with Bennie dying.

Danny is charged with his best friend's murder, and despite Beth's testimony, he is found guilty. After all, how could a simple mechanic beat a solicitor, handsome and popular actor (Lawrence) and aristocrat (Gerard). From here, the real story starts, with Danny meeting interesting people in prison, his subsequently release and his revenge on the people who put him there.

The plot has too many similarities with "The Count of Monte Cristo" by Alexander Dumas. In fact, Archer does make a couple of references to this book in his story.Call him a modern day Edmund Dantes if you like, but Archer's protogonist, Cartwright, is not as well formed in terms of character buildup compared Dantes. Well in Archer's defense, he used up only a quarter of the words that Dumas used to complete his work, thus one cannot expect to experience and empathise with Archer's characters compared to Dumas'

Archer's murder plot is covered up by the false witness testimony of Toby, Gerard and Lawrence, where Toby is the weakest link (a drug addict who became completely dependent on drugs by the time Cartwright was released), Spencer is a person of Law, Gerard is a pompous aristocrat and Lawrence is a charismatic and popular character.

In Dumas' book, the weakest link was Caderousse, a greedy merchant who became poor after Dantes was released, and the Lawyer was Villefort, the aristocrat was Danglers (who bought his title) and the likable man was the hero soldier, Comte de Morcerf. All of them were witnesses to the poor Dantes' accusation of treason, which meant he would be thrown into a dungeon for the rest of his life.

In both stories, the spark that ignited such an event was a fight over a girl. In Archer's book, it was a drunken folly of the solicitor, Spencer Craig, who, in one glance, decided he wanted to have a fling with Beth who is Cartwright's fiancee. He picks a fight, kills a man, and manages to get everyone to collude with him because they were part of "some secret society" called Musketeers. This is probably Archer's weakest plot in this story. I mean, HUH, u managed to convinced a bunch of friends to lie about murder because you are "All for one, and one for all" (i'm not kidding, this is quoted from the book). And as a friend, you would send an innocent man to prison because your pal is a jerk? Not bloody likely.

Dumas had a better plot: Comte de Morcerf, was then a poor fisherman who grew up in love with the beautiful Mercedez, and could not woo her from the arms of Edmund Dantes, her true love. Dantes was about to be made captain of a vessel, to the dismay of Danglers who was senior to Dantes. Morcerf, Danglers and Caderousse were having a drinks and discussing Dantes, and influenced by alcohol and anger, they wrote a letter accusing Dantes of treason. Villefort, the prosecutor, sent Dantes to prison despite knowing his innocence, because of a mild involvement with his own father, who was the real traitor!

Archer's story starts to deviate slightly when Cartwright goes to prison. The introduction of Nick (who is probably Dumas' Abbe Faria), is less convincing as a character compared to Faria. Nick is portrayed as a totally honest, straight-forward, kind and honourable soldier with an aristocratic background - and none of these traits are really common anymore to English soldiers nowadays. His interaction with Cartwright does not convince me that they can be so close to each other - to the point where Nick would leave Cartwright everything. After all, they were only sharing a cell for less than a year - with Nick being scheduled for release in a matter of months. it's not at all the way Dumas' Faria and Dantes forged a friendship - in a dungeon where they lived for several years in isolation, never meeting another human other than the jailer until Faria dug a hole to Dantes' cell by mistake. Both imprisoned for what would be a life sentence - both trying to dig their way out of an impregnable prison, both never hearing or seeing another human voice other than each other and the jailer...for YEARS - This is what real friendships are made of.

I do promise you, Archer's plot does improve after Cartwright was released (I won't tell you HOW he was released, you will need to buy the book for that). The subsequent revenge exacted and reunion with Beth was touching. I must admit that Dumas does overplay the revenge bit to the point where it becomes a bit cheesy. In this sense, Archer wins. However Dumas has much better surrounding characters compared to Archer, whose Sarah Davenport, Alex Redmayne and Fraser Munro were not given all too much attention and one barely feels in touch with those characters.

Nevertheless the book is quite interesting and would probably receive more favourable reviews had it not been a less than shining rendition of the Count of Monte Cristo. Prisoner of Birth, simply speaking, is not in the same class as the Count of Monte Cristo. I, personally, am a fan of Archer, and many of his books grace my mini library. However, his latest work is a poor copy of Dumas, and certainly not in the same level of distinction compared to to his earlier writings such as Honour among Thieves.

Silhouette

2009-05-26T11:21:00.001+08:00

Twirling with the wind,
Longing for just a gaze
Like a flower blown away from the tree
Gone is the warmth of the days
Let me fall into your garden
And bloom just beyond your window
And when the sun sets each night
I'll see your silhouette casted in the light

-Mel-

Registration of Marriage

2008-09-09T16:01:00.011+08:00

This is really something that happened more than a year ago, but I thought I should finally blog it! Due to a combination of laziness and busy-ness, I never really got around to writing about my wedding. But over a year later, the joys of the day suddenly came back to me, and I decided to revisit all the photos taken on that day. Now only did I realise that in my haziness, i never sent any of the photos to my beloved friends :D

I never slept the night before I registered my marriage. It was really something to think about. One day I was single, and the next, no more...

Lucky for me, I had Marilyn, Shirley and Guoy who made sure I didn't put on my Nike shoes and do a "Runaway Bride" on YC. On the day of my registration, I had eyes of a PANDA. Nevertheless, I put on my best cheongsam (Chinese Dress) made of french lace and did my hair up using an Evita Peroni pin. Daddy was up by4am, and had showered by 5am. Breakfast was bought at 6am from the market. We had a light breakfast since I couldn't eat much due to nerves.

Daddy and I in the front porch - his tie is colour-coordinated with my dress!

When I got to the St. Francis Xavier church, YC and his family were already there and waiting.

YC and I with his family - for some reason, his sis and mom has matching blouses

Anyway, we entered the office where the Commissioner of Marriage - or whatever his job title is- was waiting. He works very slowly and carefully...

We took our vows...(to be honest, i was quite nervous when taking the vows...hehehe)

I thought ladies always went first, but it seems, the man gets to sign the marriage certificate first :( MALE CHAUVINISM!!!

We are now officially husband and wife - that is, after the Commissioner signs the document.

So we all had to wait while the guy (the one with the shiny head) checked all the signatures and identity cards. Meanwhile, Shirley was falling asleep...HAHAHA

OK, now we're officially married. At least in the eyes of the law!

I was really happy to have my Kai Ma there with me. She really is very important in my life. She's always there for all the pinnacles of my achievements and joys, and very supportive when I am down. She's a beautiful woman and a wonderful person to have! I feel so blessed!

Me and my new family. Yes, I was moving in with them! OMG OMG. Actually today, we already have our own home. But when we just got marriedm, we had stayed with them for more than half a year!

My very supportive friends. For some reason, Marily and I are always seen in pink?

Yey, the big tree!!

Anyway, that's it for my registration. It wasn't too scary. We had breakfast in delifrance after that. Of course, I can't remember what I ate exactly. Maybe Marilyn would know? Did anyone take any pictures?

Transforming a House into a Home Episode 1: From a Balcony to a Floating Room

2008-07-07T10:43:00.009+08:00

I have always liked to work on big projects slowly. It gives me time to plan, optimise my choices (Cost vs. Practicality vs. Aesthetics), decorate and ENJOY.

I never did like having balconies in the house because I am too lazy to clean anything outdoors. That would explain why my front porch is in a pathetic condition...I have not cleaned it since I moved in!!! Oh well, it can't be helped, we have a BIG porch. It's just too much trouble to clean! I figured I would start cleaning it once we get to decorating the porch. Anyway, having a balcony is a tropical country is not too wise because 90% of the time it is too damn hot to sit in the balcony during the day. And at nights if you sit there, the chances of getting bitten by a gazillion mosquitoes is 100%.

Hence, we transformed our balcony to a meditation/tea room. We call it the "Floating Room" simply because it "floats" over the garden.

What started out as a Balcony with a View...

...became an enclosed room with a full frontal view of the 4 acre park

Sliding doors were removed and replaced with a carved wooden frame. A Bamboo mat covers the cold tiles and lace curtains frame the room

A carved teak table, white Zen stones, 3 bamboo vases, floor cushions and table decor transforms the simple room into a relaxation area that can be used for meditation, reading or simply enjoying a cup of tea

With a small bamboo table, scented candles and a bible, the Floating Room also serves as a prayer room

Cost:

1. Walls on left and right side of the balcony, windows and grills, paint~ 1800

2. Removing sliding door and replacing with carved wooden frame ~ 800

3. Bamboo mat ~ 100

4. Carved teak table ~ 300

5. Cushions. bamboo vases flowers ~ 40

6. White Zen stones ~ 45

7. Bomboo table and scented candles ~ 75

8. Lace curtains and curtain rail ~ 40

Total Cost : $3200

And this, my friends, is the first episode of Transforming a House into a Home. Stay tuned for more miraculous transformations...

End of Chinese New Year

2008-02-24T16:21:00.002+08:00

Finally the Spring Festival aka Chinese New Year is over. We had 15 days of eating and eating, and now I really feel sick.

It's really no joke. I had big dinner and lunches almost everyday for 2 weeks...a far cry from my normal diet of tofu, cabbage, lettuce and 2 pieces of chicken. I can't even stand up any more. I have gained 3 pounds...

I'm so tired of eating. The worse one was the Feb 13-16 stretch. It was my Mother's birthday on Feb 13, and we took her out for western meal (since she wanted steak). We ended up eating really too much for our own good. Then Feb 14, we had a 4 course vegetarian Val's day meal: starting with fruit cocktail with honey lemon and berrys, multi-grain cream soup, vegetarian spagetti and mocha almond fudge with Hershey's syrup and FRESH cherries. I cooked, of course :) and the cherries were obsolutely delicious! It was my first time eating cherries and I relaly enjoyed them :) Can't wait for next season ^.^

Feb 15 was my niece's birthday, and we travelled to my sister-in-law's husband's house in Cheras for her 1st birthday. We were in Melbourne this time last year when She was born, and it was nice seeing her again after a year. Anyhow, we had another huge meal that gave me indigestion that night. Feb 16 was my Mother-in-law's birthday and she hosted an open house for her relatives. I spent the morning cooking and preparing some food for the evening. We ended up with a hugeamount of leftovers (some of which are still in my freezer).

Anyhow, we had eaten more than our fair share of food for more than 2 weeks. It will be hard going back to the normal diet, but I think it is a good thing. My tummy cannot keep up with my mouth, I am afraid...

Anniversary Vs. Broke

2008-01-24T16:38:00.000+08:00

Ahhh.....almost one year...it will be one full year of marriage this Sunday. On Friday, we're going for a dinner in Sheraton. Thank Goodness that will be paid for. Otherwise, we won't be able to afford an anniversary dinner ^.^

Actually, it's quite funny. We're totally hopeless at planning our finances because we do things completely differently from each other. It's only until now, when we are both having negative income (for two months now), that we realised somehow our individual methods are not working out quite like before. I know, I know...it's obvious to anyone who's reading this that finances should be discussed thoroughly...but it's not easy to discuss it thoroughly if you don't first experience it together!!! Anyway, it's quite refreshing to have a financial plan that we both can follow through with.

So on our actual Anniversary (Sunday), I guess I'll have to cook something and light a few candlelights...perhaps I can run a bath and light a few more candles in there too....AND, staying by the lake has its advantages since we can take an evening walk and watch the sun set at the lake before dinner...makes for a rather romantic environment.

Hmm...I guess I should have enough small change to buy some roses at the market to brighten up the place also! Huzzah!!!

The ant, the grasshopper and the turtle

2008-01-11T15:47:00.000+08:00

The grasshopper lazed around all summer, hopping and singing. When winter came, he starved to death. The ant, on the other hand, worked all summer storing food. When winter came and food was scarce, he had plenty to survive on. Yet despite the cold and forlorn weather, he went out anyway in search of more food to store up.

His life seemed filled with excitement. On a good day, he may stumble upon a huge chunk of meat left behind by a young child who didn't want to finish dinner. During that time, he will rush from his nest to the meat, and back again...and again...and again...until the meat is completely stripped and all the food is safely stored. On a bad day, he will battle the cold while sniffing the air in search for some trace of food. He may hunt up to 20 miles from his nest, fighting the danger of being stomped by a passing human or being eaten up by one of his enemies, or even accidental drowning in a puddle of melted snow. Everyday, his life is full of excitement, until he has ceased to enjoy any of the excitement. It is all boring to him in the end, all lost in the pursue of more food.

The turtle sleeps comfortably in his shell, getting up only to search for some vegetation before going back into its shell. Occasionally, he searches for a warm spot of sun to sit under, or if the weather is warm, he searches for a shady tree to hide under. He learns to live in a bit of boredom, and when it is time to search for food or water, he will embrace the excitement for a while.

To be perpetually idle would make one too bored...and when one is too bored, one is prone to destrucive activities. After all, an idle mind is a devil's workshop. Yet, to be perpetually excited would make one numb to the adventure, which is a disease that seems to afflict modern society. One would need more and more excitement to stimulate oneself, and a bit of boredom or quiet seems unbearable. Yet, all the excitement will become boring in itself, and infest itself in an unendurable ennui for life which destroys the soul of youthfulness. By understanding the law of balance and accepting that boredom, like excitement is part of natural life, excitement can be enjoyed to the fullest.

Simple life? Or not?

2008-01-08T16:26:00.000+08:00

Somedays I wonder if life passes me by too quickly. And somedays I wonder if life passes me by too slowly.

The day my self-conciousness fell, it became clear that the only person who notices my comings and goings is me. Like the gnat who lands on the bulls horn, one's own importance is only evident to oneself.

I started to see life passing by in different speeds. Sometimes when watching the ambitious man work, I see him working towards a goal that never seems to be attainable. Is he driven? Probably. But is he happy? Often the answer is negative. The drive that compels him to efficiency and effectiveness pushes him to greater heights, but he is too busy looking forward to fully enjoy the sights. He is rewarded for his efforts, but he punishes himself for his success with more work.

The one who appears to enjoy life fully lives in idleness. Day by day passes into another, slowly, like a dream that never ends. Leisure shopping one afternoon fades into a workout in the gym, coffee in a hotel lounge and entertainment in the local bar. The determination to enjoy life is so strong, that one barely enjoys it at all. A life that forces itself upon enjoyment will live only to seek more enjoyment, never to be truly satisfied with the current moment nor truly be happy in their own skin.

Yet, the pursuit of happiness is not for anyone else's pleasure but one's own. It is not to show others that one is happy. Calmness and happiness is not a decision nor a concious effort to hide the dissatisfaction and burst of unnatural energy. It is a state of mind.

The only person who notices my comings and goings, failures and successes is myself. No one else really cares. Hence, there lies my happiness.

7 Wonders of Bolehland

2007-12-21T09:34:00.000+08:00

Bodohland: Organisers have recently announced that they have elected the seven < http://www.new7wonders.com/ new wonders of the world. The finalists include Great Wall of China and Taj Mahal. Not to be outdone here in Bolehland or Can-land (some call this Bodohland or Stupid-land), our Prime Minister follows up with an announcement of our very own 7 wonders. All qualified citizens can submit their choices of wonders and finalists will be determined by popular votes.

1. THE ZAKARIA 'PALACE'

The only building built with no approval and unpaid assessment fees that is not demolished and sealed. The owner is the first bankrupt to be able to own a palace.

2. THE ISA - INSANE SECURITY ACCUSATIONS

Supposedly used to "detain" terrorist for up to two years with absolutely no proof, this fantastic Wonder will give you the power to "detain" ABSOLUTELY anyone the guy in power dislikes: anyone who threatens his political power or is a rape accuser of some MP's son can be "held" for up to 2 years. You don't have to even show any evidence of the accusation. Just hack up some insane charge of terrorism of a 15 year old rape accuser, and "detain" her until she is 17. Or throw the Opposition leaders in when they get too powerful and accuse them of having some ties with the Arab terrorist, even if they are Chinese or Indian. It's ingenius!

3. 'UNHAUNTED' KUCHING PRISON

"No picture available"

The only $600M prison in this world that is free of haunted stories and encounters. Reasons? No execution was done here before. In fact no prisoners were held in here. There are also no concrete walls with barbed wires to contain souls - both dead and alive. Maybe it can qualify as the first imaginary prison built with real money.

4. PAYA INDAH 'WASTED' WETLANDS

The nation's premier eco tourism park. Holds the record in the category of attracting more lawyers with litigation than tourists with binoculars.

5. 'NOT SO' SMART TUNNEL
Uniquely design to alleviate floods. When completed, it does everything except alleviate floods.

6. 'DISCONNECTED' CYBERJAYA

The one and only high tech city in the world that offers limited or no internet connection to its residents.

7. THE 'CROOKED' BRIDGE

The most crooked bridge in the world dreamt by one of the most crooked people in the world. The bridge connects Bolehland to its neighbouring country. Construction started even though the neighbouring country did not give approval for the crooked bridge to be built to their land. Too bad the project was abandoned; otherwise it will make it as one of the wonders of the world.

Saying goodbye...

2007-12-07T11:51:00.000+08:00

Last Sunday, we buried my Ah Kong (pronounced as "gone-ng" not "goong"). He is my grandfather.

I never spoke to my Ah Kong. That's because he only spoke Hokkien, which I completely suck at. Instead, he made funny faces at me and used sign language to convey his meaning. His favourite question to me when I was young was "Chiak Liao Bo?" which translates to "Have you eaten?".

Ah Kong was a very nice man. A very easy man to love, in fact. He had no grudges, and never caused any trouble for anyone. He said "ho" (yes) to everything, had absolutely no demands and was pretty much accepting of anything that came his way. My grandmother would pretty much nag him all day long, but it had absolutely no effect on him. It goes into one ear, and literally comes out the other. He doesn't remember any scolding, any nagging or anything unpleasant. In fact, he was such an easy-going, nice fella that many people called him stupid. Of course, calling him stupid didn't upset him in any way. He would just say "ho" and go about his merry way.

His greatest pleasure in life was eating. He loved fried chicken, praticularly from KFC. Even when he had lost all his teeth, he would use his gums to chew the chicken. Eventually, due to all the unhealthy food, he suffered a stroke in the year 2000, which paralysed his left side.

I couldn't recognise the thin man as my granddad. In my mind, he was still chubby with a head full of hair. I never noticed that his hair was thinning and that he was losing a lot of weight. In the year 2002, he suffered another stroke that paralysed much of his right side. He could no longer eat any solid food, for he could not chew. When he spoke, no one could understand what he was saying except my grandmother.

He met my spouse in 2006. Since my spouse can speak Hokkien, they had a conversation about the lorry his used to drive when he was younger. The number plate of the lorry was 5105. I remember this well, because he struggled for over 10 minutes to tell my spouse the number plate, and no one could understand him. Finally, it became apparent that he was struggling to say "goh-ih-kong-goh" (5-1-0-5), which was not easy because he couldn't move his mouth muscles. He was trying to relate the stories from the time my grandmother and him were running a grocery shop in Penang, where he would carry huge rice sacks onto his lorry and deliver them to his customers. My grandmother ended up telling most of the stories and we had a good laugh.

He sat up to receive the customary tea during my wedding early this year. That was the last time he would sit up again. After that, Ah Kong deteriorated and became thinner. He could no longer get up. During his last week in this world, he could not even speak. He finally passed away on Friday 30 November 2007.

I got the SMS from Daddy in the afternoon, while taking care of my spouse in the hospital. Ah Kong, my Ah Kong, passed away.

I have not cried in a funeral quite like that before. I cried over everything. From the time I saw him in the coffin until the time we laid him into the ground. Normally I would just shed a few tears. This time, I could not stop crying. Ah Kong, gentle Ah Kong, was gone. In death, he still looked like he was about to say "ho". A nice guy to the end. The easiest person in the world to love. God will have mercy on him, for he deserves none other. Goodbye my Ah Kong. I will see you again someday.

VERY Bad news for this week

2007-11-30T22:40:00.000+08:00

Dear Friends and family,

My spouse had a fever from Monday to Thursday. We went to the clinic on Monday and he was precribed the usual antibiotics. Unfortunately, the fever persisted so I took him to the clinic for a blood test on Thursday. His blood platlet was rather low, hence he was warded on Thursday evening.

I stayed with him until 11pm and went back to my in-laws house to rest since it is nearer to the hospital compared to my house. At 3.00am, I woke up with rashes all over my body. I had to go to the clinic (4th time this week, but the first three times were for my spouse) to get a diagnosis. I was allergic to something. Anyway I am currently on medication, but it was hell trying to sleep that night because my body was itchy like it was on fire.

I only slept at 5.00am and awoke at 8.00am to see my spouse in the hospital. His blood platlet fell again, and his fever is persisting. At approximately 3.00pm, my Dad contacted me on my handphone with more bad news. My grandad just died. He was sent for embalming that afternoon. There will be a service tomorrow at 8.00pm and his funeral at 10.00am on Sunday. I will be with my spouse until dinnertime tomorrow, and then I will rush off to pay my last respects to my grandad. After his funeral on Sunday, I will have to rush back to the hospital to keep a close watch on my spouse's condition.

It is now Friday at 10.45 pm. I have just gotten back from the hospital. My back is starting to itch again, and I fear my rashes will return with a vengeance tonight. I have slept for 3 hours in the last 36 hours. I may not get any sleep tonight either, if the rashes persist. I am tired due to lack of sleep, in grief for my grandad, worried sick over my spouse and itchy from my rashes.

It has been a very bad week. We were supposed to go to Cherating next week, and Pangkor the week after next. It was supposed to be a well-deserved holiday for the stress, hard work and long hours we were putting for the past few months. Now all we have is more stress and anxiety. But we will pull through. I must remain strong for my spouse and family. Somehow, God will give me the strength. For now is not the time to feel sorry for oneself or to grief. Now is the time to work and be of service to those in need. There will be time to lament and cry when all is well again.

Why has the palace protocol been broken?

2007-11-19T15:08:00.000+08:00

Recent statement from the Datuk Pengelola Bijaya Diraja Istana Negara, Datuk Wan Mohd Safiain Wan Hasan who has spoken on behalf of the Agong has disappointed many Malaysian who showed up for the BERSIH march. No one is sure of what to expect next.

Yet...Datuk Pengelola Bijaya Diraja Istana Negara is not the Keeper of the Royal Seal. Understand the Royal protocol: The Agong, our King, DOES NOT speak for himself to the press. He cannot, not even for a simple announcement. He must speak through the Keeper of the Royal Seal. Another weird thing is that the Datuk Pengelola Bijaya is an UMNO member!

It does appear strange that the Keeper of the Royal Seal was not the one to make the announcement that apparently comes from our Agong.

Why has the palace protocol been broken? Why did the Keeper of the Royal Seal not speak to the press regarding his Majesty's announcement? Why is the Head of Housekeeping and UMNO member, Datuk Pengelola Bijaya Diraja Istana Negara speaking instead?

Also...why is it that the people in BERSIH rally are marching towards the King instead of Prime Minister?

The situation is strange and I am feeling very uneasy about the coming elections. It feels as though there are two powerful sides in Malaysian politics: The royal side, and the UMNO side. Where do I, as a non-Malay, stand?

Yet, it is in our National Principles to be loyal to the King, not the Prime Minister. It is written that our constitution be upheld, which is currently (and constantly) being abused by some guys in UMNO Putera. We are to be courteous and sopan, unlike some chief minister, and vice president of UMNO who told us Chinese to return to China, and another politician from UMNO Putera who waved a jagged-edge knife told us that he is willing to bathe in Chinese blood to protect the special rights given to Malays.

In our Rukun Negara, the National Principles of Malaysia, it is written:

KEPERCAYAAN KEPADA TUHAN
KESETIAAN KEPADA RAJA DAN NEGARA
KELUHURAN PERLEMBAGAAN
KEDAULATAN UNDANG-UNDANG
KESOPANAN DAN KESUSILAAN

BELIEF IN GOD
LOYALTY TO KING AND COUNTRY
THE SUPREMACY OF THE CONSTITUTION
THE RULE OF LAW
COURTESY AND MORALITY

UMNO is not God. Not King. Not Country. Not the people who wrote the constitution. They are not above the law. And many of them are certainly not courteous if you are a non-Malay. So I guess, if I had to choose between UMNO side and the royal side, I will be right to choose the royal side. At least, it is clearly stated that I should be loyal to my king.

When Malays are forced to vote one way or another, it will be The Agong who gets their vote. And you need a Malay mind to understand this, not an Oxford-trained, brown-skinned Englishman.

Daulat, Daulat, Daulat Tuanku. Long live our Majesty. Long live our king.

Let our king, our Agong, our Majesty speak. This time, we hope to hear from the Keeper of the Royal Seal.

Did she see the tunnel?

2007-11-19T13:07:00.000+08:00

Amiruldin Badruddin: "Did she see the tunnel?"

The debate speech on Air Asia's flight attendance uniforms in the UMNO assembly led to an exchange between Zaleha and chairperson Badruddin Amiruldin.

Zaleha: The provocative uniform must be changed to something reflective of Eastern values and which complies with the values of Islam.

Badruddin (photo): I think their skirts are too short.

Zaleha: Cloth can be bought.

Badruddin: I think they don’t have enough cloth.

Zaleha pressed her point further by relating how the uniform had ‘affected’ one of her friends, leading Badruddin to pass another cheeky remark.

Zaleha: She said a flight attendant sat in front of her and she could see her legs, thighs and knees. She was so embarrassed!

Badruddin: Did she see the tunnel?

Air Asia Uniforms...too sexy?

Ali Rustam: Chinese and Indians can leave Malaysia and go back to China and India for all I care!!

2007-11-19T12:35:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer:

This article was taken from MalaysiaToday (http://forum.malaysiatoday.com/index.php?showtopic=237)
This is posted in my blog not to diss the Malaysian Government. In fact, I have high regard for Malaysia and the administration. I just don't like Ali Rustam. Just read what he says. I doubt you will like him much either.

Ali Rustam: Even God can’t sink Umno, By Raja Petra, 19 Oct 2007
This ship in unsinkable, even God Himself can’t sink it!” screamed the newspaper headlines just before the Titanic sailed off on its maiden voyage.

The sinking of the Titanic was certainly a great tragedy. They were so confident that even God Himself could never sink it they did not provide enough lifeboats for every passenger because they never thought they would need them. While the higher-paying first class passengers faced no problems finding a seat in the limited lifeboats, the poor rakyat who could not afford the luxuries accorded the first class passengers only had one choice; a watery grave. But it was not a tragedy for everyone though. Decades later they made a movie about the incident and grossed hundreds of millions while Celine Dion made tons of money from the theme song.

Anyway, what does this whole episode teach us? First, the poor rakyat is always at the bottom of the food chain. Second, never tempt fate. Fate just loves challenges and will never shy away from proving you wrong. And this is something Umno should learn. But Umno being Umno, it will never take advantage of lessons of the past. It will keep repeating history to the detriment of the party. And today Umno is saying that even God Himself can’t sink the party.

On 15 October 2007, the Chief Minister of Melaka, Mohd Ali Rustam, officiated the People’s Progressive Party’s state convention and he sang the same old tune, Umno is unsinkable and even God Himself can’t sink the party. Okay, maybe I am exaggerating a bit what he said, but this was what he was telling the assembly of PPP leaders and members in a very long-winded manner; one and a half hours to be exact.

Ali Rustam, the self-proclaimed ‘Senior Vice President’ of Umno -- actually there is no such post but he likes to address himself as such -- stood on stage in front of the entire hall filled with PPP leaders and members and with fingers pointed said that PPP can leave Barisan Nasional. Leave today, or even tomorrow, said Ali Rustam, just don’t wait for the next election before leaving.

The PPP President and Deputy Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department, Datuk M. Kayveas, fidgeted in his seat, as did the entire hall. Ali Rustam was going berserk. He was reminiscent of Adolf Hitler jumping up and down, ranting and raving like a dog foaming at the mouth that had gone mad with rabies. Nobody reacted. Nobody could react. They were all too shocked to react and just sat there for the next one and a half hours as Ali Rustam told PPP and the entire non-Malay population of Malaysia that they are insignificant and Umno does not need them.

Ever wonder why Nazri Aziz told the Agong off and declared that he is nothing more than the Prime Minister’s clerk? The Prime Minister decides and the Agong just signs like a good little boy or else he will get sent to bed without any ice cream. Such is the arrogance of Umno. And if there were any doubts before this, 15 October 2007 laid that matter to rest once and for all when Ali Rustam repeated numerous times, “I was with Najib yesterday,” as if to send the message to all and sundry that he has Najib’s blessing to tell the Indians and Chinese that they can go back to India and China for all Umno cares.

Umno has ruled Malaysia for 50 years, said Ali Rustam, and they can rule for another 50 years more. And Umno does not need PPP, MCA, MIC, Gerakan, Sabah, Sarawak or anyone else to do this. Yes; and even God Himself can’t sink Umno like He could not sink the Titanic.

Ali Rustam should not tempt God or fate or whatever it is that he believes in. Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad is fond of relating the story of the mistake he made in 1969 when he told the Chinese he does not need their votes. 3,000 Chinese swung to PAS, said Mahathir. And Yusuf Rawa won that seat while the Grand Old Man of Malaysian politics was sent into temporary retirement. Even the great and very confident Mahathir will caution you about telling the non-Malay voters that you don’t need them. And surely Mahathir is a bigger man than Ali Rustam.

Well, that is probably what we think. But Ali Rustam does not think this way at all. He thinks he is the Chief Minister of the greatest nation on earth. Melaka is not part of Malaysia, said Ali Rustam, Malaysia is part of Melaka. This may sound strange to a student of history, and to ensure that you get a new twist to history, Ali Rustam warned the assembly that Melaka was once a great empire that included half of Thailand and half of Indonesia.

I thought that maybe in my old age my memory was beginning to fail me so I flipped through the pages of Joginder Singh Jessy’s and D.J. Muzaffar Tate’s ‘History of Malaya’ but could not find any reference to this. Maybe it is true, as they say, history is written by the victor, not the vanquished. But I was reading the history books written by Malayans and not those written by the Orang Puteh such as Stamford Raffles, R.O. Winsted, Barbara Watson, Leonard Y. Andaya or J. Kennedy.

Anyway, that just goes to show I am not really as clever as I thought I was. There are still many things about Malayan history that I am not aware of. And one thing that I was not aware of was that Melaka had once upon a time colonised half of Thailand and half of Indonesia. I suppose this is why Ali Rustam is the ‘Senior Vice President’ of Umno and I am not. In fact, Ali Rustam is so clever he can become the ‘Senior Vice President’ of Umno even when no such post exists.

Umno does not need any of the component members of Barisan Nasional, Ali Rustam went on. Umno has four million members and it can win the elections without the help of the rest of the component members of Barisan Nasional. Umno has been strong for 50 years and it will continue ruling this country for the next 50 years as well, Ali Rustam assured the assembly of PPP leaders and members.

PPP had better not ask for any seat in Melaka, Ali Rustam warned the assembly. If Perak wants to allow PPP a seat then that is up to the Perak Menteri Besar. That is his own decision and the party does not support him on this matter. After all the Perak Menteri is a kaki bodek, said Ali Rustam to the shocked audience who could not believe they were hearing all this.

Maybe PPP was once a strong party, Ali Rustam added. When it joined Barisan Nasional it had four Parliament and 14 state seats, but that is an old story. Why bring up an old story? It is like Lee Kuan Yew talking about old stories. Now Ali Rustam was shifting his aim to the Island State south of the border, across the Causeway. Lee Kuan Yew is an old man, argued Ali Rustam, insinuating that the Grand Old Man of Singapore was getting senile, and he is illogical. And to emphasis the point, Ali Rustam repeated, “Yesterday I was with Najib,” as if to drive the point home that Najib is with him on this.

The punch-line that Ali Rustam wanted to deliver the assembly of PPP leaders and members is that the party is not going to be given any seat in Melaka. And to demonstrate that he meant business he asked PPP to leave Barisan Nasional. Leave now! What are you waiting for? Leave now! You want a seat is it? No seat for you! Who says Umno needs the component members, especially PPP? PPP means nothing to us. Leave now.

And as if what he had said thus far was not shocking enough, Ali Rustam took a swipe at the Pahang Menteri Besar. If the Pahang Menteri Besar wants to give you a seat in Pahang then that is his problem. He is crazy and he does crazy things. He can give PPP a seat in Pahang. Why ask from the other states? And the icing on the cake was when Ali Rustam said that if the Prime Minister gives PPP a seat then he has no balls (pengecut). Tak boleh ikut cara dia, Ali Rustam boldly declared. Yes, since Malaysia is part of Melaka and not Melaka that is part of Malaysia then this would certainly make sense.

Until today no one knows what triggered Ali Rustam’s outburst that 15 October 2007. It was as if the message to the Indians and Chinese is that Umno does not need them anymore. The latest poll shows that the non-Malay support for Barisan Nasional has gone below 50% while the Malay support is still above 70%. This would mean that the non-Malay parties in Barisan Nasional may not be able to deliver the votes if the general election is held within the next month or so.

Ali Rustam seems to feel that Umno ruled Malaysia for 50 years without any help or support from the non-Malays and they can continue to do so another 50 years without any problems. Of late Ali Rustam has been demonstrating his contempt for the non-Malays. His move to kill the pigs in Melaka and drive the Chinese pig farmers out of business is one case in point. He boasted to all and sundry that he wants to show the Chinese that he is the boss, something his predecessors were not able to and did not dare do. The pig farmers and their family and friends command a lot of votes and it is better that the government leaves them alone. All the Chief Ministers before this adopted this policy but Ali Rustam wanted to show them that he decides and he calls the shots. And this is what he told the PPP convention that 15 October, “I decide.”

Ali Rustam believes that the Prime Minister will announce the dissolution of Parliament on 9 November followed by the general election on 25 November. If this happens then the Chinese would be with the opposition. Ali Rustam realises that how much you may court the Chinese it would be futile. Therefore, since you cannot get their support anyway, you might as well whack them. It makes no difference anyway.

Of course, many would ask why whack the Chinese? Well, PPP in Melaka is led by a Chinese and it would be Chinese and not Indians who matter, though the Indian support for PPP is nevertheless strong since it has a large Indian membership.

This is Ali Rustam’s version of keris waving. The fact that he repeated many times, “I was with Najib yesterday,” was his way of telling the world that he is Najib’s de facto number two. This means if Najib goes up to become the Prime Minister then he would be the Deputy Prime Minister. To become the number two in Umno is not up to the voters. It is up to the Umno divisions. So he must come out looking like a Malay hero from Melaka a la Hang Toh Ah and Hang Jer Baht, never mind that these two may have been Chinese rather than Malays. And this ranting and raving about Melaka once being an empire that ruled over half of Thailand and half of Indonesia fit nicely into the theme. But Ali Rustam probably thought that Kayveas and his PPP members are all illiterate rubber tappers who never read history when he said that Malaysia is part of Melaka and not Melaka that is part of Malaysia.

But why the need to repeat so many times that he was with Najib the day before? Everytime he dropped a bombshell he would add that he was with Najib the day before. What was his message here? Was it that he was delivering Najib’s message or that Najib has endorsed what he is saying? Or is it to demonstrate that he is Najib’s number two?

Anyway, whatever it may be, Ali Rustam has made it very clear that Umno does not need anyone. Umno has managed 50 years without depending on anyone and it can carry on another 50 years without them. Is this Ali Rustam’s or Najib’ message: that if the component members do not deliver the votes then they will be kicked out of Barisan Nasional? When MCA did badly in 1969 it was proposed they leave the Alliance Party since the Chinese no longer support them. The only difference this time around is that Umno is telling them before instead of after the general election.

There is much speculation on who will be Najib’s Deputy when he takes over as Prime Minister. This question has been satisfactorily answered on 15 October 2007. Ali Rustam made it clear that he and not the Prime Minister makes the decisions. As far as Ali Rustam is concerned the Prime Minister pengecut, the Perak Menteri Besar is kaki bodek while the Pahang Menteri Besar is gila who does crazy things. Yes, that leaves only him remaining as the most suitable candidate to become the next Deputy Prime Minister of Malaysia.

Hmm.....should I seriously consider migrating?

From Ben Stein

2007-10-23T15:54:00.000+08:00

Herewith at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating heart:

I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important? I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is, either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.

Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are. Is this what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.

Next confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?

I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

Sam, the Doritos-loving Seagull

2007-10-23T15:42:00.000+08:00

Sam is a seagull. He's not just any seagull. He's a seagull with a penchant for Doritos. In fact, he loves it so much that he steals it from the shop every week. He's got the stealing down to a fine art. First, he waits to see that there's no one around. Then he checks to see that the store employee is behind the till : too far to run after him. Finally, he quickly darts in, grabs a bag of Doritos (and makes sure it is Cheese Doritos) and darts back out again!

He only likes the cheese-flavoured Doritos. Here's a video of Sam in action:

Wayang Kulit (Puppetry) and the Philharmonic Orchestra

2007-09-11T14:42:00.000+08:00

Wayang Kulit or Shadow Puppetry

Malaysia decided to put together a very weird combination. They integrated the traditional Wayang Kulit (Shadow Puppetry) with the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra. They were very proud of their achievement. But to be honest, it was one of the worst performances that I have ever attended.

When Hinduism came to the Islands of Java (Indonesia) and eventually to Peninsular Malaysia, its myths and beliefs were spread through folktale and stories. The spread of the religion through stories from Hindu books and epics eventually evolved into a song and story-telling theatre together with the beating of drums and Wayang Kulit was born. Here, audiences are entertained with stories mostly from Mahabhrata Ramayana. The Wayang Kulit is an absolutely beautiful synergy of Hinduism and Indonesian/Malaysian culture.

A few days ago, Malaysians ruined it by combining it with the philharmonic orchestra.

MPO

I'm sure they thought it was a great idea.

The trouble was that the rough voice of the puppet master and his tunes were very out of synch with the humming of the cello and twanging of the violin. The theatre hymns were obviously influenced from Indian and Indonesian culture, and the stories were told in a rough and excited Kelantanese dialect. The traditional musical instruments used by the puppet master were drums and wind instruments that sounded very off-key when played together with flutes, violins and harps.

The resulting effort was nothing more than noise. Awful noise, I might add. Drums that don't match, violin that robbed the beauty of the singing and turning it into the awful yowling of a cat, story-telling that made the cello the most stupid-sounding instrument in the world..and the list goes on. The Wayang Kulit itself morphed into nothing more than an annoyance, and all the orchestra music sounded worse than my 8-year-old cousin on the piano (he has never taken classes...so you can only imagine what I have to put up with every time he comes for a visit).

The worst thing is that MPO was arrogant enough to put their entire orchestra IN FRONT of the small white screen where the Wayang Kulit was shown, so our show was partially occluded by the heads of the violinists and the rearend of the conductor. I was sorely tempted to remove my stilettos and hurl it with all my might at the conductor's head. Why in the world would they think we rather watch the conductor's behind than the screen where the Wayang Kulit was showing? Insanity perhaps? Or plain arrogance? Or did they think the conductor beared some sort of a resemblance to Brad Pitt?

Thankfully the ordeal ended in 20 minutes followed by an intermission. After the short break, the orchestra played some good music (without the Wayang Kulit, Thank the Lord!). Unfortunately, the botched Wayang Kulit show was still fresh in everyone's mind, causing the applause at the end to be rather half-hearted. I think everyone else, like me, was still too traumatised by the earlier performance to remember to clap their hands.

Never again. Unesco would have pulled back their Masterpiece of Oral and Intangible Heritage of Humanity award (given to Wayang Kulit on 7 November 2003) if this was their first and only experience of the art. Absolutely Dreadful.

Thursday Birthday and Sunday Shopping

2007-09-09T23:55:00.000+08:00

It was Daddy's birthday last Thursday, 6 September 2007. We bought a teeny weeny little round chocolate mint cake that is just enough for one. Since Chow and Mom doesn't eat cake, we needed something that can be finished by 2 people. The cake was really cute and Daddy loved it. We gave him a year's supply of chocolate for his birthday :) Mom got Daddy a really special birthday present: a 2 week pilgramage to Jerusalem and Egypt. Dad was absolutely delighted with the present, which is really meaningful for him because of all the religious study he has been doing in tha pats 2 years!!!!

Sunday was a pretty special day. Clinique had some sort of makeup event whereby you get a free makeover. The makeup consultants will also give some makeup know-hows and participants will get to take home 2 free gifts: an eye cream and a lip gloss. Since the makeup, consultance and gifts were absolutely free I made an appointment for myself and Mom.

We had Daddy dropped us off at 3pm in Mid Valley Mall, and made our way to the Clinique show stand. It was set up in the North Court. There, we were ushered to our seats and had our makeup consultants work on us. My consultant wanted to know what was the eye shadow colour that I normally used. Hearing that I normally apply browns, nudes or pinks, she suggested that I try something new: Purple. I was a little apprehensive, but I tried it anyway just to humour her.

We spent 15 minutes. She applied makeup on half my face, and I was to apply on the other half under her instructions. Step-by-step, I learnt how to contour my eyes, use eye-liner and blusher and basically learnt all the things I that I had been doing so far, were wrong. Fantastic.

After our makeup was done, Mom and I took a brief picture and went to collect our free gifts. We were pretty happy with getting something for nothing!!!

Pretty gals?

Free eye cream and lip gloss for us!!

We shopped for a little while more, and then stopped at Dome cafe for some coffee and tidbits while waiting for Daddy to pick us up.

Tea time at Dome

We went home for dinner. I ate sparingly because I had too much for tea time: Chocolate Espreski with Milk Chocolate CHUNKS in it! And some garlic bread. Mom was spoiling me! I am definitely putting on weight again!! Hurray!! Needless to say, I was too full to actually eat much for dinner after that!

I gave Chow a facial while watching CSI: NY. We started with apricot facial cleanser, followed by tea tree scrub to exfoliate his very rough skin. Then I applied a 2 minute herbal mask to improve the moisture level in his very dry skin. After the wash, I gave him a pampering 15 minute facial massage using some massage oil from San Francisco. He almost fell asleep!! The massage is supposed to help with the blood circulation and detoxify his face. Then I applied another mask, this time for pore cleansing, and left it on for 10 minutes. Finally, I applied eye cream, lotion and moisturiser. His was was really glowing after that! It was such a HUGE difference. He had smooth, moist skin and looked 5 years younger!

It was a nice weekend :D

Trip to New Zealand

2007-09-06T16:18:00.000+08:00

Palmerston North, New Zealand

Ye Chow and I had our research paper to the sensor technology conference in New Zealand accepted. So in November this year, he will be giving a talk on multi-layer perceptron and radial basis function states observer in Palmerston North. He will be stopping by Melbourne first for work and visiting his sis.

I had hoped to travel with him to Melbourne and then to NZ, AND have a great holiday with him in NZ. It would also have been good to see Subhas, Sunil and Serge again (who will all be there) but this will not be possible.

This is because our other research paper to a separate conference held at exactly the same time in a completely different country was ALSO accepted, which means I have to be the presenter for the other one since Ye Chow can't be in 2 places at the same time!

So it looks like he will be enjoying the beautiful scenery in NZ while I will be facing crowds in a busy city. There goes my "dream" of a holiday.

My dumpling bed and goose feather pillows

2007-09-03T23:18:00.000+08:00

I am a self confessed klutz. I bump into just about anything. I have fallen down the staircase so many times that you would think I never really learnt to walk when I was a child. I still walk into the door on the occasional mornings when my eyes refuse to open. I have brushed my teeth with facial wash by accident before. More painful is the fact that I have smashed my toes against the side of the bed, through the opening and closing of doors, on chair legs and on closet doors more times that I can count. As a result, my legs and toes are almost always bruised at some spot or other.

Yes, I am a klutz. It's true. If there were a support group for clumsy people, I should probably sign up immediately.

Seeing that I am perpetually clumsy, Ye Chow talked me out of purchasing a four poster bed. I had my heart set on one, I always wanted a four poster bed!!! I want one!!!! But he kept reminding me that even without a post, I have been smashing my toes. If we had FOUR posts on our bed, I might lose a leg.

So we opted for the safest choice: A dumpling bed. The bed is white, and completely puffed up. The divan is a huge flat square surface to protect the mattress (which is very expensive - we got a good one coz we have been sleeping on crappy ones since we got married and our backs are killing us) . The sides of the bed are puffed up and bouncy, so that if I walk into the side, I will get no bruises. And head board is also puffed up and bouncy so that we can sit and read in bed very comfortably. Yes. It's a dumpling bed!

So I exchanged my luxurious 4 poster bed for a childish looking dumpling bed. But you know what? I really like the dumpling. A lot! It's great, it's comfy and it doesn't bruise me! More importantly, we got a couple of nice gifts to go with our bed. We got (for free) a nice 2 seater foot stool for the foot of the bed, and a couple of goose feather pillows! They are really comfortable!!!! Unfortunately, I haven't had the chance to try out the bed and pillows and foot stool. That's coz I haven't moved into my new house yet. Apparently it's bad luck to move during the ghost month (which is now) and very good luck to move in after the ghost month (which is the 8 month in the Chinese calendar). So we're still waiting to enjoy our new house and our new bed.

So there you go. A klutz gets a dumpling bed. A princess gets a 4 poster bed. Guess which one I am?

Midnight Shopping Trip with Marilyn

2007-08-31T12:28:00.000+08:00

On Wednesday I went for a summit with my colleague held in Renaissance Hotel. It was pretty great. We learnt quite a lot about the water and energy shortage and conservation in the country. Anyway the highlight of the event had to be LUNCH. It was great! Unbelievable. Normally food in summits and conferences won't be that good, but this was so fantastic. We had cream of mussels soup followed by chili crab, poached salmon, chicken and vegetable curry. Desert was even better. I had dark chocolate English trifle. It was so good that my tears almost came out!!!

After that, we took the train back to our office. At the train station, I bought a hard cover Oliver Twist book for dirt cheap! Oooh I love hard cover books (see this).

On Thursday (yesterday), we had midnight shopping! Marilyn and I decided to hit the shops for some window shopping. We first went to Amcorp Mall, whereby I bought a couple of blouses. Marilyn got a really cute purple top with cowl neck. It was so nice. If they had one in pink, I would have bought it too. Next we went to Guoy's house to collect a camera from his brother. Then we went to my house for dinner (Daddy was so kind to cook) and I watched my Chinese soap opera for 1 hour.

After dinner, we left my house for One-U. It was traffic jam all the way in, but the shopping was great. We went to Warehouse and tried on several dresses. They were on 50% off, but still cost about 70-80 pounds after discount. I tried on the white dress first and fell in love. It's gorgeous. I felt like a princess!!!

The Princess- Dress

The would-be Princess

Then I tried on the one in dark pink. The colour was BEAUTIFUL. I absolutely love it. It's a pretty unique colour and really looks nice. I almost refused to take it off. I wanted to buy it so badly, but then where would I wear it to? I was practically salivating over the pretty pretty dress!!!!!!!!

Pretty in Pink

The white tube dress was also really nice. The material is not as soft as the previous dresses (which were satin), but it looked really classy. The best thing is that it shows off the shoulders without squashing the shoulder "fats" which most tube dresses inevitably do. I quite like the black flowers on the white cloth. It brings out a lot of contrast and the black satin ribbon makes the waistline look tinier. This dress, however, cost 100 pounds (no discount).

Are you talking to me?

Giddy with trying all the dresses, we went shoe shopping instead. Marilyn bought a pair of really pretty brown boots. I wanted to buy the same pair of boots in white, but we couldn't find one in my size so we placed an order for one in Ikano. We left One-U at 10.30pm, to go to Ikano, which should be only a 5-10 minutes drive away. It turned out to be a 45 minute drive because of the massive traffic congestion going to the same place. We were wondering if there was going to be a big celebration there because of the traffic. But since we were already smacked dab right in the middle of it and couldn't turn back, we had to follow the traffic!
We managed to find a parking space in Tesco, where the parking is not free. We ended up paying 6 bucks for parking :( Anyway, we ran in and got my boots in white colour.

Cream-coloured boots that we fell for

Since we were already there, we decided to stay until midnight to watch the fireworks (it was already 11.15pm by the time we got in, and 11.45 pm by the time we bought the boots). It turned out to be an absolutely spectacular 10 minute display of fireworks. It was fantastic. Marilyn said she felt like she was in a dream. Indeed we were wishing we got a hotel room nearby (where Marilyn's dad could get a 70% discount) so that we could be closer to the view without having to face the crowds!

After the fireworks ended, they played the liberty song, and everyone was singing and shouting accordingly! The atmosphere was so pumped up and happy that I began to feel warm all over and so very proud of my country! It's Independence Day! It's our National Day! 50 years of Independence and the chants and songs really made me feel so very connected with my fellow countrymen.

At about 12.30am, we walked into Ikea and did some more shopping. Marilyn bought a soft and fluffy baby blue throw for her sofa. Then we walked out to the stalls that were set up alfresco just outside the mall. There, I almost bought a kimono. Marilyn loved it too! Too bad they didn't accept credit cards. Anyway, we may go to Time Square (where their shop is located) to buy the kimono in future, probably during Christmas or something. We can always take a train there to avoid having to drive through traffic. We shall see.

Japanese Doll Wannabe

The traffic congestion HOME was really bad (it wasn't even moving) so instead of wasting petrol trying to get out, we stopped by the 24 hour Macdonald's nearby to sit for a bit. But it was way too crowded i.e. no place to sit and the line to order was so long that people were lining out outside the store!! Instead, we went to another smaller stall and had mamak food. We got back to our car about 1.45am and only got home about 2.30am. The car barely moved and so we starting cam-wh0ring in the car. Our faces are red in the pictures because of the brake light from the car in front of us!!

Red-Faced Chinese Girls

Ye Chow was waiting up for me (I guess he was slightly worried about my safety). I got my quota of good night hugs and kisses and was resting by 3.30am.

It was a great day, and I'm still feeling the rush of giddiness and adrenaline!

Today Marilyn and I will continue our shopping spree by hitting other stores!! We already went to 4 shopping malls yesterday in a short period of time. I wonder how many we shall go to today!!!

I'm a Weird-Guy magnet!!! I swear it!!

2007-08-29T08:47:00.000+08:00

Ok it's really serious. I always attract weirdos. For some reason they all flock to me like little lost sheep I had a couple of stalkers to date, and a string of weird looking guys asking me bizarre questions.

My friends used to laugh at me. While other girls attract hot footballers, I always get the geeky ones with these characteristics:

buck teeth
awful hair
pimply
huge specs
bad posture
extremely skinny
pitifully undersized
socially impaired or disabled
giggles non-stop
talks very loudly and with false enthusiasm
tends to talk about themselves
asks strange questions about you
stares at you unflinchingly for long periods of time
has Grandma buying his clothes for him (i.e. clothes that even Mom won't buy)

I have just recently attracted another weird guy (my 5th one so far), who happens to know I am married but still doesn't seem to back off.

He waltzed into my office one day, happily telling me that he read about me in a magazine and wanted to introduce himself. He did. Then he started talking about his father, his life, his studies etc etc. All while I am busy doing work. Worst of all, he has really BAD body odour. I had to stop breathing to keep from choking to death.

He refused to leave my office. He sat down in one of the chairs and proceeded to stare at me when he ran out of things to say. After about 20 minutes of awkward silence interspaced with bad conversation about his life, I decided to tell him I was busy. He went "Oh, what are you busy with?" After hearing my reply, he proceeded to tell me everything he is busy with too. In the end, I had to MSN my colleague to come to my office and invite me for a meeting so that I had an excuse to kick him out.

My office smelled like a dead rat for 2 days. Everyone who entered my office complained about the stench. Arrgghh...

This weird guy kept visiting my office. Every time he pays me an unwanted visit, he would talk about something happy in his life and several times punched the air with his hands in a victory dance over some happy incidences in his life (e.g. an accepted conference paper, a holiday, an accepted journal paper etc etc). It's just so weird. He even tries to get me to talk about my spouse sometimes. I never facillitate him, because I don't like talking about personal stuff when at the office. Sometimes I wonder if the reason he keeps coming to me is because he has no friends.

We moved to a new office a couple of months ago. My new office is right next to my spouse's office. So now he visits me a lot less (GREAT!!)

Anyway 2 days ago, I went for a seminar with my female colleague and there he was sitting 4 rows in front of us. This weird guy kept turning around and STARING. My female colleague got freaked out. After about 20 minutes of periodically whipping his head around and staring for 3-4 minutes (i wonder why he didn't get a neck lash), he got up from his seat and moved to the seat in front of me.

I freaked out. I left immediately. My female colleague later told me that another colleague of ours asked her where I went, and the weird guy appeared to be eaves-dropping. She told him VERY LOUDLY that I went to call my Husband. Hahahaha.....

Thank God for friends like her!

Sometimes I swear I have a sign on my forehead that says "I am attracted to you" that happens to be only visible to geeks and freaks.

Summer

2007-08-23T13:23:00.000+08:00

Lost in a sea of blue skies
Lie in the grass
That grows wild beneath my thighs
I guess it's summer time.

Winter had passed
As did the lies and truth,
I'm frozen inside
Yet seasons still renew
Perhaps the sun will shine through.

Let it fill my heart with its warmth
Let it feed my soul that I had scattered so long ago.
I'll fly away
Lost in a dream.
Help me redeem.

Lost in a maze of vanity
Seeking the pleasures
That never quenches my thirst
I thirst for more each time.

I heard a voice, so distant yet so clear.
It repeated the words
That I just refused to hear
A stubborn mind...
A deaf ear.

And yet is beckons me, here and now.
And it fills my soul that I had scattered so long ago.
I've lost myself
Chasing dreams.
Chasing in vain.

I wonder why my feet headed home.
It's been far too long
Yet somehow that's where I long to go
I've searched far and wide, yet it's here
All that I need,
Here in this sun
And in this rain
I live again.

Lost in a sea of blue skies,
Lie in the grass
That grows wild beneath my thighs.
Yes, it's summer time.

Restaurant-style lunch??

2007-08-19T18:04:00.000+08:00

We have been quite broke recently, so we aven't actually gone out to eat a nice meal in ages. Actually since we have gotten married, we haven't gone out as a couple to a restaurant to have a nice meal.

Today, we decided to cook a nice lunch. I really missed Italian food, so it's pretty nice to have a good spagetti for lunch. We bought a nice honey mustard cream sauce from Australia, and decided to use it. We had mushrooms, mince meat, chicken ham and garlic mixed with the sauce. I also added cheese, white and black pepper to spice it up. Then we washed some fresh organic lettuce to partake with our lunch.

After some nice decoration on the plate, it looks like a restaurant level dish. I enjoyed it immensely, probably because I cooked it :)

What do you think? Does it look nice?

Happy outing with Girlfriends

2007-08-15T15:28:00.000+08:00

On Monday evening I finally met up with Radhika after so many months. She's now studying in the United States, so she didn't attend my wedding (sniff sniff). Anyway, since she came back for the holidays, it's been one problem after another for her :(

It's lucky she has John to support her, I guess :D And he's a pretty nice guy too. Anyway here's a pic of us together:

United again

Marilyn was also shopping with me, and we bought new nail polish! We also went window shopping, which includes trying on expensive jewellery and irritating the salesmen by trying everything on and buying nothing!!! We also tried on some nice clothes and took some pictures with them. I fell in love with this which coat...too bad it was too expensive for me :(

Snow White?

Marilyn tried on a sexy black number, which really showed off her best assets! I tried another black number, but it looked more like lingerie than a black dress! I have something that looks similar to it, but way cheaper. This black dress costs an arm and a leg!!

Sexy Black Dress - Model: Marilyn

Lingerie-lookalike

The shops decided to close while we were ACTUALLY trying on lingerie (Blush was having a moving out sale). The lingerie saleswoman wanted to sell me some white lingerie with black ink marks on it. I thought she was insane! Anyway, after all the shopping, we got hungry. So we went off for supper, where Marilyn ate some sinful calamari, and I had even more sinful garlic and cheese Naan with chicken curry.

Suppertime!!!

There is one person missing in these photos, though. Her name is Shirley....Anyway, it was a pretty good evening. Just a little too bad that I had to wake up at 7AM the next morning for work :(

Elite Malays and Mixed Marriage

2007-08-13T15:11:00.000+08:00

-Taken from Asia Sentinel-
by Darah Kacukan
Malaysia’s Malay leaders say ‘do as I say, not do as I do’ when it comes to marriage

In early June, the Malaysian media blossomed with pictures of Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi in the traditional Malay suap-menyuap ceremony, exchanging bites of colored glutinous rice with his new bride.

This low-key but high-profile wedding followed another elite ceremony in May when one of Malaysia’s most eligible bachelors, the Raja Muda (crown prince) of Perak, Dr Raja Nazrin Shah, finally got hitched at the age of 50 in an unostentatious ceremony in Kuala Kangsar.

But these two weddings had something else in common, a characteristic not much commented on in the media but clear to most Malaysians: in both cases the brides were locally-born Eurasians. The prime minister’s new wife is Jeanne Abdullah, a friend and relative of Abdullah Badawi’s late wife, Endon, who died of complications from breast cancer in October 2005. Jeanne had originally been Jean Danker, a Catholic from a Eurasian family which spans Malaysia and Singapore and who converted to Islam when she married her first husband, Endon’s brother Othman, from whom she was later divorced.

The bride of Oxford and Harvard-educated Raja Nazrin, son of the current Perak Sultan, who himself was formerly Malaysia’s top law official, is Zara Salim Davidson, a chemical engineer and the daughter of William Davidson, a British-born Ipoh lawyer and his Malay wife. She herself is a member of the Kedah royal house and thus related to Malaysia’s first prime minister, Tunku Abdul Rahman. Raja Nazrin has repeatedly spoken out against racism in Malaysia. Zara considers herself to be very much a Malay despite her Eurasian blood.

These weddings thus represent what should be one of the triumphs of Malaysia its ability to break down racial and religious barriers and subsume them into a broader Malaysian identity. Unfortunately the elite all too often fails to preach what it actually practices. It is a one-way street. Marry a Malay and you will become a Malay. You will also become a Muslim and, the courts say, you will stay that way.

The good-natured Abdullah Badawi clearly has no problem with the mixed racial ancestry of his bride, or with the fact that she was baptised a Christian. Yet he heads a ruling party which is not merely race-based but at times makes a fetish of Malay racial purity. And he heads a government that supports the recent court decision refusing to allow a Muslim to become a Christian, an act of supposed apostasy. But in the eyes of some Christian fundamentalists, the gentle Jeanne is also an apostate for having forsaken Christianity.

Malays are not the only ones with identity problems. Scratch many a Malaysian Chinese and one may also find a strain of Chinese chauvinism, as is often the case in Singapore. But in Malaysia it is the Malay elite which sets the tone. This is why many believe that a more open recognition of the sheer diversity of Malaysians’ origins would help offset the divisions caused by race-based politics that identifies religion with race.

Just a brief look at the origins of many members of the elite gives the lie to ethnic purity and religious dogmatism. There is Mahathir Mohamad, Malaysia’s longest-serving prime minister. His father was a Muslim Malayali from Kerala in south India who migrated to Malaysia and took a Malay bride. Mahathir himself was classified as an Indian when at university in Singapore.

But instead of celebrating the upward mobility that Malaysia offered to this migrant from India, the politics of the United Malays National Organisation required Mahathir to bury his ethnic past and wear his acquired Malay identity on his sleeve. In reality Mahathir welcomes racial mingling. His son Mirzan married into the family of Indonesian Chinese tycoon Liem Sioe Liong, and daughter Marina’s first husband was European.

The current head of the UMNO youth, Hishamuddin Hussein, who waved a kris (Malay dagger) at last year’s national UMNO convention and offered to bathe it in Chinese blood to the ominous cheers of the audience, is another whose Malay roots are not as deep as often assumed. His grandfather, the founder of UMNO, Onn Jaafar, appeared to be a Caucasian, which was not surprising given that his Johor-based family was of Turkish origin. Onn was ejected from the party he founded because he wanted to make it multi-racial and though his son went on to become the head of UMNO and a prime minister, he carried with him his father’s inclusive and moderate instincts.

Onn lost out politically to Malaysia’ s first Prime Minister, Tunku Abdul Rahman. Although the Tunku placed more emphasis on Malay identity, he was certainly no exclusivist. Indeed, he had been born a subject of the King of Siam and as a scion of the royal house of Kedah spent some of his early years in Bangkok at the court of his then sovereign. His mother was Siamese, though her family originally was from Pegu (Burma). Of his four wives, one was Thai Chinese, one English, one Malay and one Malaysian-Chinese. He never hid his fondness for whisky, even while heading the Organization of Islamic Conference, or his student days in England pre-occupied, as he once put it, with “fast women, fast cars and not-so-fast horses.”

The Malay aristocracy has anyway been quite catholic in its choice of brides. Those in mixed marriagesinclude Ahmad Shah, the Sultan of Pahang, whose consort is of Pakistani lineage. The Sultan of Selangor’s divorced second consort and mother of his heir apparent was an American citizen.

Sultan Iskandar of Johor’s first wife, the mother of his heir apparent, was a British woman, Josephine Trevorrow. In this respect Sultan Iskandar took after his own grandfather, Sultan Ibrahim, who had two European wives, one British, one Romanian.

Maybe it is Johor’s geography, its proximity to Singapore and the diversity of Indonesia, but its politicians seem to thrive on marrying outsiders. Former Deputy Prime Minister Musa Hitam’s first wife was from (Catholic) Latin America and his second was of mixed ancestry . Another Johor politician, Tun Ismail, deputy prime minister in the early 1970s, was of part Chinese ancestry.

Conversions of convenience to Islam often mean that Malay mixtures leave little trace compared with other cross-ethnic marriages. But the non-Malay, but Muslim, origins of many of the elite are found everywhere, from South Asia, Yemen, Egypt, Turkey and other countries. They include the likes of Zeti Aziz, the governor of Bank Negara. She is the daughter of Ungku Aziz, the European-looking former University of Malaya vice-chancellor, whose Johor-based family came from Turkey.

Chinese roots are also more real than apparent, often hidden by conversions. But relatively recent high-profile marriages to Chinese include Tengku Razaleigh, former finance minister and a member of the Kelantan royal house who married a long-time Chinese friend who converted and changed her name to Noor Abdullah. Rashid Hussein, the prominent Singapore-born, Anglophile financier whose father was Indian and mother Malay married Sue Kuok, a daughter of tycoon Robert Kuok Hock Nian, the Malaysian-born but now Hong Kong-based tycoon. Kuok’s first wife and mother of some of his children was Eurasian but he later married a Chinese and emphasized his Chinese ethnic identity. In a recent book, “Asian Godfathers” Kuok was described by an in-law as “the biggest racial bigot I have ever met.”

Among the non-Malay groups, inter-ethnic marriages are generally much more common than among Malays. However it also seems the case that migration is the preferred option for the numbers of Malaysians who either marry across ethnic lines or acquire foreign spouses while studying or working abroad. This particularly applies to Malay women who are either not particularly religious or who see no reason why their spouses should convert.

By one estimate, there are some 150,000 mixed marriages in Malaysia, a number that seems impossibly small in a population of 24 million. The leafy, winding streets of Damansara Heights and Kenny Hills abound with matrons who entered into marriage and lives of leisure with well-to-do Malays straight out of the universities of England, where the government had sent their mates. It is forbidden for a Muslim to marry a non-Muslim, so these women, with their servants and their huge homes, stop being Jean and become Jehan in public, although seldom in private.

But while the list of Malay elites is long and rich with instances of intermarriage, at the lower economic levels the list is short, and increasingly circumscribed by the growing power of Malaysia’s shariah, or Islamic religious courts. The issue was brought to the fore in the case of Lina Joy, who changed her name from Azlina Jailani and became a Catholic in an effort to marry a non-Muslim.

With scores, perhaps hundreds, of outraged Muslims outside the courtroom, demanding that she be denied the chance to change her religion on her identity card, a high court ruled in May that she was subject to the jurisdiction of the shariah court. The shariah courts have allowed one conversion in history – for a woman who had been dead for decades.

The result is that either people do not marry, or they emigrate. Bright women who have preferred to marry foreigners found their husbands denied work permits. There are believed to be thousands living in Australia, Canada or the United Kingdom.

For Malaysia’s young to take their cues from Malaysia’s top politicians and the cream of society outside of official policy might not be a bad idea. Shamsul Amri Baharuddin, the Director of the Institute of the Malay World Civilisation (ATMA) and Professor at University Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM) in Bangi – and himself married to an Australian, says Abdullah Badawi’s marriage to Jean Danker Abdullah is “not a catalyst but certainly symbolic.”

Marina Mahathir told Asia Sentinel that “If people think that marrying into another culture is enriching, then it will be a good thing. But some people make one person give up their own culture because they think of it as inferior.”

But so long as the elite indulges in kris-waving while marrying as it pleases, multiracial nation-building may have scant grass roots impact.

The Story of Cherry (1981-2006)

2007-08-12T19:21:00.000+08:00

Cherry was only 25 when she died. Her funeral was packed with mourners of all different ages. Some were genuinely grieving while some were in attendance just to pay their last respects. If Cherry were still alive, she would have looked at everyone attending her funeral, and wondered why they were crying. She would have understood the motives of those wanting to take a last look at her. She would have understood their curiousity. But not their grief. Never their grief.

Cherry was not a normal girl. When she was younger, she would keep to herself and rarely revealed herself to anyone. As a child, she was a cruel bully, ruthlessly abusing other children either verbally or physically just to see how they would react. She was not excited by their pain, merely curious by it. She once set a cat on fire just to see what would have happened. She even beheaded several pet hamsters belonging to her little brother, Daniel. She wanted to see if they would cry out in pain before they died.

Cherry grew up to be a very troubled teenager. She would shed tears in the comforting arms of her classmates, telling them about the abuse she had suffered in the hands of her parents. Her classmates gave her their loyalty, friendship and undying support. They were so sympathetic of her troubles and abuse at home. They were eager to help. Cherry liked the attention very much. She used their sympathy, pity and devotion to gain friendship. Once she got bored of their friendship, she would move on to new friends, and never looked back.

Cherry didn't like keeping old friends. They bored her. She had no qualms in letting go of old friends to find new ones. She didn't see the need in friends. The friends that were "let go off" never understood why their friendship with her was suddenly destroyed. They felt angry with her, frustrated at her selfishness, and appalled at her clever manipulation of their feelings and friendship. They couldn't understand how someone who was a great friend for 2 years would suddenly turn her back on them within a week and not look back.

But that's the sort of thing Cherry did. As a young lady, she could get boyfriends easily. She was beautiful, extremely intelligent and very observant of human feelings and behaviour. She knew how to get a man to fall hopelessly in love with her. She knew all the right things to say, and all the right things to do. She acted flawlessly, getting her men to do exactly as she wanted. And her boyfriends were always very devoted to her. They treated her like a goddess and practically worshipped the ground that she walked on. She was constantly bored and needed new entertainment all the time. Her boyfriends would struggle to keep her happy, entertained and amused. They brought her to theatres, hip restaurants, clubs and even on exotic holidays. They bought her clothes, jewellery, bags and shoes. But nothing would interest her for very long. And then just as she suddenly entered their lives and manipulated them to devote their lives to her, she would leave and find someone new, or something new to do.

Cherry was also extremely talented. She could do anything, as long as she put her mind to it. She had many different hobbies, none of which she stuck to for very long. She could ski, dive, cook, play the guitar, piano, drums, flute...everything. She did not do everything necessarily well, just good enough to impress. She had knowledge on almost every area of study. Again, even though she was no expert, she knew enough to impress.

Somehow, although she seemed normal enough, everyone who got close to her all had the same feeling about her. They all suspected that she didn't care about them as much as they cared about her. Those that were "let go off" would feel as though she took a lot from them but gave little in return. She never took responsibility of any quarrel, problems or incidents but would blame someone or something else. They always felt worried about her, yet felt that she was taking advantage of their kindness. They always felt used.

If confronted, Cherry would present a rational and good case. She showed empathy and understanding. She said all the right things. But she never looked remorseful or even sad. She would get angry when challenged, but could still present a good argument for her case. No one could argue with her logic, yet many instinctively felt that she did not care about their feelings, or even understood why they were upset.

Cherry did much charitable work. She helped tutor small children, and she was also a volunteer for the teen alchoholism center in her town. She was always in a position of being a mentor, and had many young children and teens in her care. She was a leader, and she enjoyed being in that position. She liked teaching, and telling people what to do. She was also active in her church. She was in the church choir and sang regularly.

Cherry died on August 8, 2006. She was driving to work when a truck hit the driver's side of her car. She was killed instantly.

In death, she looked serene. Like sleeping beauty, as if she would get up if Prince Charming gave her a kiss. She was beautiful.

Many teenagers from the alchoholism center were there to grieve for her. If only they knew that she only volunteered because she wanted to boost her image, and she had particularly enjoyed being in a position of power. Many small children whom she had tutored were also crying. If only their parents knew what sort of advice she had been giving their children. Church members had their heads bowed in silence and reverance. If only they knew that she never had a conscience and never felt sorry for being a sinner. Family and friends huddled at a corner praying for her soul. If only they knew that she had always felt like an empty shell with no soul.

But she was gone. And no one would ever know that Cherry; pretty, bright, intelligent and talented Cherry, was a sociopath. She had never felt guilt. She had never felt grief. And she had never felt love. She was an accomplished actress who could fool everyone into believing that she had feelings. But the only emotion that she had ever really known was anger. She carried her secret throughout her life, and could not help but manipulate people, for she could not force herself to feel something that never existed within her. And she carried her secret to her death.

One can only pray that on August 8, 2006, the Lord would show pity on her and take her into his arms.

The Simpsons new Couple

2007-08-09T14:43:00.000+08:00

Meet the new members of the Springfield community. They are a Chinese couple!! Haha, actually that is the Simpsonized cartoon version of me and Chow. You can also Simpsonize yourself, by going to this website: http://simpsonizeme.com/ Go try it, and Simpsonize yourself today!

The strange things people say...

2007-08-07T15:11:00.000+08:00

When I came back from my trip to Warsaw, Poland.

Friend: Oh, where is Warsaw? is it near Saudi Arabia?

Me: No, it's in Poland.

Friend: Oh. Poland. Did you see any Polar bears?

Me: Erm...

When I came back from Ottawa, Canada

Friend: Where is Ottawa?

Me: In Canada. It's the capital, actually.

Friend: Oh, you're wrong. The capital of Canada is Toronto.

Me: Actually, it's Ottawa, although most people are more familiar with Toronto. I visited the Parliament when I was there.

Friend: That must have been the American Parliament, because the Canadian Parliament is in Toronto.

Me: Erm...

When I came back from Seoul, Korea

Friend: So did you speak much Chinese when you were there?

Me: No, I went to Korea.

Friend: Oh. I thought you spoke Mandarin and Cantonese (Chinese dialects)

Me: I do, but I went to Korea and they don't speak Chinese.

Friend: Yes they do. It's not like you went to Japan or anything.

Me: Erm...

When I came back from Guilin, China

Friend: Where is Guilin

Me: China. It's really beautiful, you should visit there someday

Friend: Guilin? I have never heard of it. Is it near Shanghai?

Me: No, quite far actually.

Friend: So, did you see any Samurais there?

Me: Samurais??? Why would I see Samurais in Guilin?

Friend: Isn't it a remote area in China?

Me: Erm...sort of untouched. But ermm....Samurais are from the last few centuries ago. From Japan.

Friend: Really? But I just saw them on TV the other day.

Me: Erm...

Surrounded by Oceans of Water, yet dying of Thirst

2007-08-06T16:46:00.000+08:00

A young lady, Anna, walked by a Chanel store. She peered into the window and recognized their classic bag. ‘It is gorgeous’, Anna thought, ‘and I must have it. I will look good in it. A bag like that will make me stand out in my group of friends’. She worked hard for a whole month. She ate nothing but bread and drank nothing but water to save for that bag. Within a month, she had enough savings to buy it. And so she did.

The bag was fantastic. Anna took it everywhere. And then a month later in the restroom of a popular restaurant, she overheard two friends talking.

“Anna has been carrying the same bag everyday for a month. She thinks she is so classy, but she uses a Chanel bag with a pair of cheap shoes!” Said Friend 1.

“Hahaha, oh yeah. And those awful clothes I know she got from the cheap shop downtown. I know where she shops. And can you believe she is using a Swatch watch with a Chanel bag!!! Who is she kidding???” Said Friend 2.

Both friends snickered while double checking their makeup. Assuring themselves that they looked flawless, they washed their hands and left the restroom. Anna had not moved from the toilet cubicle she was in. She was completely shocked. The bag did not make her look classy at all. Instead, it showed all her fashion flaws and people were laughing at her! She quickly wiped her tears left the restaurant without another word to anyone. She would later claim to had received an emergency phone call from home and had to rush off.

She spent the next two months looking for higher paying jobs, a wealthier boyfriend and better makeup. She borrowed money from her parents, sisters and friends to buy Gucci and Prada shoes, Fendi and Vuitton bags, and clothes from Emilio Pucci, Giorgio Armani and classic Chanel suits. She started reading Vogue diligently and followed the fashion advice.

Within a year, Anna was a different girl. She had a fabulous new wardrobe, was the best dressed girl in her group. Many other women looked up to her for fashion advice. She had beautiful handbags, shoes and clothes. But Anna was no longer satisfied for long. She used to be happy for months after a new purchase, yet now a new Chanel bag could only make her happy for a week. Then she was out shopping for a new Vuitton to add to her collection. She could not walk out with last season’s clothes. She had an image to maintain. She also needed to add jewels to her collection. Diamond rings, at least half a carat, necklaces and bracelets. Her watch must not be anything less than a gold Rolex. And she cannot be always wearing the same watch! She also needed earrings, a BMW, and a larger house. She needed to marry someone who could afford to buy a big apartment on a posh part of town with a prestigious address. She only ate in highly established restaurants and drank only Dom Pérignon champagne.

Anna. Oh, Anna.

The saddest irony of life is that when stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft, you will probably die of thirst. If you drink from the waters, the salt content will make you so dehydrated, that you will need to drink more water. Drinking more sea water will dehydrate you even more, and so the process continues until you die. Of Dehydration. Of Thirst. While surrounded by an ocean of water.

Everyday, another one of us will start drinking the sea water, end up drinking more and more, never to quench our thirst and never realising that if only we stopped drinking that water, we would be less thirsty. What a pity to be surrounded by ample water, but remain constantly thirsty.

"Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst."

A really bitter Malaysian-Chinese guy

2007-08-01T16:20:00.000+08:00

Today, one of my co-workers showed me the news that some rapper who used the Malaysian national anthem to make fun of Malaysia was arrested, jailed for 2 weeks and fined MYR $200. Being the curious person I was, I HAD to go on YouTube to find his video clip.

His rap song was in hokkien mix Mandarin mix Malay mix English. You need to be Malaysian Chinese to understand what he is saying. But I managed to find an English sub of the video. I will explain some of the metaphors he brought up here so that non-Malaysian readers can follow what he is trying to say.

Many people said that his song has more effect on society than 10 years of Lim Kit Siang's speeches (leader of the opposition political party). But I digress.

His song certainly shows disrespect to many different people. He touches on many sensitive issues that Malaysian citizens should not bring up, otherwise they can be arrested for threatening national peace. He is pretty brave (another word for stupid) to put up a song without keeping his face anonymous while still living in the country. I also do not recommend that anyone else follow in his footsteps. It is not prudent.

That being said, I think his jail time allows him to take responsibility for his actions. Anyway the song is really funny, and would make you laugh very hard, but only if you're not the one he is making fun of...

Some Explanations for those who find this hard to follow:

NegaraKu = My Country (Title of Malaysia's National Anthem)

Negara Kuku = Country Peni$ (exceedingly rude...and most Malaysians will find this very very offensive)

1. The metaphor about durians is like this: for those who are not familiar with the "King of Fruits", the durian has many thorns and when you cut open the fruit, the smell is quite pungent. It actually smells a bit like rotting meat. Many Westerners can't bear the smell of the durian, but when you get used to the smell, you begin to like it. The taste of this fruit is...well..an acquired taste. Something like how you acquire the taste for Wasabi. Either you HATE it, or you LOVE it.

2. He also talks about policemen being called "MATA" (The clip where they show a pair of eyes). Mata is how the Chinese call the police, and Mata in Malay also means eyes. When he says they want "tea", he means they are asking for a bribe. It is rumoured that when they ask for bribes, they don't say "pay me a bribe", they say "I need some money for coffee". So these rumours claim that bribes are called "duit kopi" or coffee money. Hence the song claims that if you put "more sugar in the coffee" (meaning you are bribing with more money), and the police will be so happy that they even wave goodbye to you (wave "TATA" means waving bye-bye). Note to foreigners: These are rumours and have not been concretely proven.

3. The subsequent clips basically says that it is a good thing, because without bribing, he would get summons and his dad will get mad at him and proceed to restrict the use of the car. Without the car, he can't go looking for females and Ah-Kua (transvestites or she-males). Basically, Kuala Lumpur has a street that is FULL of she-males and they are apparently very popular with the local men. I have actually driven past that street before at 11pm (just to check out the rumours) and it was TRUE!!! Some of the she-males are so pretty that I actually felt very self-concious about my looks. Anyway, I was only driven past that street once, so I don't know if they are still there. The police may have already done something about it by now.

4. For those unfamiliar with the Islamic religion, they may be confused as to why there is "alarm clock" from the mosque at 5am (as claimed by the singer/rapper). Muslims are very religious people who have to pray 5 times a day. They get up before the break of dawn to start their prayers, which are sung over loud speakers in the mosques. Hence, before the break of dawn, you will hear their prayers if you stay close enough to the locations of the mosque. He says the prayers sound like the rooster crowing, but they wake up earlier than roosters. (Very rude to say this if you ask me. I mean, there's nothing wrong with people praying and everything right with this. Besides, I once stayed for 5 days in a hotel near a mosque and eventually got used to it and even learnt to enjoy it)

5. The part where he brings up the "kuih", kuih is a something like a Malay cake (for lack of a better explanation) and tastes very nice. The service in government offices is normally quite slow, and I can't really blame them since their pay isn't very high. This, however, is being changed and reform is taking place. A couple of months ago, government employees saw a substantial pay rise. He also talks about the guards being asleep so they won't give you any trouble. Ok, I can attest to this. Most buildings have guards, and they are almost always asleep during their shift. Seriously. I once left my office building a bit late (12.30 am) and had to wake the guard up to open the gate for me so that I can drive home. Haahahaha.

6. The part where he said Malay girls who wear tudung (head scarf) always cross the street so slowly, I really found offensive. Seriously. You can't walk fast when you are wearing a baju kurung or baju kebaya (both are clothes styled in a two pieces, where the skirt is long and loose, and the top is also loose, knee-length and long-sleeved (kurung) or hip-length, worn jacket-style and long sleeved (kebaya). I have worn both many times, and it's impossible to walk fast in them. Besides, pedestrians always have the right of way....although Malaysian drivers are really notorious for ignoring that fact.

At the end of the day, one must take this song with a pinch of salt. It's just a joke by some guy who decided to get popular by making fun of the country. It's not unlike the thousands of people who make jokes and poke fun at Clinton when he was president, or Bush (currently). Or the Brits laughing at Blair. You laugh at it, and forget about it tomorrow.

Staring at the same sky, yet remaining world's apart

2007-08-01T12:14:00.000+08:00

Anna's mother had a difficult time taking care of her when she was a baby. Every time she was breastfed, Anna would cry and cry non stop for hours. Eventually, her mother temporarily stopped breastfeeding Anna and fed her milk powder formulated for babies instead. The crying did not stop. Worse of all, Anna had refused to drink any milk after 8 weeks. Confused and panicked, her parents rushed her to the hospital. Anna was a very tiny baby, much smaller than her peers at 8 weeks, and had not grown since she left the hospital.

The diagnosis was in within the week. Anna was lactose-intolerant. In fact, she was almost 99% intolerant, making it very difficult for her body to digest even very small amounts of milk. She would get nauseated, bloated, an upset and painful tummy, and occasionally get feverish. The doctors quickly put her on a special diet, and she was immediately better. The best thing was Anna began to grow.

Years later, when Anna was an adult, she would still have to take care of her food intake. She could not eat chocolates and drank soya milk to substitute for fresh milk. Even butter would send her to the toilet for hours. It became necessary for her to tell her friends about her condition so that when they invited her for parties, weddings or dinners, they would know to prepare a special meal for her or at least tell her in advance what the menu would be so that she could bring her own food.

When Anna got married, she made sure her husband, Dan, and his entire family knew she was lactose intolerant. Their wedding menu was designed to cater to her condition.

Two months after her wedding, her new mother-in-law, Joyce, invited Dan and Anna to a home-cooked dinner. Dan's entire family would be there and it was a casual get together in Joyce's house. Anna reminded Joyce about her condition and asked if she should bring a special meal for herself. Joyce told her it was not necessary.

So the happy newlyweds went to Joyce's house for dinner two weeks later, only to find that the main course was a French dish that was cream-based. Anna told Joyce that she couldn't eat it, and Joyce got very upset. Joyce had spent 2 weeks preparing the menu and the whole day cooking dinner to make it enjoyable for the family. She could not believe the newest member into her family would not eat her specially prepared dinner, which was hard work, and very expensive to prepare.

She told Anna that she put half the amount of cream that was required to cater to Anna's needs. It was half the amount, and Anna should be fine eating it.

Anna explained that it doesn't matter if it is half the amount or full amount. If it has lactose, she would not be able to eat it. She couldn't even eat trace amounts of butter without getting nauseated. Half the amount of cream would still send her to the toilet for the rest of the night!

Joyce was incredibly upset. She had specially prepared dinner, bought such expensive ingredients and even modified the amount of cream just to please her new daughter-in-law who was now telling her that she wasn't going to partake in dinner.

Anna was dumbfounded that her new mother-in-law was angry that she was born lactose-intolerant.

Joyce decided to compromise and told Anna to eat just a little bit, since it would be just a very small amount. Anna said no, and it really upsetted her. Here she was, slaving over the menu and preparing dinner for her new daughter-in-law who was so ungrateful and unappreciative. She couldn't believe how Dan could marry such a woman.

Anna was still dumbfounded and very annoyed that her mother-in-law was so clueless and was forcing her to eat something that would make her sick. She couldn't believe that someone would be so unreasonable as to get upset over a medical condition that Anna had no control over.

Dinner was awkward and stiff, and was not a good start to a new family.

Neither were really wrong, yet neither were really right. Such is the pity of life.

Half-year Anniversary

2007-07-30T10:43:00.000+08:00

Time just flashed by so fast and now it's half a year together. This was the conversation we had a couple of weeks ago.

Me: We should celebrate our first-year anniversary in the French restaurant that we celebrated my last birthday.

Him: (He turned his head and looked at me very intently) So what date would that be?

Me: WHAT? You forgot our anniversary!!! It's 25th January!! How could you!!! (crossed my arms and pouted)

There was silence for about 5 minutes.

Him: I thought it was 27th January...

Another long pause.

Me: Oh, yar horr....

Him: WHAT!!! You forgot it also! How could you!!!

Me: ...

Him: ...

So here we are, on July 29, on our half-year anniversary (more or less) hoping *fingers crossed* that we won't both forget our first year anniversary when the time comes!

On our wedding day

Ignorance may be bliss, but ignorance of life is not

2007-07-27T10:13:00.001+08:00

Two men were walking along a long quiet road. On either side of the road were plains that stretched for miles. Neither men had spoken since the start of their journey. They walked side-by-side, well-paced and silently. The road was deserted for there were very few travellers on that road. Both men were dressed in similar fashion: black trousers and a brown shirt. They did not look scruffy, but neither did they look like they were well-off.

The sun was setting and the rays were particularly glaring. The men shielded their eyes, but continued walking. There was no need to slow down their pace. Although they had been walking all day with intermittant rest, they were not particularly tired. The last rest they had was three hours ago. The dying sun rested in the velvet sky. The men just continued walking, oblivious to the majestic view of the clear plains that had turned golden under the the glare of the red sun. Neither men noticed the beauty that surrounded them.

As the sun slowly vanished below the horizon, darkness settled in. Vision was cut by 80%, but the men continued along anyway. The stars shone brightly in the cloudless sky, like thousands of diamonds littered across the dark sky. The moon was full, and unhindered by clouds, shone like a pure and perfect pearl. But neither men noticed. Both were just intent on walking and walking, their steps showed no hesitation and their eyes never wandered from the ground. Their eyes only ever looked forward to the next step that their feet would take.

Neither men noticed how long the road was. They didn't need to. They already knew the road was long and straight anyway. Neither men gave much thought to what would be waiting for them at the end of the road. They were just intent on walking. There had been not much ponderings to the point of their journey, nor their destination. Occasionally these thoughts would flash across their minds, but as quickly as the thoughts entered, they were washed out by the thought of the next step their feet should take.

And so, they continued walking. They walked day and night, resting intermittantly, until when they finally reach the end of the road where they walked into the burning sun. There, engulfed by flames, they would stay until the end of eternity.

Some turtles can't swim...

2007-07-24T13:53:00.000+08:00

Despite popular believe that all turtles can swim, this is not the case. There is one particular land turtle that cannot swim, floats pathetically and often starts to drown when harassed in water. This is how that particular turtle looks like.

Yesterday, we went to the swimming pool where I proceeded to harass him (i.e. splashing water, attempting to pull off his trunks...you know, that sort of childish thingy children do in pools), and he panicked. He "ran" pathetically away from me -> straight into the pool light. HIs poor foot was cut and he bled pretty badly.

I felt so bad for harassing a turtle that cannot swim so I gave him a back massage when we got home :)

Potter-mania

2007-07-22T23:37:00.000+08:00

I read in the newspapers today that yesterday was the worldwide release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. There were people actually queuing up outside bookstores to get the book! At 4am!!! This is insane!
Potter-fans

Apparently in one Carrefour, the Potter book was sold out within 6 hours. My story? I walked into Tesco yesterday just before lunch because I needed to buy groceries. While I was there, I saw them selling the Harry Potter book. Not realising that it was the day of the worldwide release (since there was no crowd or no "rush" to buy the book), I strolled over, picked one of MANY books up and asked my partner whether I should waste money buying it. He asked me if I really wanted it. I said, "It's got a hardcover. I like hardcover books. I think I'll just get it". There was no one else rushing to buy the book. The only 3 people standing in front of the shelf were me, my partner and a guy wearing a Tesco shirt who was attempting to fill the entire shelf with a box full of the Deathly Hallows book.

Yes, Harry Potter fans are going to kill me. I didn't know anything about the book's release until I read the newspapers today. And I only bought the book because it has a hardcover.

My book

Anyway, I finished the book last night. I kinda already expected the ending so it wasn't too thrilling for me. I got on the internet today and found people saying they cried and cried while reading the book. Personally I thought it was boring. The only part I particularly enjoyed was Severus Snape's memories of his conversation with Dumbledore and he showed his Patronus. And Dumbledore said"After all this time?" And Severus replied "Always". That part was actually quite sweet. With a name like Severus Snape, it's hard to appear sweet. But that was pretty sweet. In a sick sort of way. But I digress.

I can't believe fans were bawling over the book and over who died. Honestly, I was not really captured by the story even though I read all the books and got to know all the characters thoroughly. Somehow the writer did not properly kill off any of the characters and it all felt too fake, too rushed, too boring. I certainly don't recommend anyone to read this unless, of course, they have read all the other Potter books and want to know what happens to Snape. You don't need to know what happens to Voldemort. It's obvious. He's the bad guy and bad guys always die. YAWN.

Lord of the Rings was way better. Potter doesn't even come close. Who cares about Potter? Go Frodo!!!!

LOTR

My little Christmas tree

2007-07-18T12:40:00.000+08:00

My mother went to a Christmas Village in Germany last year during the tour in Europe. She proceeded to buy little Christmas trees made of wood as souvenirs. I got one of those, and was quite delighted with it.
In fact, I like it so much that one year later, I decided to blog about my tree.
I didn't blog about it earlier because I thought this is one of those things that would catch my fancy, but would be forgotten after something new comes along. But strangely enough, I really love my little tree.

This is the tree when it is bare.

The undecorated tree

As you can see, it's really quite cute, with little candy canes painted on it. It's got those metal hooks where you can hang the ornaments. Every tiny ornament is handcrafted and handpainted. I especially love the one wearing skis and the little penguin.

The tiny little ornaments

Aren't they adorable? Each ornament is really tiny, as you can see from the picture below where I am holding a teeny weeny little snowman wearing a Santa cap:

Little Snowman

You just have to hang the ornaments on the tree where the metal hooks are. You can hang them anywhere you wish, as long as there are hooks. Once every 4-5 months, I will take all the ornaments out and rearrange them, just for the heck of it. It's quite fun to decorate a Christmas tree, especially one so cute and tiny!

Hanging some ornaments

Hanging the cute little Christmass balls

After you decorate the tree, you need to remember to put the star on top. C'mon, it's a Christmas tree! Of course it has to have a star! No Christmas tree is complete without the star!! I never did like people who substitute the star for an angel. Unless, of course, they have both the angel and the star. It's important to have the star, OKAY? That's what makes the Christmas tree a Christmas tree.

The all important STAR

Now with the star, the tree is finally a true and certified Christmass tree! You can put your tree anywhere, because it is so small. BUT preferably out of reach of toddlers because they might take out the ornaments and attempt to eat them. The toddler will possibly choke on the ornament and that would be a disaster. I mean, don't you think the tree would look incomplete with one ornament missing?

The Christmas tree

I have my Christmas tree on my computer monitor at work. Everytime I work, I can see my little tree and it brightens up my day. After all, who can be grumpy if it's Christmas everyday?

My computer monitor

Butterflies and Fingernails: What do they have in common??

2007-07-17T18:00:00.000+08:00

Recently, Marilyn and Shirley went to Malacca with Elaine and Wee Kiat. They went to a MLTR concert first, which I was invited but unfortunately I had some other family commitments (you know lar, family commitments have to come before friends, especially if they are the in-laws!). Anyway, they stayed overnight in Gentings and went to Malacca for one more night to stay with Elaine. ARRGGHHH so envious!! I wanna go too!

BUT Marilyn and Shirley were really really sweet. In Malacca, they went to the nails shop and got me something I really really wanted!!! Butterflies!! And nails!!! This is what butterflies and nails have in common:

Manicure stencils!! They are so cool. I bought the whole set previously, with two stencils, some nail polish, a stencil blade and the stamp to transfer the nail paint onto the fingernails. My set didn't have any butterflies on them and I was really quite disappointed. Marilyn and Shirley bought 2 stencils for me!! Not one but two!!! And both have something like 4 butterflies and 10 flowers on them!! I can't believe it! I feel so bad, I wanna pay them back for them!!! The stencils are ssssooooo pretty!!! My set:

Thank you Marilyn!!! Thank you Shirley!!! MUAKSSS!!! Oops, I shouldn't be kissing Shirley, otherwise her other half will come after MY other half and gay him! Yes Shirley, I know you're going to say "sweat".
How to use the nail stencil:
What you do is spread some nail polish onto the pattern on the stencil that you want to transfer. In my case, I chose to transfer two different butterflies: the smaller one for my fingernails and the larger one for my thumbnail. See the two patterns that are circled?
Yeah, those are the two.
I first painted my nails with a base coat to protect the nail surface. Next, I painted my favourite colour, which is a pale peach (so that it would match most of my clothes and is sombre enough to wear to work). And then it's stenciling time!! I chose black as my stenciling colour, so I spread some black nail polish onto the stencil with my pattern. I scraped off any excess nail polish using the stencil blade:

The pattern will then be ready for transfer from the stencil to the nail. This is where the stamp comes in handy.

I pressed the stamp onto the pattern, and then quickly transferred it to my nail. The process has to be repeated for all the nails. Finally, I applied a top coat (for the nails, not my body) to protect the colour and pattern. Once done, you can see how pretty the nails look.

Thanks Marilyn and Shirley!!! I love them!!! I can't wait to try all the rest of them out!!!! YEAH!!!

The Story of Jeannie (1980-1989)

2007-07-16T16:31:00.000+08:00

My ninth birthday was the best day ever! I remember Mommy giving me a pretty blue dress as my present. Daddy gave me a pale blue balloon to match my dress. I held it everywhere I went that day. We went to the playground, and then to the shopping mall where I had my favourite Kentucky Fried Chicken, and then we had ice-cream (i got chocolate!) and went to Gramma and Grampa's house. Gramma gave me a pair of blue shoes and Grampa gave me a blue hairband! It was a beautiful day!

I remember I woke up early that morning because I knew it was my birthday. I never usually get up before 7am, but this time I was up by 6! I brushed my teeth and washed my face and got dressed before anyone woke up! It was a Saturday, which is always the best day to have a birthday because you don't have to go to school. I ran to Mommy and Daddy's room to wake them up. They were very happy to see me and I got my morning hugs and kisses, although it isn't too fun to kiss daddy before he shaves. His chin would scratch my face and it tickles so much.

Mommy and Daddy got up to make me breakfast. I normally only get cereal for breakfast, but for my birthday, they told me I can ask Mommy for something special. So I asked for a French Toast with 2 hash browns. I would have asked for sausages too, but I didn't want Daddy to think I was getting spoilt. My sister Brenda also got a French Toast and 2 hash browns because we normally get something special on any family member's birthday. On her birthday, she asked for bacon and eggs and I couldn't finish my portion so she got to eat one and a half breakfasts. I had hoped that she doesn't finish her hash browns, because I like them so much. But she finished them faster than I did mine.

After breakfast, Mommy gave me my present!! It was a pretty blue dress! I always wanted a dress like this, just like Lily, my best friend! It even had a satin ribbon and lace hems! I can't want to show it to Lily! Daddy gave me a blue balloon to match my dress. Brenda even made me a card! I love everyone! Brenda's card had a sticker of Totoro in it. I still can't believe she remembered I like Totoro. It was fun kissing everyone and having everyone kiss me!

We went to the playground after I got all my presents. I carried my presents to the playground because I didn't want to put them down. I was wearing my new blue dress, and holding the blue balloon. I didn't want to leave the card at home even though Mommy told me to, because I didn't want Brenda to think that I liked her present least. Brenda and I played at the swings and see-saws all morning until it was eleven. Then we went to the shopping mall.

I like going to the shopping malls. It is always nice and cool and there are lots of things to see. It was fun to walk around with my balloon and card, and everyone was looking at me. We met this other boy I know from school in the mall. He really liked my balloon, so I wanted to give it to him but his Mommy said no. I like his Mommy. She has a really pretty smile and she always squats down to say hi to me. Not many adults do that.

Daddy took us to eat KFC for lunch. Brenda loves KFC and so do I. We only ever get to eat KFC on either one of our birthdays because Daddy says it is expensive. I ate 3 big pieces of chicken. I wanted to eat four, but I got too full. Besides, there is always next year. After lunch, Daddy said we get to have an extra treat because Brenda got all A's in her report card. So we went for ice-cream. I felt bad for eating the ice-cream because I didn't get all A's, but Daddy says that is what Brenda would have liked - to share in her successes, so I got a choclate ice-cream as well. Brenda says she will help me get my A's next year!

After ice-cream, we went to Gramma and Grampa's house. They were waiting for us! I got a pair of blue shoes and a blue hairband! Now I really look like Sleeping Beauty! I showed them the card Brenda made for me, and everyone said it was a really nice present. Brenda and I played with Fifi, Gramma's doggy. Fifi is very furry and likes to lick people. She normally licks my face and it smells kind of funny. Mommy says I should always wash my face and hands after playing with Fifi. I think she doesn't like the small either. But I like Fifi, so I try to get use to the smell.

I don't really remember what happened after that. I can only remember running across the road after Fifi. I didn't see the car until it touched my body. I think I heard Mommy screaming.

So here I am. In the Columbarium number 33 block number 2. Actually I'm not really here all the time. They just put my ashes here and Mommy, Daddy, Brenda, Gramma, Grampa, Aunties and Uncles come to see me every year. I come here every year just to see them too. I spend most of my time in a place called Heaven. At least I think that's what it's called. They never told me what it is called. I can only guess it is Heaven because Mommy always said that's where we will go when we die.

Brenda is much older now. She even has a boyfriend who came to see me last year. She's changed a lot. I guess I have changed too. I don't look the same anymore. But I am sure everyone will recognise me when they get here. And I can tell them again how much I loved my ninth birthday. I was so happy.

You're so unique...just like everyone else!

2007-07-16T16:00:00.000+08:00

Last week I read this line...it said "Always remember that you are very unique...just like everybody else". It really got me laughing...and then it got me thinking.

In our quest to be unique and to find some meaning in our lives, we often lament "No one understands me". Or the younger generation would always tell the older ones "You are so outdated. No wonder we can't communicate".

The irony of the scenario is that we are actually so similar. The more we try to be different, the more similar we are to the crowd. We think we should leave a mark in this world, but the truth is that to leave your name in history, you either have to be a very cruel person, or a very saintly one. If you are cruel, you leave your name to be scorned at for generations to come. Think Hitler, for instance. If you are saintly, you leave behind your name to be raped by someone in the future who either thinks you are a fake, or takes your teachings and twist them into something evil.

I would like to be forgotten when I die. Just another name on the stone at the graveyard. Just another face staring out listlessly at the visitors who come once a year either during Cheng Beng or All Souls' day.

You know, when I visit my deceased uncle in Nilai (cemetary), I would look at my uncle's "neighbours". See what year they were born and what year they departed from the earth. Some die so young, and I wonder what their story was. Was it cancer? Or an accident maybe? Some were born before the first world war and died after the second one had ended. What had they seen? Felt? Known? Lived? What were their stories? Perhaps one day, I shall write a fictional series of short stories on these lives.

Perhaps I should do that starting from today. Then we can really see how very similar we are. We are the sand on the beach. We amount to nothing. Yet we amount to something. Different sands, yet similar in compound. Far away, yet indistinguishable when brought together. Our accomplishments, hopes and dreams amount to nothing when we go. Our lives here on earth will be like a dream when we are gone. Just another soul. Just another one. So simple...why do we complicate it all?

This weekend I shall go plant some trees. My life may be forgotten when I'm gone. But it would be nice to do something simple and happy, far far away from the crazy and meaningless dog-eat-dog world we live in.

2 weddings and a turtle

2007-07-12T15:13:00.000+08:00

Recently, everyone is getting married. Seriously. I mean EVERYONE is actually getting married. Because of this, I have to look for clothes to wear, hunt down my makeup and generally attempt to look passable so that I don't outshine the bride in the worst possible way. I mean, one way to outshine the bride is to put on a beautiful white dress, wear gorgeous and expensive jewellery and have your makeup and hair done up to the tens! Showing up like that is one BIG way to majorly p!$$ off the bride!

How dare you show up looking more lavish than the bride??

Another way to outshine the bride is to show up looking like something the cat dragged in. You know, like a lizard or a cockcroach. Dead, of course. And most likely torn up and missing a leg or two.

Something the cat dragged in...literally

Actually that is what I am talking about. I generally look like that these days. I work, and then I play and then I blog, and then I work. I don't sleep, I eat turtle food (sour tofu, half cooked eggs and boiled veggie with no seasoning) and I forgot what a TV looks like. So yeah, I look like a rag doll. If I go to weddings looking exactly like how I normally look like, the bride will probably try to get her best man to murder me and dump my body in the ditch outside the restaurant. Not that I blame her. So yeah, I have to go hunting for my makeup. And attempt to do up my hair. So here's the tranformation:

From 50% asleep + 50% dead

To 50% awake + 50% dead

The second picture is me on my way to Kelvin Chong's church wedding. His bride is so fair and sweet-looking. They had a lovely church ceremony. In fact, their wedding card was one of the nicest wedding cards I have ever seen. It had a hard cover, a lovely satin bow in the front and an emblem of their initials (Kelvin and Jobina). During the dinner, they had a slideshow of the wedding photos they had taken in London (I think) and it was absolutely breath-taking. She is so lovely and he is quite handsome. What a lovely looking couple!

This is Ye Chow and I on our way to the wedding dinner. We were stuck in a pretty nasty traffic jam so I did some cam-wh0ring...And yes, I still look 50% like something the cat dragged in. But at least the bride won't throw me into a ditch, right? We finally arrived at Shangri-La where the dinner was held. It was lavish and beautiful.

The most amazing coincidence was that my god-sister was one of the 6 bridesmaids and was partnered to a groomsmen who was my ex-boyfriend. Confused? So was I....Actually it was a little bit humourous when we wanted to take a picture of her walking in, because she was arm-in-arm with my ex...so our pictures of her contained pictures of my ex also! My mom said it looked like we were stalking my ex! Hahaha...oh man....

Anyway another wedding we attended was a luncheon by Ye Chow's old classmate. I was the only partner who attended (most of the other guys came alone). They were Ye Chow's friends from high school. Most of them looked like nerds (What to do, all from Science One and Science Two classes what do you expect...). Just like my Spouse. Just like me....No wonder I fitted in so well. So there were 4 batangs and a geek at our table.

The high school classmates....all from the same breed...

We were lucky the bride was sporting enough to come and Yam Sing (drink and cheers) with us...Any other bride would probably have walked the other direction! But then again, she also married another nerd (another science one guy)...just like me...so she's probably getting used to it also!! After all the weddings and excitement, we are both tired. Ye Chow looks very adorable when he is tired. He really does look like a turtle sticking his head out of a shell.

You know the world is going crazy...

2007-07-10T13:26:00.001+08:00

I am sleepy. I know I am sleepy because I kicked a dog on my way to work. I know I'm sleepy because after I kicked the dog, I realised that it was actually my bag and not at all a dog.

I am grouchy. I know I am grouchy because I am sleepy. I know I am grouchy because I shouted over the phone very angrily. I know I am sleepy because I shouted over the phone, and there was no one on the line because I forgot to dial the number.

I am moody. I know I am moody because I am grouchy. I know I am moody because I my face is so long that my chin is touching the floor. I know I am grouchy because I am cursing the carpet for being a carpet.

I am sleepy. I know I am sleepy because I am moody. I know I am moody because my eyes are looking down all the time. I know I am sleepy because I keep walking into the door.

The world is going crazy...

Which celebrity do I look like?

2007-05-19T20:12:00.000+08:00

I decided to use my passport photo to find out what the results would be. Next I thought I should use another studio photo taken when I was 18 to see if I get the same results, just to test the accuracy of this system. The 3rd picture is my professional studio wedding shot. The 4th and final one is my recent photo taken in 2 weeks ago. Here are the results:

Attempt 1: Passport Photo

Attempt 2: Studio shot at 18 Years Old

Attempt 3: Studio wedding shot

Attempt 4: Recent Photo

Discussions
Honestly, this software is flawed. I apparently have a 97% resemblence to Amisha and 90% to Madonna, who aren't even the same race as each other, or as me (totally different bone structure) in Attempt 2. Attempt 3 saw me "resembling" Martine McCutcheon (80%), Marcia Cross and Shakira (78% and 76%). WHAT??

The clincher is Attempt 4. My simple and normal picture with no makeup, exhausted (just landed in Europe after a 17 hour flight) and taken in a restaurant just before dinner. I ended up with a 75% resemblance to Lindsay Lohan, Beyonce Knowles and Mandy Moore. I wasn't even aware that Lindsay looked anything like Beyonce.

Conclusion
Not a good software. I have a feeling my post-graduate students can create something better. But then again, they are too busy creating something more sellable...

50 reasons on Why it's Great to be a Guy

2007-05-17T09:02:00.000+08:00

I read this off the bulletin board in my friendster account recently, and decided to post it on my blog with my comments appended on each statement:

1. Phone conversations are over in 30seconds flat.
Why the heck do you bother with a phone call then? Morons, and liars. You never call. You simply type in a 3 word sms like "Free for dinner?" or "Will be late" without any proper invitation for a date, or a proper explanation on WHY you are going to be late, HOW LATE are you going to be etc. Worse of all are your stupid sms responses to our questions like "Ok" or "Yes" or "No" without giving any explanation on WHY yes, WHY no or what opinions you have in your completely uncomplex brain other than "OK". WHY DO WE EVEN DATE YOU NEANDERTHALS???? *ah, glad to have gotten than off my chest -.-" *

2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
Believe me, we girls are happy movie nudity is virtually always females. You honestly think we wanna see a hairy butt on the telly? Unless of course, it's Brad Pitt.

3. You know stuff about tanks.
Oh yeah right. Just like you know stuff about airplanes and guns right? All crap. Just put smart female scientist there and she'll find out you actually know nothing about tanks and airplanes and guns. You only know how to BS. Big time.

4. A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You KNOW should only carry one suitcase. Otherwise you won't have enough hands to carry our 3 other suitcases.

5. Sunday Night Football.
Well. We. enjoy. football. too. Besides, not all of you watch sports, so this statement is WAYYYY TOOO alpha male :P

6. You don't have to monitor yourfriends' sex lives.
Yeah, right. As if you don't try to monitor your female friends' sex lives!

7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
Ok. I concede this one.

8. You can open all your own jars.
So can we. We just ask you to do it. You, being so proud of being able to open all your own jars, are after all, just an over-glorified jar-opener. I'm glad you're proud of your abilities. Jar-opener.

9. Old friends don't give a crapwhether you've lost or gained weight.
They just pretend not to care in front of you to be polite. Your nick-name is Fat-a$$. Or Stickman. And don't pretend you don't care about being teased on your weight. We females know that is not true. How many times have I had a chubby guy expressed his hurt to me because of his weight? You alpha males pretend not to care. Yeah right. We know better.

10. Dry cleaners and haircutters don'trob you blind.
You only ASSUME they don't rob you blind. Enuff said.

11. When clicking through the channels,you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.
Yeah, but you do have to stall at every shot of someone getting shot at. Or a bomb going off. Or a female stripping. Or at the sight of blood splattered all over the scene. Or at the commercial of the McLaren-Mercedez. Or at the sight of Angelina Jolie. Or at at any and every car chase scene.

12. Your butt is never a factor in jobinterviews.
Hey, we use that factor to our advantage! And you can't! Hahaha, nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!

13. All your orgasms are real.
No wonder you are always so exhausted.

14. A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex.
No, but you will get nagged at everyday of your life by your gf/wife/female friend until you will wish you are invisible to the opposite sex.

15. Guy in hockey masks don't attack you (unless you smash 'em into theboards).
Talking about sexual and physical assault is not funny.

16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
Lucky you. That's why you should stay single. Otherwise you will be carrying our bag of useful stuff for us.

17. You understand why Stripes is funny.
........

18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
Wow, you can do this without a support group, but if you are asked to wash the bathroom, you need a support group. This is so .... sad...

19. Your last name stays put.
That's only because we females have a better perscpetive on things. You keep your last name, we keep your monthly salary. It's a pretty good deal if you ask me. And the best thing is that you actually fall for it. Every. Single. Time.

20. You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
So what? I even leave my own bed unmade.

21. When your work is criticized, youdon't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
...Fine. You got me here.

22. You can kill your own food.
Oh yeah? And who was the scadery cat who joined me up on the table when we saw that cockroach?

23. The garage is all yours.
The joke's on you, mate. We don't HAVE a garage!

24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
You also get a lot of nagging for your constant act of thoughtlessness.

25. You see the humour in Terms of Endearment.
You actually watched that movie? I am astounded!

26. Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.
No, but everyone secretly wonders whether you chew.

27. You never have to clean a toilet.
You can't help being incapable of being clean. Never mind, just hand over your wallet and we'll call a maid service to clean your disgusting toilet.

28. You can be showered and ready to goin 10 minutes. YUP!!!!
And we end up looking hotter than you. YUP!!

29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
Ok, you win on this count...

30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
We don't really mind if you're paying big bucks for it.

31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
True only for some guys. I have met guys who actually got very upset about this. Should we start labeling them as females from now on?

32. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
But they don't make you look sexy to us. Have you seen what OUR underwear can do to you?

33. The National College Cheerleading Championship.
...Paedophiles...

34. You don't have to shave below your neck.
Wait, you forget. Sometimes you don't even shave above the neck.

35. None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.
No, but they have the power to make you punch a hole in the wall and fracture your wrist. Personally I prefer the alternative.

36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.
Ah, so you know how un-sexy your hairy butt really is. So stop complaining if we refuse to have sex with your hair butt. Isn't it obvious?

37. If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.
If that is happening, don't be too pleased yet. It's probably because no one from the opposite gender notices you. You are invisible!

38. You can write your name in the snow.
As if that is what you really do. Admit it. We all know you piss your name in the snow.

39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
Yuck. I think I'll pass this one.

40. Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.
Really? So why are you ultra sensitive about your pimples?

41. Chocolate is just another snack.
Arrgghhh. I hate you.

42. You can be president. (In thislifetime.)
Ahahahaha!!! You??? Yeah right, you wish. You're no where closer than where I sit.

43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
Are you kidding me? Who is the bugger in the passenger seat who keep freaking out everytime I overtake another car?

44. Flowers fix everything.
Of course. Because it means you had just spent 50 bucks on something that will die the next day. Hahahaha, we women love to make you throw your money away.

45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
If this is true, it means you are probably not going to get much sex from your gf/wife unless you keep changing partners constantly. Or it means you are going to have to buy a lot of 44

46. You get to think about sex 90% ofyour waking hours.
Why do you want to do that? It's not like you're getting it 90% of your waking hours. If you are, you're going to die by the age of 38.

47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
So can we. You just won't allow us to

48. Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
...........

49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
erm. Why do you want to do that?

50. You can say anything ("Wow, do my balls hurt!") and not worry about what people will think.
Well, that is true.

The Man and his Music

2007-05-10T20:59:00.000+08:00

No one knew why he did it. Day after day, came rain or shine, there he stood at the corner of Alberta and Kilmaan Streets playing his guitar and singing softly. He placed no hat in front of him for monetary collection. In fact, any attempts to give him money was always promptly rejected. He once spent twenty minutes in a conversation with a very insistent 70-year-old woman on why he wouldn't take her ten dollar note. He had appeared one day many years ago, to the town. He was not homeless, nor was he poor. He was always immaculately dressed, with his black cotton pants, brown trenchcoat, shiny leather shoes and a tall hat. His clothes may be out of fashion, but they were always clean and impeccable. The locals became accustomed to his music and voice and any new resident quickly became acquainted with him. In the little town of Guevkirsten, there were no tourists.

He was known to all, and knew all. In such a small town, it was not hard to know everyone who lived there.

At dawn, the marketplace nearby would slowly come alive. Farmers, fish mongers and butchers would pass him by and every morning they would exchange at least one short sentence with him. He knew if they had a good harvest at the fields, or good haul at sea, or healthy livestock. He also would know if they had a bad night from being shunned by the wife to sleeping on the couch after coming home a wee bit too late from the tavern. He knew if they were happy, sad or just bored. And from their collective news at dawn, he would strum his faithful guitar and sing his self-composed lyrics.

With the sun high up in the sky and singing birds come the housewives, who would regularly be seen dragging their youngest children in tow. They would wish him good morning, listen to his tune and hurry off to the marketplace. If he were singing a joyful tune, they knew that the harvest and meat would probably be good and they couldn't want to get to the market for their shopping! If he were singing a soulful tune, they would also hurry off to the market to try to get the best bargain before any other woman snatches up a better deal or a better piece of meat. But most of the time, his tune was merry and the women would hurry off anyway, eager to shop and spend their money on food and perhaps some new clothes for the children. The young children who followed their mothers often wander off to him and his guitar while their mommys bargain to their hearts content. The women never worried, for crime was low in their little town, and at any rate they knew their children can be found playing near him at the corner of Alberta and Kilmaan Streets. He would entertain his chlidish audience with stories and accompanying music. His stories were always different, but they all ended the same way: singing a merry folk song that all the children would know by heart from the age of three. Most of them could remember up to five of his folk songs.

The women and young children would soon leave the marketplace before noon. The mothers who stopped to claim their children from his loyal audience would have a small chat with him. He would know their latest triumphs (see the pretty blue bonnet my husband got for me, all I had to do was praise his muscles a little!), and also their latest grievances (ooh, little Tim broke my favourite porcelein vase last night!) He would share in their victories and help shoulder the pain that their children caused them. All the gossip would certainly pass through his ears, and the best thing about him was that they never passed through his lips. He deflected all unwanted questions and probings by strumming his guitar and breaking into yet another song.

At noon, the older children would return home from school. Most of them, if not all, would stop by his side to sing along with him. He was never made fun of, for he was their favourite friend and the only entertainment available to the children apart from the occasional arrival of the circus or moving funfair. The children knew and loved him, sang his songs, told him of their day in school and some even make up new songs to sing along with him. They stayed for a half hour, and hurry off home to eat and to help out in the housework. The girls would have to cook, clean or tend to the front garden while the boys would have to manage the vegetable patches in the back yard, mend the fences or fix the plumbing. Hence the half hour they spent with him would be the time with they are totally carefree to gossip among each other while being entertained by his guitar.

In the afternoon, the market closes and so do all the shops. The shopkeepers would pass him by, stopping to inquire about his health and to talk about their business. Often, they would share a little of their produce with him, some gave him chocolates, some gave him bread and some gave him a pipe. He would, in return, listen to their troubles and wash away their worries with a song. It always worked.

The evenings saw the men return from work, and walking out to the pubs and taverns. They would pass him by, sober, and later in the night a little more tipsy than their wives would prefer. They listened and talked to him before a drink, and sang with him after. On specials nights, like someone's birthday, he would join them in the pub...him and his faithful old guitar...playing the birthday song, and any other song requests.

He was well liked.

Yet, he had no job. No one knew where he got the money to eat. He never worked, for he was always there, at the corner of Alberta and Kilmaan Street, standing and strumming his guitar. No one knew anything about his family or his friends.

He was not there, at the corner of Alberta and Kilmaan Streets, one fine day in early October just before the autumn claimed the land. The music and singing was missed terribly. The town icon was lost. They waited for him for two days, they went to his known address, they even called the police in the big city 2 hours away. But no one knew where he went. He had simply disappeared.

And it was very quiet, there at the corner of Alberta and Kilmaan Streets.

Three months later, the young boys began to take out their guitars to sing there for about a half hour after their school closes. Their mothers did not disapprove. The men followed their suit, and started taking guitars to the pubs and taverns at nights. The women started singing to the marketplace, and the young children in tow also humming along the same tune.

The man was gone, but the music never died.

How to save money for the people who are already broke

2007-04-17T13:44:00.000+08:00

Ok, there have been loads of stuff off the internet on how to save money. But their tips include: stop drinking Starbucks, or go shopping only once a week using cash instead of credit card. Honestly, those tips are for those people who are already pretty well-off but just overspending. What about those who are already broke and need to save more money for college tuition fees and stuff like that? People who can't even afford to pay for Kopi-O in the mamak, much less Starbucks in the first place?

Here’s what you do:
Firstly, stop going to mamak with your friends so often. That Teh Ais might only cost RM1.40, but if you go 5 days in a week, after a month you will be spending RM28. That’s a lot of money for someone who is already broke. Besides, RM28 can buy you the new box of underwear that you seriously need (not safe for your reproduction orgrans to go hanging about near the zips of your jeans, I tell you). However, by not going for outings you may end up losing friends, so it may be a better idea to still go to mamak, but bring your own bottle of water (not mineral water, but boiled water that you pour into your recycled mineral water bottle). Mamaks are usually quite tolerant of people bringing in bottle water.

The second thing you need to do is stop buying lunch at the hawker. Go shop in Giant or the Pasar Pagi (morning market) and buy some eggs, tofu and vegetables. Those are pretty cheap. Cook your own food and tah pao (pack it) to your college or work place. This will save you something like RM2 a day. After a month, you would have saved RM40. If you feel shy about eating that, why not pack sandwiches instead? 4 slices of bread and some tuna spread, you can eat this with your friends in the food court. Maybe once a week, you can treat yourself to a char kuey teow. Oh yar, and never buy drinks. Just pack your mineral water bottle. Eh, you think RM40 so easy to earn ar? RM40 can easily pay for your handphone bill OK.

Another thing to save money is to spend less on consumables. Let's face it, tissue paper is expensive. Cloth is reusable and washable. Use a face cloth to wipe your face after washing instead of tissue. Use a hand cloth to wipe your hands after washing. You will save loads on buying tissue paper. Also, the dish washing liquid is pretty much the same, whether you buy an expensive brand or the Giant/Tesco brand. If it offends you to look at the cheapo brand in your house, buy a nice washing liquid dispenser for your kitchen and fill it up with the cheapo brand. No one will know the difference and your dishes will still stay clean. You can do the same for hand washing liquid.

Let your friends know you are broke, and if they choose an expensive restaurant to eat it, you will only be ordering water. Some friends take it for granted that expensive places to eat is actually cheap. They think the food outlets in shopping complexes are very cheap what. Only RM9.90 for a bowl of noodles. If you don’t buy, they say you are so kiam. This is the core reason why you’re always broke: peer pressure. Let them know that you’re not stopping them from spending, so why are they stopping you from not spending? And excuse me, but we can easily get a bowl of noodles for less than half that price. A friend who thinks less of you because you’re not overflowing with cash is not a friend worth having. And there are some friends who don’t understand that eating out “once in a while” means eating out once a month or once a fortnight. They think “once in a while” means every other day.

Stop going to clubs. Look, RM20 for a small glass of tequila is fine when your daddy is giving you an allowance of RM500 a week. But if you’re working part-time, paying your rent, buying your food and studying at the same time, you’re going to be broke real fast. And these “friends” who ask you out saying they will pay for you sometimes will btch about you behind your back saying that you never pay for anything, only know how to mooch etc etc. They think just because they spend RM300 a week on alcohol means you should do so as well. Stop going out with them to clubs (meet them in the mamak instead after their clubbing). Those drinks that they buy for you are not really free of they are going to say you are a cheapo moocher behind your back. Besides, you can’t really talk much in clubs anyway.

If you drive, here's an important tip: FIND ALL THE ROUTES THAT YOU CAN TAKE TO AVOID THE BLOODY TOLL! With the recent increase in toll prices, you are going to have to avoid these tolls at all cost. Also, petrol prices have gone up, so here are a few tips to consume less petrol: stop driving above 70kmh. Your petrol will last longer. Brake early, don't wait until last moment only tekan brek. Also, if you are driving automatic car, when you come to a red light, shift your gear to Neutral. Go Neutral also when going downhill.

Have some frugal friends. You know, if your friends are trying to save as much as you, you’re probably going to enjoy their company better. You will find things to do that don’t involve spending too much cash. You may even find things with discounts and go for it. I once went out shopping with a girl who considers me too kiam with money. For instance: when we found that Starbucks was giving away free coffee for participating in some activity, I wanted to go for it. She rolled her eyes as if it was so tacky and totally beneath her. On the other hand, I have a friend who only goes to Swenson’s on Tuesdays with 3 other people so that they can share the Earthquake (it’s 50% off on Tuesdays). We can still enjoy nice and expensive things, just be aware of the discounts and take advantage of it! You know, I would normally never drink Starbucks because of the price. It would have been enjoyable if we took advantage of the offer. Too bad my friend thought that was too tacky for her. This includes get-togethers. The eye-rolling-offer-offended friend considers that get-togethers are only fun if there are loads of expensive bottles of hard liquor involved. The other friend is perfectly happy with steamboat get-together (where people bring tofu, eggs, Chinese cabbage and a little chicken) as well as playing Mahjong (using peanuts of course!). It became so hard to remain being friends with someone who got offended when I refused to spend so much money. And it became easier on my sanity and pockets to be with someone who can have fun even though we don’t spend much.

Don’t smoke. If you do, it will cost you more than you can ever hope to save.

Being frugal doesn’t mean you have to live poor or be super stingy. It involves making choices that are necessary for your survival. It’s about choosing practicality or luxury. I still buy presents for friends, or take them out for meals, only it’s not that often (perhaps only once every 2 months or 3 months). Most of them time we go Dutch, or just spend time in either my house or their houses. They are understanding and even help me save money by lending a hand (i.e. downloading movies using bit-torrent so that I don’t have to pay for movie tickets of dvds, helping me with manicure and pedicure etc). It’s fantastic, and the money I save can go into buying them simple gifts when I’m overseas. They don’t frown at my simple gifts (wah so cheap ar), but appreciate them to the point of feeling paiseh (shy) to receive them because they know I probably didn’t buy anything for myself and ate instant noodles for dinner everyday while overseas.

10 signs that he/she is cheating on you

2007-04-16T11:33:00.000+08:00

Normally, a person cannot hide the emotional and psychological effects of sharing their lives with another person other than their spouse. It is almost inevitable that certain telltale signs will show because the emotions of the cheater will show through their actions, facial expressions and body language. By learning and understanding how the human psychology works, you can probably pin-point certain worrying traits in your partner.

Mind you, if you partner exhibits one or two of these signs, they may not actually be cheating. It may just be coincidental. However, if you find yourself agreeing with majority of the signs, (5 or more of the 10 in this list), you should probably start taking a closer look at your relationship. Also, they may not be in a physical affair. It may be an emotional affair, or a crush they have on another person.

So are they having an affair? Read on:

1. The most common: Suddenly buying you flowers and gifts and all of the sudden, being extra attentive! And it's not your birthday...

This is normally not a cause of worry unless it is accompanied by the other signs in this list. However, cheaters will be extra affectionate during the first few weeks of their cheating due to guilt of betraying you. It could even be a conscious to try to spice up their relationship with you. BUT this will not last. Eventually it will move on to number 2.

2. Fighting with you over almost everything (small or big), and storming off during the fight, shutting you out. When you talk/discuss about it later, he/she starts saying things like: "What would you do if our relationship ended", or "Will we still be friends if we are no longer a couple?"

The fighting over small things is normally a result of the cheater's emotions of guilt due to betrayal, and an unconscious need to have a reason to cheat (i.e. we are fighting all the time). The repeated statements of the end of your relationship is probably due to him/her constantly thinking of leaving you. Of course, he/she may not actually be cheating based on this sign alone: they could actually WANT to leave you (but not actually be cheating). Also, fighting over small things is more commonly a sign of PMS...However, if you have BOTH the fighting and the end of relationship, AFTER the showers of presents, it is a big red flag.

3. Change in behavioural patterns. You are closest to your partner and knows your partner inside out. You know their mood swings, their behaviour, their actions and even their schedule. If you notice something different, you may not be able to pinpoint what it is. But your instincts tell you it has changed. Look carefully. Don't ignore it because you are not making it up. For instance, your partner seems moody around you, and gets very happy when you say you are going leaving. Or, your partner is angry over God knows what (they refuse to share with you), although you don't think there was anything you did wrong or that anything went wrong in the day's activities. You see, it is inevitable that the cheater's relationship with the other person will spill over to your relationship. If they had a fight, the cheater is bound to bring it to you. If he/she was upset with the other person, he/she will be moody around you.

4. Slowly by slowly, you are getting shut out.

First it would be the talking. He/she stops talking to you, telling you about their day, or what they are thinking. You realised that you no longer talk about your feelings because your partner isn't interested to know what you want or feel anymore. When you DO talk, you are getting criticism over all the things that your partner used to find attractive about you. Any comments you make to your spouse will make him/her easily offended and start another fight. Number 2 (in the list) repeats itself until you you're too scared to talk to your partner first (you rather let him/her bring up a topic of discussion). The trouble is that he/she prefers not to even look at you or talk to you. He/she also begins to shut the door when they are changing (they never did this before), read a book or watch TV when you want to have s3x, pushes you away when you try to be affectionate and stops kissing you passionately. What's happening here is that your partner is starting to distance themselves from you. This is an unconscious effort to physically and psychologically move away from you so that it makes the cheating easier (less guilt). It's hard to live with the feeling of guilt pressing on them when they are betraying you, so pushing you away makes it a whole lot easier.

5. He/she has a new hobby/interest that they never had before.

This is a very BIG RED FLAG, especially if your partner didn't mention a new friend (of the same gender). Having a new hobby or interest or talking about something that he/she was previously completely uninterested in and that you don't share in means that he/she has been sharing this with someone else. People seldom have a change in their routines and interest unless it is sparked by another person. If he/she has a new friend, this will probably also happen. But if you don't know of them having any new friends of the same gender, it's most likely that they picked this up from someone else, and someone VERY CLOSE to them (i.e. their lover).

6. Your partner starts talking about another person of the opposite gender,

often criticising the person in an unconscious attempt to send the message that they are not interested in/will never be interested in that person. Psychologically and mentally, it is very hard to push a love interest out of the mind completely. Remember when you first fell in love with your spouse? You thought about him/her almost every free moment you had! It is no different when an affair starts. The cheater will constantly think of the other person, and inevitably end up talking about that person. In an effort to cover up, they will try to criticize the other person.

7. Your partner stops paying attention to you.

It started off with the lack of conversation and the shutting out (see number 4 above). It will continue to this. You make special effort to look nice, put on nice clothes and even work out in the gym. Your partner just doesn't notice you or your routines and life. He/she stops complimenting you on your looks and stops telling you "I love you".

8. Your partner no longer wants to discuss the future of your relationship.

This is another red flag. If previously, you have been discussing having children/retirement plans and now your partner stops or avoids the conversation, it is likely that he/she is thinking that of ending the relationship. This doesn't necessarily mean that he/she is cheating on you, but if coupled with number 6, this is a BIG RED FLAG for you.

9. Sleeping patterns.

He/she either is super exhausted (without good explanation/reason) when going to bed, or has restless nights. Your spouse is also confused or disoriented when waking up. This can be due to too much toil during the affair, and also having trouble remembering which bed he/she is waking up in! If you see this after your spouse has been travelling, it is probably normal. But if you're going through a normal routine life and your spouse is overly tired or doesn't seem to know where he/she is waking up, this is a bad sign. The most obvious sign would probably be your spouse sleep-talking and calling another person's name!

10. Close relatives and friends start to notice something is amiss.

Because you have been living with the gradual changes, you may not necessarily notice immediately that things are so very different. You may even unconsciously choose to ignore it. But close friends and relatives will pick up on the tension and changes and comment on it.

5 things you should know before sending out invitations to your wedding

2007-03-29T09:35:00.000+08:00

In the age of consumerism, we start making many BIG, BAD etiquette decisions simply because of our inabilities to detach ourselves from what we want. The bride wants the dream wedding she always wanted, to be showered with the many beautiful presents she expects to get on her big day, a dream house to return to etc etc. BUT she forgets that the people attending her wedding may not want to spend all that money and time. What is a big day to her, may not be a big day to others. The trouble with consumerism is that we get so caught up with the getting, that we forget all the other constraints involved such as other peoples feelings, opinions, thoughts and hearts.

The following are 2 true stories written by people irritated with the bride-to-be:

Exhibit 1: The Greedy Bride
Note: SIL = sister in law, BIL = brother in law

I was copied on a mass email sent by my future SIL the other day, and it's taken me this long to recover and post about it. The first sentence wasn't so bad, but it waaaay downhill from there. The second paragraph notes when/where the bridal shower is, then goes on to say where they are registered, but that "of course, cash and gift cards are always welcome!" As if that wasn't bad enough, the next paragraph goes on to talk about the bachelorette party SHE's planning (um, no) and that she wants to have a Pure Romance party and everyone needs to bring her "naughty" gifts. That is just so not an image I want in my head. Then it gets even worse. The wedding and the reception are two hours away from each other, which is bad enough, but then she goes on to state that one of the highlights of the reception will be opening gifts from those unable to attend the shower, like "Bob's" (my BIL's) family who are all from out of town! My jaw hit the floor when I read all of this. I don't think the entire library of Miss Manners books could make a dent in this girl.

Exhibit 2: The Greedy AND Selfish Bride
NOTE: MOH = maid of honour, MOB = mother of bride
This was waiting for me in the mail when I got home today. The shower is being held for the daughter of my mothers best friend. It is her second marriage. I was guilted into babysitting for her a couple of summers ago (and she still owes me $70 but that's another story). Anyway I got an invitation to her bridal shower. This is the part of the invitation that nearly made me choke when I read it.

"We are having a room by room shower! Let's help John and Jane decorate their beautiful new house! You have been assigned the master bath. Jane's colors for this room are chocolate brown and cream. Please bring bath towels in these colors."

Well I immediately called my mom to see if she had gotten an invitation, she had. She was assigned the master bedroom and was told to bring sheets for a queen sized bed in pale blue.
You want to know the best part of this? Mom had spoken with the MOH when she called to RSVP and the MOH was so proud that she had talked the bride out of including registry cards on with invitations because "that just looks so tacky!". Evidently MOH and bride came up with this idea together in order to avoid duplicate gifts and to make sure the bride got what she wanted.

I figure I'll let her keep the $70 she owes me as her wedding gift and it's such a shame that I can't get the day off work so I can come to her shower.

From what I understand they came up with this in place of a registry because they thought registries were tacky. I don't understand the logic behind that but OK. My mom is going for her friend (who is really a very lovely lady and was horrified when she found out what her daughter was planning). The shower is next Saturday (yeah I know, really short notice) so I'll be able to find out everything that went on.

So I talked with my mom this morning, she took the MOB out to dinner last night, she is just sick about the whole wedding and this shower idea but has already had so many fights with the bride and groom and MOH about the wedding that she is not willing to fight with them about this. This is just a bit of background information on the wedding and all the drama involved in it. Keep in mind this is the brides second marriage, the grooms third.
The fireworks started when the bride and groom discovered that neither set of parents were willing to contribute money towards the wedding. Well there were many temper tantrums, tears, threats of never being able to see their grandchild again (and that was just from the groom you should have seen how the bride acted). Finally just to keep the peace the MOB agreed to contribute some money towards their wedding, the grooms parents are standing firm that they will not be contributing anything.

Then the fights over the wedding itself began. The bride wants this to be a very lavish event. She has six bridesmaids and two flower girls, is going to be wearing a big poufy white dress, floor length veil, the whole works. She is having the wedding and reception in Boise which is about a five hour drive from the town where their families live. Reason? She couldn't find anything in our town that was fancy enough for her. Her mom suggested that maybe things were getting too elaborate for a second wedding and they should tone it down a bit but she was accused of trying to ruin the brides day and was also accused of trying to punish the bride for her failed first marriage and that was the reason she didn't want her to have a nice wedding. Every time she suggested something a little less expensive or less elaborate she ended up getting in a fight with either the MOH or the bride and groom. So she just stopped trying to help at all and just wrote the bride a check and washed her hands of the whole thing.

Now about the shower. The MOH wanted the MOB to host it at a rather expensive restaurant (and pay for it of course). MOB finally put her foot down and said she would have nothing to do with a shower for the wedding. Well MOH and bride pitched a royal fit but MOB stands firm on this. Well then MOH and bride descended on his mom and tried to bully her into paying for a fancy shower. She refused and so the bride is no longer on speaking terms with either mom.
MOB is already getting calls from her family as they get their invitations, this is just some of the things they have been told to bring, stainless steel kitchen appliances, power tools (cause ya know the groom would just be crushed if he didn't get shower presents too), kitchen towels in red or black, a down comforter, and this is the best one, bed linens for the brides daughters bedroom which is being decorated in a Disney Princess theme.

Dear GOD, what has happened here? Why do people fight with each other and create so much anger, tension and hurt over an event that is supposed to celebrate love? Why has materialism and consumerism taken over all the most joyous and sacred of events such as weddings and christmasses? What has happened?

By focusing only on themselves and what they hope to gain, they have lost their ability to give love.

Starting out on a new life with a new partner is already challenging. Throwing in the disagreements, tension and fights about the wedding day prior only makes things worse. It is easy to lose perspective of what is really important once you get into the groove of wanting a day for yourself. The planning which started as a happy occasion, became an extension of the ego, and unconsciously, the loving became the selfish. They may think: “What’s wrong? It’s only for one day. They can’t even give me this little on ONE occasion? Stingy ba$tard$! Can’t even chip in for my wedding? Selfish a$$hoes!”.

What’s worse is that a selfish person is incapable of seeing themselves as selfish. Instead, they see others as selfish for not giving.

So what are the 5 things you should know?

Try to remember WHY you are getting married.
Is it for the presents or the big event? Is it for the diamond and new house? The party? The feeling-like-a-princess-for-day experience? If these are your reasons, by all means, irritate the hell out of your guests and relatives. Because congratulations, you are a DIVA and your marriage will end like the many DIVAS in Hollywood – divorce. With a whole bunch of people saying “I knew it was coming”.

You are marrying to be with HIM. The man who will spend the rest of his life with you. The love of your life. And this ceremony doesn’t change your love for him, or the wedding day. You just want to be with him. So don’t get caught up with the wedding plans and forget the marriage. It’s like planning for a big battle, and forgetting the war ahead of you.

You may need to rethink what a perfect wedding means
A lot of brides forget themselves while planning the big day. They want perfection. They EXPECT perfection. They EXPECT presents. They EXPECT everything to be done THEIR way. It’s MY DAY, I want the perfect day! Is this too much to ask? Don’t ruin MY DAY!!! Well, you can demand, and you may even get what you demand. But you are going to lose someone else’s respect. You are paying with your reputation. Remember that other people may have their own way of doing things, which may not coincide with your idea of perfection, but may not be a bad thing either. Don’t go hysterical over having the “wrong coloured candles”.

You don’t need to be showered with gifts
Gone are the days when people accepted gifts with gratitude. Now we have wish-lists and even people going so far as to dictate what presents you should get them. Do you want guests there for the presents that they give to you, or do you just want to share the special day with them? Isn’t a wedding all about the love and union between 2 people? If you want an elaborate wedding, that is fine, but it isn’t a good thing when you are expecting someone else to pay for your extravagance, or for guests to bring you great presents. Pay your own way, and just enjoy your guests. Having your expensive dream wedding at another person’s expense is nice, no doubt about that. It’s the ultimate victory in consumerism – to get something for nothing. However what you don’t lose out in terms of money, you will eventually lose out in terms of your relationship with the other person. And that’s something even money cannot buy back.

Include your partner in your plans.

Many brides tend to neglect their partner in their plans. They have this huge dream, whereby the man is not required to give any input. In some cases, any input from him is not appreciated. He is supposed to just attend and is only an accessory in the wedding. Just picture this conversationà Groom: “I don’t think we should spend 300 bucks on doves only to release them at the end of the day.” Bride: “Did I even ask you? We ARE having the doves and your mother has already agreed to it, so be a good son and husband and obey!” So what is he? It’s HIS wedding day too! Include him, and make this an affair between the two of you. You may have to compromise some of your dreams to include some of his practicalities, but you what you lose in terms of “dreams” will be invested in your marriage. You are working as a couple! What you gain is far better than a dream: it’s a beautiful reality. What’s the point of having a beautiful dream and an ugly reality?

Your guests prefer to see love, not grandeur

Trying to outdo any other wedding anyone else has ever attended before is a great goal. You want to make this a day they will remember. They may even be talking about your wedding in months to come! Great goal, but could you do it in another occasion, like your birthday party? Because in your wedding, your wonderful guests would probably want to see the loving couple unite. What could be more memorable than having the bride and groom so completely in love with each other and glowing with happiness? When you see 2 young lovers sharing in the beauty of new love, the candles, cakes, décor and rooms are all forgotten. You only see love, and share in that love. And perhaps if you have enough love for each other, it will shine out and remind other older couples of their love for their spouses. A beautiful wedding ceremony is not the one with best entertainment. It’s the one where the love is pure.

Is it possible to have a horrid and nice day at the same time?

2007-03-19T15:49:00.001+08:00

Today was a very busy day. People were harassing me the very last minute and I was made to attend one extra meeting that was a waste of my time. Somehow, everytime there is some sudit, I am always chosen to sit in the committee that meets with the auditors. ALWAYS ME! I have been on every single audit since I started work. It sux. It takes what up precious little time I have. And it means I have to work on Saturdays to cover up all the stuff I miss out on.

So it was a horrid day. I had a very bad dream about eating hokkien mee with centipedes, caterpillars and bugs - and then having to scale down a very high wall (i am afraid of heights). I woke up with eyebags and muscle aches. My cereal ran out in the morning. I couldn't buy bread in the afternoon coz the shop ran out of bread. I was called in last minute for another audit. Everyone passes their work last minute. And expects feedback in time on top of it...idiots...

And it was a great day too. Because as I was leaving the lab after another 2 hour session of horror, one young man with afro style hair caught up with me in the lift area to let me know what he thought of me. His exact words were: "You look great, you look hot. How old are you? Wow, just wanted to let you know you look great!".

How I wished I had let him know he made my day. After such a nasty day, I found myself giggling like a school girl on a hot summer day.

What to look for in a Spa Package...

2007-03-15T11:05:00.000+08:00

What entails a good spa package? If you want to treat your loved one to a spa experience, but have never personally gone for one before, how do you know if what you are getting your partner is a nice experience?

Now, if this is the one and only time you are going for the spa, please get the full package. There is no sense in getting just a 30-minute massage. I don't think that is a going to be a very nice present for your loved one...

Get something such as a foot soak to start off the spa experience. Its simple, it's nice and it marks the beginning of 3-4 hours of pampering. Make sure they serve you some nice ginger or ginseng drink before you start out, coz you're normally entitled to a drink before your spa. You can choose different soaks for your feet. If you have very dry skin, rose and milk may suit you. If your feet are tired after a whole day of shopping (or following your partner shopping), some herbal bath may be better. If you think they are all the same and you couldn't care less which one to choose, then go for the aromatherapy soaks. They are the safest. They smell good and they feel nice. Only problem is, you probably have to choose which of the ten different oils you want to use! I personally like frangipani, lavender and rose. If in doubt, just choose lavender.

Next, you should go for a body scrub. It's pretty nice, they massage a scrub all over your body, then you go for a hot tub and after that your skin will glow! If you don't fancy a scrub, you can opt to head straight for the hot tub.

You will be presented with the same set of problems for the hot tub. Do you want herbal? Which kind? Do you want rose petals? Do you want aromatherapy? Which oils?

Ye Chow almost went mad with all the choices. I simply chose the herbal one since we already had an aromatherapy foot soak. The tub may vary in shape and size. The one we had is narrow in diameter, but pretty deep (see photo), but most places have a wide and shallow tub. The more classy places may have an oversized tub in a private courtyard. Our bath came with a few pretty flowers (which Ye Chow subsequently shreded apart). Someday, I want to go buy a whole bunch of flowers and cover the entire surface of my own bath tub!

Anyway, after your hot tub, you will be all warm and ready for your massage. If you are in doubt as to which massage to choose, ask yourself the following questions:

Do you want to be pampered? If so, choose Swedish or Aromatherapy massage. Swedish massage is very relaxing, and uses smooth, circular motions. Aromatherapy massage simply uses some essential oils on top of the massage oils. Some people like the smell, some don't. So you have a choice.
Do you want some sort of a treatment with your massage but are afraid of pain? If so, choose hot-stone massage therapy or shiatsu. Hot-stones are nice and warm and loosens your tight muscles without causing too much pain. People who try shiatsu may first think it sounds painful, but it is actually quite pleasant. Your body will normally feel very nice, musclaes all loosened up and body balance improve with either one of these two therapies.
Do you want to be tortured??? Oh you masochist you....Don't worry, most spas have just the thing for you! Go for either Thai massage or deep tissue massage. Mind you, the latter can cause you pain for the next 2 days, so be warned!

Since we were on our honeymoon, i chose aromatherapy massage to improve blood circulation and for relaxation. These massage treatments normally last 1 hour 15 minutes up to 1 hour 45 minutes. If you're getting less than that, please complain to the spa centre and tell them that everywhere else is offering 90minutes, they should at least comply with the standard! After that, please leave the place. You don't want to go for their deep tissue massage if they are pi$$ed off with you. You may end up sore for a whole week!

Now after you have gotten your massage, you can either go off to shower, or continue with:

facial
hair treatment
foot reflexology
all of the above

It's always a good idea to end with at least one of the above. That is because after your massage, you may be a little lethargic (if it was relaxing) or terribly sore (for the masochists), and want to linger a little longer to get your sense of balance back before you head off home. We opted for spa facial and ended with some foot reflexology. We also got some warm ginger/ginseng tea. Always remember this: You MUST have something warm to drink after your massage. It's good for your body system, since it helps with circulation. The facial or hair treatment should last about an hour, while the foot reflexology is normally 30-45 mins.

So now that you know what a spa package is like, the first thing that you should have noticed is how much time it all takes! So don't plan to have both spa and fishing in the same afternoon. It's not going to work. You need an entire morning or afternoon to enjoy it. I prefer afternoon, at least 1 hour after lunch. It leaves you feeling all nice, warm and pampered and sets the mood for a romantic dinner.

How to create a CHEAP and GREAT Valentine's Day

2007-03-15T10:14:00.000+08:00

How to create an OUTSTANDING Valentine CHEAPLY

If you know my spouse, Ye Chow, well you should know that he's one of those guys who detest Valentine's Day.

This is how he describes Valentine's day:

The day which the gate of the sinful open wide and the evil spirits roam free. The dark energy started their preparation from one month ago and this is the day when the dark army strikes. The evil spirits are everywhere on Valentine’s Day, causing people to rob each other under the bright light of the heaven. Even the innocents are not spared. Home is your only refuge on this evil day! Stay home! Heed the warning, or come out at your own peril!

I'm very sure this is shared by quite a few blokes out there. To some extent, Valentine's Day is quite ridiculous (maybe not as dramatic as Ye Chow's description). Why in the world do couples who spend most of their time going out on dates even need another day to date? It's not like we're celebrating World Marriage Day here (where married couples can ditch their whiny kids at home and have a special night out). We're celebrating a day for couples who are already dating! The trouble is that because dating couples already go on spectacular dates, they need to spend more to make this day remotely special. So out comes the ridiculously expensive presents, ridiculously expensive chocolate, ridiculously expensive 5 course dinner and extremely ridiculously expensive roses ($10 per stalk, ARE THEY INSANE??)

So how do we dating couples have an outstanding Valentine's day without spending all that extra cash?

I shall let you in on our secret for a beautiful Valentine's day!

Note: Firstly, I should admit that it took me 2 days to convince Ye Chow to even step out of the house for Valentine's day. We were in Melbourne for work, and so we HAD to go to the office for some meetings with our colleagues. But both our meetings ended a little early, so I managed to convince him to go out to the city and walk around a bit.

Turtle Channel's Spectacular and CHEAP Valentine's Night!
1. Flowers

Ok, we all know how much these things cost during Valentine's day. But why bring your girl flowers? Have you ever thought of this instead: bring her to the flowers!! Think about it! You can shower her with flowers and it won't cost you a thing...and you won't have to kill any plants in the process! And it's even more romantic that giving her a bouquet of roses and kissing over it. You can kiss her while you're surrounded by flowers! You can even romp in the nearby patch of grass, tickle her, kiss or and more! The possibilities are endless! Make the whole giving-flowers-on-Valentine's-Day an event that lasts something like 1-2 hours. You can even bring a camera and tripod to record the whole event. Believe me, it can be very romantic just holding hands and walking in the park. And kissing while surrounded by flowers. And yes, romping on soft grass is pretty nice too. Especially if there is a nearby lake. You can even bring some bread to feed the ducks together!

2. Gourmet dinner

Well, have you seen the ads on newspapers? Some hotels offer a 5-course dinner by candlelight with live band entertainment, flowers and candy for the girl and free polaroid picture to record the event. All for just RM800 per couple. Very cheap isn't it? Waitabloodyminute! Isn't that the price of 1.3 MP camera handphone from Motorola? You're eating a camera handphone! Dear God! As a nice alternative, you can bring your girl dinner under the moonlight! It completely complements the walk-in-the-park-with-flowers thingy. You can bring her some fish and chips or seafood or even burger and just enjoy it under the moonlight. In my case, Ye Chow bought me a seafood platter thingy (fried fish, calamari, prawn, scallops and fries) and a chicken burger for himself from a food stall in the park (it cost less than $15). For entertainment, we didn't have a live band. Instead, we had the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra! And it was absolutely free.

The concert lasted 2 hours. Actually most of the people attending were old Caucasian men and women, and a few young oriental girls (very few young men there). The Caucasians were teasing Ye Chow about buying me a nice Valentine's day present! HAhaha!! We ended the night with fireworks!!!! How about that for a spectacular Valentine's day? From a guy who doesn't even believe in going out on the 14th of February!! Hahaha!!!

So now that you know the secret of a Spectacular and Cheap Val's Day, how about you plan a good one starting from now? Go on, you have a year to get it right! And it won't have to cost you much!

Wanna see a Koala in the Wild? Go Bushwalking!

2007-03-15T09:59:00.000+08:00

Comic Relief

2007-02-06T15:15:00.000+08:00

Warning: 18 SG rating. Children under the age of 18 should not read this post. If you are under 18, please click here .

Our motto is: If the comic doesn't make u laugh, the ugly drawings will.

The Turtle Strip

Pleasure for the day

2007-02-06T09:25:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a pretty lousy day in most respects. In the morning, I needed to go to the bank to transfer some funds from one acct to another. I walked there only to find that I forgot to bring one of the acct numbers with me. Then we decided to go collect my wedding gown first. Only to find that the shop was still closed. So we decided to pay the cheque for the new house. Only to find that we forgot to bring the cheque out. I started to get a headache.

So we had to go back home, take the acct book and then go to the office to get the cheque and then do everything that we needed to do. We wasted one entire morning because of our forgetfulness. After all that, we needed to send our car to the workshop because it needed some minor repairs. And I still had the headache.

So at the end of the day, we walked to the workshop from our office to get our car. We waited there for an hour before realising that it wasn't going to be ready. And hence, we walked home from the office. And my head was pounding.

As I walked home, I realised that if i were to spend my time pondering over all the stuff that went wrong, I would be spending my time venting out frustrations and anger. Instead, I thought of writing about my pleasures of the day. So let's start again.

When I woke up in the morning, my spouse held my hand and wished me good morning. He peeled a banana for me for breakfast. We saw our new house again, and it seems to be going up quite nicely.

The walk home from work was very nice, we chatted all the way home and I even had an umbrella to shield me from the sun! We spent the night with friends eating shabu shabu (his favourite!) Before we turned in for the night, he massaged my aching head, brought me Panadol and water and hugged me.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I had a good time :)

Demanding for Justice may be an Injustice as whole

2007-01-22T16:21:00.000+08:00

I have not donated any money to beggars for a long time. When I see people just sitting there and begging, I start to feel rather angry, for a lot of them are just going to take your generously-given money to buy cigarettes or drugs. For example, there is this guy with gout on his back who goes around all the churches in Petaling Jaya asking for money. He says, “Praise the Lord Jesus, the King of all Kings!” and then shakes your hand. Next he tells you that he needs money for an operation for his gout. I wouldn’t mind so much, except that he’s been doing that for the past 20 years. I have begun to doubt that he really wants money for operation. In fact, I started to really dislike people who use God’s name for begging. Why can’t they just find decent jobs? I started to believe that one should not give alms to those begging. Although some may actually need money for operation, most of these people are just lying to get money for nothing. By giving them money, we’re doing them more harm than good as we’re telling them that they don’t have to work for money. We’re saying that we will work and give them money for acting pitiful!

Additionally, I felt that I shouldn’t give money to people who would probably use it to destroy their bodies with drugs and cigarettes. My conclusion is that if they want to go destroy their bodies, let it not be with my money. Also, we all deserve what we work for. That is Justice.

But is that really Justice as a whole?

I recently came across this story, and it changed my perceptions.

There are people who actually are forced to sustain their lives through begging. There are disabled people who really need operation, and are selling bookmarks and key chains to get the money they need. Although there are many cunning people who take advantage of society’s generosity, there are many still who unfortunately, need to rely on it.

If I promote my principle of not giving alms to beggars, and if all of us really stop giving, then those who are truly in need will surely die. But those cunning ones would probably find other devious ways to get the money (i.e. steal, cheat or extort). After all, we can’t change their human nature. Am I so naïve to think that I can force them to do actual work rather than begging? If they are determined to get easy money, they will surely find other means of doing so.

Hence if I did succeed in my mission, what would I have achieved in the end? One thing for sure: I would not have gotten rid of lazy individuals who leech on our generous hearts, nor would I have changed the minds of those who are bent on destroying themselves with drugs. Their nature will probably be unchanged and thus, they find other ways. Instead, what I would have achieved is this: I would have left some poor disadvantaged individuals unattended and gotten rid of them even though they have real needs.

In other words, I would have sacrificed some good people who are down on luck without changing those people who are cunning and want free money. What a great injustice!

Unless I am able to distinguish a cunning man from a disadvantaged man, I cannot impose my narrow sense of justice without causing an injustice.

There will always be people who will take advantage of others. This has existed since the dawn of mankind. I cannot change them. But I shall also not cause more grief to men who have real grievances.

From now on, if I see a disabled man selling bookmarks for an operation or for a living, I shall check my purse for some change. If I do have some, it will go to him. I shall no longer concern myself over the cunning man whose nature is not for me to change. In contrast, I shall concern myself over the disadvantaged man, for it is within my power to change his luck.

How I fell in love

2006-12-28T15:18:00.000+08:00

I always thought that falling in love required a lot of effort and time to get to know a person. I had a list of criteria and needs from a partner and so, i always felt that the screening process is part of falling in love. After all, how do I love someone completely if I can't accept a certain trait?

But I was quite wrong. When I met Ye Chow, I had a long list of reasons why it could never work out between us, and why I would never love him as more than a friend. I even shared that list with my family. I knew that we would be great friends, and I knew that he was not someone I could love simply because he didn't match me in a lot of ways.

So I went along my merry way, occasionally telling him that "No, I don't want to be your girlfriend" or "No, I don't want to be your wife" whenever he brought up the subject. I told him so clearly and concisely that we were just friends, that he had almost all but given up.

And one day it hit me really really really really really really REALLY hard.

It happened to be one of those days when we were having a simple dinner in a coffeeshop after a game of badminton. I was just sitting there, eating some veggie and tofu and chatting with him. It wasn't a special dinner. It wasn't a special moment. My heart didn't beat faster, nor did I hear music in the background. In fact, I didn't even have thoughts anything like what I expected myself to have when I fall hard, you know, thoughts like "He makes me whole" or "he completes me".

In fact, all I was thinking about was how nice the moment was, having a warm meal after a tiring game. How I really liked to just sit there with him. And I didn't need anything more than that.

It was then, and only then, that it hit me. It wasn't until that moment that I truly knew what it meant to fall in love. I didn't have any overwhelming emotions. I didn't have any big efforts to put in. I just wanted to be with him, I didn't need anything more than that. I was contented just to sit there with him and watch him eat tofu (which can be rather yucky coz he tends to stuff a lot of veggie and rice into his mouth all at once). It was a very strong feeling of contentment and peace.

That was when I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with a man I just told something like 100000 times, "We can never be more than just friends". In fact, I told the same thing to my parents! What a catastrophe!!!!!!

The first thing I did was to tell all those who needed to know that I was in love with Ye Chow. After a week of explaining to all those involved (I shall not go into the details), I finally told my parents, who were obviously very surprised. And two weeks after I told my parents, Ye Chow proposed AGAIN (without a ring). And I said "yes", knowing fully well that we had a long road ahead of us. My parents won't get over the shock easily (only 2 weeks with him and I was telling them about marriage). I would have plenty of problems with my ex. My friends would question the speed of the whole thing. And I had to meet his parents as his girl friend! AND, we had a wedding to plan on top of all that. But, it was well worth it, just to know that I could be sitting contentedly with him. I never felt as much peace before.

They said it doesn't take more than a second start falling in love. I agree and disagree. Sometimes, for people who are dense, it takes them a few months to realise it. But it takes less than a second after it hits them to make the final decision to love someone else.

That's how I fell in love anyway.

Soap-opera in the blogsphere...

2006-12-28T13:38:00.000+08:00

I recently read the Wee-Shu-Min-Derek-Wee-cyber-soap-opera. For the uninformed, Derek Wee wrote this on his blog:

"Many of my peers, bright and well educated have packed up and left. It’s what MM Goh called “quitters”. It’s sad but true, Singapore no longer is a place where one can hope to work hard their lives and retire graciously. It’s really the push factor. A future is something we sweat it out, build and call our own. Unfortunately, people like me, mid 30’s going on 40’s, staying put by choice or otherwise, we can’t help but feel what lies ahead is really a gamble.
To PM Lee and the Ministers, we are on a different platform. Until you truly understand our insecurity, the future of Singapore to me remains a question mark." (2 Oct 2006)

Days later, Wee Shu Min posted this on her blog:

"Derek is one of many wretched, undermotivated, overassuming leeches in our country, and in this world. one of those who would prefer to be unemployed and wax lyrical about how his myriad talents are being abandoned for the foreigner’s, instead of earning a decent, stable living as a sales assistant. it’s not even about being a road sweeper. these shitbags don’t want anything without “manager” and a name card. Please, get out of my elite uncaring face." (19 Oct, 2006)

Shu Min's blog entry caused quite a huge uproar in Singapore. She eventually took down her blog, but it didn't stop there. Popular forums in Singapore and even Canada had something unkind to say about her. Those who decided to give her a break only did so because she is "only 18 and may not know much about the real world". Overnight, Shu Min went from a smart student attending a top junior college in Singapore to being witch-hunted in cyberspace. She was hung and burnt on stake over the blogsphere despite her public apology.

I read so many comments stating that she has such an elitist view because she was born with a silver spoon and doesn't know what it is really like to have to work hard in life. I found myself pondering on a few points in this whole soap-opera-like drama. Firstly, why do we bother to lock, aim and shoot someone else's point of view? Is it important that we refute everything she says? Is it necessary to bring her to her knees over this?

She has a own value system that may differ from ours. I personally can't say I agree with her thoughts, but I don't see why I should impose my values on her. She isn't my child nor is she my younger sister. It is not in my place to "teach" her my values. If her family has that value system, and taught her just that, then it is not for us to tell her that her perspectives are wrong.

The point is this: You don't have to agree with her. But it doesn't mean you can disrespect her. You don't have to like what she says. But it doesn't mean you should argue with her, hunt her down on cyber space (to the extent of dragging up her bikini pictures) and embarrass her. Why react with anger, disappointment and disgust over someone else's view of life? Why judge her?

By being harsh and critical towards another person, we invite harshness and criticism over our own actions. If we judge another, we will automatically judge ourselves, and our loved ones as well. We open the door to suffering because we thought what we are doing or saying is right. Even if our thoughts and views may be on a higher moral ground than Shu Min's, we drag ourselves to suffer anger and criticism along with her if we are to judge her comments or her upbringing.

The fact is that we can't change her upbringing. If she is born rich, that is her fate. By being overly-critical on her life and her so-called elitist comments, we may succeed in muzzling her. But we will not change her perspectives in life that have been ingrained into the core of her value system. By arguing our well-thought-out and morally-and-politically-correct case, we succeed only in making ourselves feel superior at her expense.

You know the infamous story about pointing a finger at someone (three fingers would point back at ourselves). The truth is that if you judge someone based on what they are wearing (Gucci shoes...check, Louis Vuitton bag...check, Chanel suit...check), you will need to spend a lot of money to dress up as well. Whether you realise it or not, you are suffering. You will eventually always feel insecure whatever you wear, or always feel that you may not have enough. Similarly, if you judge someone based on the house they live in, you will always be critical over the size of your own house.

If we criticise Shu Min today, we will be criticising ourselves tomorrow. After all, we have to keep to the same moral standards that we set for others (or in some cases, we may feel we need to exceed them). Why give ourselves so much pressure? Will such conditions really spur us to grow into better people? If you rear one horse in a wide and peaceful meadow, and another in a crowded and busy city, you can probably guess which horse will be the healthier (and happier) of the two. I prefer peaceful conditions. And I wish for Shu Min, and everyone else, to find peace in their tiny little portion of this earth.

Why You Shouldn’t go to Bed Angry

2006-12-12T14:28:00.000+08:00

I must confess, I had a small misunderstanding with Ye Chow recently. He was reading a book which is a compilation of short stories written by some guy a few centuries ago. The stories describe the daily lives of him and his neighbourhood, as well as some rumours and strange happenings. It sounded very interesting, and I wanted to share the moment with him. The problem was that he was reading a Chinese book and since I can’t read a word of Chinese, I asked him to translate for me as he went along.

He took it as me distracting him and not letting him read the book. In the end, he went to the hall area to read. And I got pretty mad, so I went to sleep.

And I had a really awful dream.

***
Ye Chow and I were in our car, driving along the road to get to a shopping complex in the heart of Kuala Lumpur. We noticed that there had been a bad accident. There were a few cars at the side of the road that seemed very badly damaged. In fact, one of them was lying on the pavement in two pieces!! And there were bundles of clothes everywhere. I averted my eyes since I can’t bear to see accidents. It was then that I noticed something really weird. The road that we were driving on had pools of red puddles. In fact, as we travelled further, the red puddles were larger and larger until it appeared as if we were driving on a red road. There were more damaged cars, and horror of horrors, it finally dawned onto me that those sack of clothes that were increasing in numbers were actually mutilated bodies! I wanted to shut my eyes, but my curiosity was so strong that I couldn’t help but look harder. Some bodies appeared to be cut into two, which was why I couldn’t recognize them as human corpses. Some were strewing from the damaged cars (which also appeared to be smashed into two), while some were pretty much scattered in smaller pieces all over the road. I could even smell blood.

I was so horrified that I didn’t notice Ye Chow’s reactions until he spoke up. He wanted to stop at a nearby shop and just stay indoors. He didn’t think it was a good idea to continue driving on the road where the number of “accidents” seems to be increasing. So we stopped and walked into a small grocery shop. There, we found a lot of people huddling together watching a small TV set in the corner of the store. Most of them had a look of disbelief, while others had a really blank stare. The owner of the shop, a big Indian man behind the counter, told us that a gigantic-size tractor just went by 20-30 minutes ago. That tractor was attacking other vehicles. He had heard a lot of screaming and screeching of tyres, and the sound of metal crunching. On the TV set, a special news report on TV3 had pre-empted all other programs.

Apparently, a couple of teens had stolen an experimental vehicle from the Agricultural Research Institute. It was indeed a gigantic-size tractor, designed for harvesting paddy (rice). It had a detachable loader in the front and backhoe at the back, which would convert the tractor into a very strong vehicle for construction purposes. The machine was so powerful that it purportedly could do the job of 3-4 other tractors. The only problem was that in the hands of two reckless teens on a murderous spree.

A video feed from the news station helicopter showed the tractor “attacking” motorcyclist and motorists along its path. While many motorists can speed away in their far more powerful cars, many motorcyclists were not so lucky. The backhoe had an extendable arm that could easily nudge the motorcyclist to ground, after which the two boys would drive over the wounded and kill them. They also used the front loader to damage any cars that were parked at the side of the road.

The scene was so awful. On the TV screen, we could see people dying. Outside the window of the shop, we could see so much blood and corpses. I felt so nauseated. Ye Chow told me we couldn’t stay in the shop forever, as more and more people were coming in. We should probably get into our car and go home where it would be safe. I was so afraid to go out that I wanted to object vehemently, but when he walked out, I found myself following after him very numbly. Although I was screaming inside, I couldn’t utter a word. I just couldn’t find my voice to object to driving out there where the teen boys were still on the loose.

Throughout the drive home, I would find my heart pounding and ears ringing at every turn. I wanted to look out at every junction, but I found myself looking the opposite direction. It was as if I was two people at the same time. One person wanted to be cautious, alert and careful. The other person wanted to hide away, deny the danger, and do nothing.

And suddenly, the world seemed fake to me. When I looked out the front windscreen, I saw a world of colours that were not real. I saw that life was always going to end in death. I saw that whether I died under a tractor at the age of 25 or on a hospital bed at the age of 80, it would not make much of a difference to the world. These colours were not real, nor permanent. I would take nothing of it with me when the tractor comes. I turned to look at the man driving beside me. He looked so unfamiliar now. Just another human body next to me. I did not recognise his face anymore. But when he glanced at me, I recognised his presence. The face meant nothing.

Outside, the road was still red. There were police cars and ambulances going the opposite direction towards the city. Yet I didn’t feel like I was a part of the world anymore.

And then I woke up.
***

The first thing I did was to get Ye Chow to apologize to me and sort out the misunderstanding. You really should never go to bed angry.

Chia-Shan and his first light

2006-11-23T11:07:00.000+08:00

This is a classic story (Taoism) that was very well translated. I leave it here to share it with you:

Chia-Shan and his First Light
One of my favorite Zen stories is that of the Boat monk. The story teaches the dharma and illustrates the high Zen literary style.Seems that a group of monks attained some degree of the Tao under a famous Zen teacher, Master Yao-shan. One of them was Teh-cheng and his dharma brothers were Yun-men and Tao-wu. Master Teh-cheng knew he didn't have the personality to teach a large number of people or run a monastery, so he told his brothers to send him someone of exceptional talent when they found one rather than open up a teaching center himself.

As is the rule, his job would also be to transmit the dharma to a qualified student if he could find one, but without a teaching center, he had no way to attract a student. Therefore his dharma brothers would have to send someone who had the karmic affinity with Teh-cheng for awakening. So he told them, "You know where I am staying. If you find a student of sharp potential, send him to me so that I may transmit the dharma."

Years later, it just so happened that Teh-cheng's dharma brother Tao-wu was attending a lecture by a famous monk, named Chia-shan, who already had a great following. Chia-shan knew all about the dharma and was extremely eloquent. He could respond to every question with the proper words, and yet he lacked the dharma eye...he lacked any true stage of attainment. Ask him any question and he could respond with the right words ... but without the dharma eye, everything was actually wrong because it could enlighten no one. He knew the words but did not know the real meaning -- he had not achieved it.

His case was like the intellectuals today who study the Bible, Koran, Buddhist sutras, Torah, or any such book or sets of books, know all the perfect words to use so that they sound as if they are in accord with the traditional teachings, and yet everything they say lacks any touch with True Reality. Why? Because those folks have no cultivation attainment themselves. They are dogma literalists rather than enlightened sages. So while they may be intellectually brilliant they are spiritually bereft, and cannot lead anyone to liberation.

That's the state of the world. That's 99.999999999999% of teachers and religious professionals out there.

So while attending the lecture, Master Tao-wu just kept himself quiet and concealed, but he snickered when Chia-shan answered a question correctly ... in order to attract attention. After it was over, Chia-shan respectfully approached master Tao-wu and asked what mistake he had made that his elder had done so.

Tao-wu replied, "You answered correctly, it's just that you've never been taught by a good teacher. I never explain things. If you want to learn, you must go to visit the boatman's place at the city of Hau-ting (where the Boatman Monk Teh-cheng was staying)."

Now because he really was interested in self-improvement, Chia-shan set off right away. This, in itself, shows he was of extraordinary character and not too full of himself. Chia-shan was right in theory, but did not have a real experience of the dharma, yet didn't know it. He thought he was right, but also suspected that he was wrong, that he was missing something though everything he said was correct and according to the scriptures. Amazingly, he was willing to take advice and was anxious to find the answer despite already being established and having a great reputation, so off he went. Would you do that? Now at the location, the dharma brother Teh-cheng had settled into a job ferrying people across a river, and had done so for several decades waiting for a good student. No one knew of his high stage of attainment. When the young monk arrived, with one look he knew that he had been cultivating and had some ability, but needed to be awakened to a true direct experience of the dharma. He needed a real, direct experience of the Tao. He knew all the right words, the sutras, the dharma and so forth, but he was clinging to all these explanations and his conceptualizations. He had become an intellectual master rather than reality master. He could not let go of them to realize no-self, no-ego, emptiness. Therefore he had not attained the Tao.

Upon meeting young master Chia-shan, who knew all the correct words but had no direct taste of reality, Teh-cheng opened up the conversation by asking, "What temple do you dwell in, oh virtuous one?"

Chia-shan answered with words that point to the Tao, though of course he did not have that stage of attainment: "I do not dwell in a temple. Dwelling is not like it."

Why did he say this? Because the original nature is not a state, and if you dwell or abide in any state it is NOT the Tao. Chia-shan was saying he understood the Tao by answering in such a way because a regular monk would simply have mentioned the name of his city or monastery.

The boatman then asked, "It is not like what?"

Chia-shan once again correctly answered the correct intellectual response, "It is not the phenomena before our eyes." Because Chia-shan kept answering correctly, but without without possessing the true dharma experience himself, it was like someone who would respond with the right scriptural retort from the Bible ... though everything said was everything right and you could not find any fault with it, you could tell they were wrong. I'm sure you've had that experience because it is hard to explain.

A little bit disgusted at these canned responses, the Boat monk Teh-Cheng then asked, "Where did you learn all this (way of answering)?"

Chia-shan answered, "It is not something that the eyes or ears can reach," meaning it ultimately comes from the Tao. This time Chia-shan replied in such a way that you could take it as a smirk, with the hidden meaning being, "I know this and you don't? Who are you that you don't know these things?"

With that response, the Boatman monk then uttered a famous line, "A fitting sentence can be a stake that tethers a donkey for 10,000 aeons."

In other words, if you just cling to scripture, or intellectualization, or the words of this or that holy text without arriving at a genuine experience of the true meaning, if you don't experience the original nature, you will tie yourself up in ignorance (non-enlightenment) for aeons and never become free. Why? Because you cling to the intellect, in which case you are wrong. Words will not save you, scripture will not save you. Only cultivation practice and realization will save you!

How many people follow this pattern today? They quote the Torah and cling to it, all the while being correct in words, but WRONG. They cling to the Bible, reciting verses and sentences correctly, and yet they lack any attainment or any means for getting anywhere. They cling to the Koran, the Buddhist sutras, Taoist works and they are all wrong. They never fathom the meaning of the texts. They never reach enlightenment or samadhi or any genuine stage of attainment. They can talk about things all they want, but these are just intellectuals rather than spiritual leaders, people who know a lot about religious things but cannot lead you to the Tao. This is all you find today in churches, temples, mosques and monasteries. No one has the enlightenment eye, or even an inkling that it exists ... and they are even oblivious on how to get there. "

A fitting sentence can be a stake that tethers a donkey for 10,000 aeons" -- Master Teh-cheng was saying that Chia-shan was clinging to the dharma and relying on verbal tricks, and that this was stupid. It would get you absolutely nowhere on the path of true spiritual practice and striving and progress. It was just mental games, verbal tricks and memorization. REAL accomplishment comes from the cultivation practice of letting go and detaching from the realm of mentation to get to the substrate underneath it and EVERTHING. "

A fitting sentence can be a stake that tethers a donkey for 10,000 aeons" ... Chia-shan was stunned at this reply.

Zen master Teh-cheng then said, "The fishing line is hanging down a thousand feet, and the intent is deep in the pond. You're just three inches away from the hook. Why don't you say something?"

He was saying, "You've done so much meditation work your life and are so close you're ready to reach it. Why not say something expressing your original nature?" Chia-shan was standing there, his mind emptied a bit because of the shock, and was just about to say something intellectual again when the Boat monk hit him with his oar and knocked him into the water.

Wham!

Chia-shan had just been ready to open his mouth again and say something that was in the scriptures when the Boat monk knocked the daylights out of him and he flew into the water.

As soon as Chia-shan's head popped up above the water again, the Boat monk once again shouted, "Speak! Speak!" and just as Chia-shan was about to open his mouth again, Wham! ... the Boat monk hit him again.

Now if you've had any sudden taste of emptiness where everything empties out (a religious experience), you can understand what happened next. Here's a man with a belly full of learning and it's all suddenly knocked out of him. He's been thrown into the water, he's worried for his life, and all his false thoughts have been whacked away.

That's the method the Boat monk used with Chia-shan.

Chia-shan could talk about anything in the dharma ... Consciousness only, the three Buddha bodies, skandhas, True Thusness, prajna wisdom, EVERYTHING. He understand all this but couldn't let go of it, so the Boat monk knocked him into the water to help him let go of everything he was clinging to. Even so, when asked to speak, Chia-shan was ready to spit out the dead scriptural words again, so Teh-cheng hit him again. When for the third time his head rose above the water, this time his mind had emptied out and he and become enlightened, so Chia-shan quickly nodded his head three times in quick succession to show Teh-cheng he had got it and he didn't need to be hit again.

Of course you cannot just hit someone to enlighten them. Don't think it's so easy. Chia-shan not only KNEW the dharma intellectually, but had spent his life meditating and had achieved some degree of emptiness, but just couldn't let go of his intellectualizations to see the path, to see the whole thing. He was close because of his previous attainments in meditation, but still clinging. He already had achieved a deep basis of cultivation beyond just studying, because of prolonged meditation work, and that basis is why Tao-wu sent him to the Boat monk. He was prepared....don't think someone can just whack you or slap you and you get it. Without countless years of meditation work, that would just get you a lawsuit today.

Master Teh-cheng was able to transmit the dharma only because Chia-shan had already spent years mixing practice with study. Master Teh-cheng was able, through the expedient means of whacking him, to help Master Chia-shan let go of everything and see the Path, see the Tao, realize self-enlightenment. If Master Chia-shan had not been a meditator, however, none of this would have been possible. So don't think that just studying scriptures and sutras -- of any kind -- will do it. You have to do the meditation work, open up your chi channels, chakras and so forth. You have to cultivate samadhi, but none of that is the Tao. It's just a preparation because those are all still illusory realms and false stations. They are not ultimate or supreme. They are there to help you clear out in a progressive sense, but when you reach enlightenment there are no stages -- you just let go of everything in one fell swoop. That's why it's called breaking through the conception skandha.

Upon being hit with the oar when in the water, Chia-shan GOT IT. His years of preparation and study, together with the Boatman's excellent skillful means, enabled him to let go, empty out and see the Tao. If you know the theory, that's why the story is so beautiful, so wonderful. But then, while still in the water, Chia-shan asked, "If you throw away the hook and line, what is your intent, teacher?"

In other words, Chia-shan then had doubts and asked about functioning. He was asking, "What about the methods for making an effort in the realm of existence if everything is empty... What do you do about them?"

Master Teh-cheng replied, "The fishing line hangs in the water, floating to set the meaning of existence and non-existence." In other words, don't talk of emptiness and don't talk of existence. Neither is right, and thus you don't cling to either and you can do what you want independently. You are free and liberated. Cause and effect still operates amidst phenomena, but you do not cling to them or the process. You realize the inherent fundamental emptiness of phenomena but you do not cling to it either. You are independent and free.

Master Chia-shan then said, "Words carry the mystery but they have no road. The tongue speaks without speaking." In other words, speaking is the same as non-speaking, emptiness and existence are equivalent to one another.

Master Teh-cheng was VERY happy at hearing this because then he knew Chia-shan had got it. He knew that Chia-shan had finally realized the Truth and was speaking from experience rather than from some scripture he had memorized and studied. So Teh-cheng then said, "After having fished through all these rivers [having piloted this ferry day after day for decades wanting to carry someone over to the other side], I have finally encountered a golden carp [enlightened person].

Chia-shan covered his ears at hearing this, and master Teh-shan said in response, "That's right, that's right!"

Then he told Chia-shan, "From now on you must leave no tracks where you hide yourself. But you must not hide yourself where there are no tracks."

He expressed in a high literary style many meanings: that Chia-shan must continually cultivate that state of no-thought/emptiness he had just achieved wherein there are no tracks. Furthermore, he must go somewhere where no one knew who he was, and leave his fame behind, and thus go into hiding in order to finish his cultivation. He also said that Chia-shan must not remain clinging to emptiness either, for that was also wrong.

The Boat monk then continued, "I was with Zen master Yao-shan for 30 years and I only took away this which you have just experienced/realized. Nothing more. You have just attained it. This is the meaning of all the teachings and nothing more. It's nothing else either than experientially realizing this. In the future you should not live in towns or villages but go deep into the mountains, find one or two people to continue the teaching and do not let it be cut off."

Chia-shan was out of the water by this time, and since the dharma had been transmitted, he started off to return home. The whole thing happened just this quickly, the dharma had been passed, and there was nothing more to be done. But for a moment Master Chia-shan doubted that was all and so he turned around, wandering if there was something else he was missing, if it all came to just this?

Upon seeing this, Zen master Teh-cheng shouted back to him, holding up an oar and saying, "Did you think there was something else?" Then he capsized the boat and disappeared under the water to show there was nothing else. You see, if you cling to all the pageantry of Tibetan Buddhism, you are wrong. It's just an expedient method created to help you REALIZE THIS. If you cling to the Torah or Bible, you are wrong. It's just to help you lay a foundation so you can experientially realize this. Nothing in the universe is absolute. The wind, the rocks, the flowers are all singing the dharma to help you awaken.

The meaning of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Sikhism, Taoism, Confucianism, yoga, alchemy and all the religions is to realize our fundamental nature. All the ceremonies, scriptures, prayers, and practices are to enable you to experientially realize THIS. That's the purpose of all the scriptures.

What else did you think it was about? Some ceremony or special belief?

Now you finally know. Cultivate!

Get to know Malaysia - Wesak Day festival

2006-11-22T11:04:00.000+08:00

Well, firstly do understand how important Wesak day is to Buddhists all over Malaysia. It is a day of equal importance as Christmas and Easter combined in the Christian calendar! This day marks the birth, enlightenment and final passing away of the Buddha. The Buddha was born as Prince Siddharta Gautama on a full moon day in the month of Wesak (month of May in present day calendar) in 623 BC.

On the morning of tis day, Buddhist devotees will gather in temples throughout Malaysia, wearing simple clothing with no make-up or jewellery. Drums are beaten to announce the arrival of this day, and devotees gather to release doves and to offer prayers. Alms are given to monks and free meals to the needy. Devotees gathered in temples and halls would read the holy scriptures and listen to the monks recite ancient stories of Buddha. Candles are lit and prayers are offered.

I attended a Wesak day celebration this year for the very first time (I am Catholic and know nothing about the rituals of Wesak day). Here, I will describe the events for the day. Please do correct any errors I may have made in my descriptions!

Monks offering prayers and beating drums

When u enter the main hall where devotees gather, the first thing you will probably notice is the "stage" where statues of Buddha are placed and a couple of monks would be praying (chanting). Their sweet voices fill the air, setting the prayerful mood for the place.

Sprinkling water onto the statue of Buddha

Little fountains were also set up around the hall where devotees would take turns to sprinkle some water onto a miniature statue of Buddha and offer prayers. I suppose this is quite similar to the Veneration of the cross during Easter celebrations. I also noticed some devotees lighting candles before offering some prayers. I asked my companion what this ritual means and was told that it represents a continuing journey towards enlightenment, whereby the heart was "dark" before and now a light shines inside.

Lighting Candles

Placing the lit candle onto a tower of candles!

In another area, a little stream was created and channeled to circle some statues of honourable figures in history. Devotees walk slowly through the little stream; some chanting, and others in silence. The children, of course, were happily playing...I supposed it's like a mini Disneyland for them, with the fountains and streams and all....

Walking on stones through a stream in prayer

So if you ever have a chance to visit Malaysia during Wesak day, be sure to drop by the temples and Chinese halls and you will find a lot to learn!

Analogy of a Relationship

2006-11-22T10:52:00.000+08:00

Imagine you are a young 16 year-old walking through a HUGE field of red flowers. After about 10 steps, you see an extra-large red flower. You are very attracted to it. You bend to pick it, but you find it has thorns. So you give up on the idea.

You continue walking along and come across a cute yellow flower with 3 petals. You bend to pick it. You feel happy holding onto a nice flower. You continue walking and after about a mile, the flower started to smell funny. You ignore the smell, but it gets worse and worse, so eventually you toss it away. Now you are flowerless.

You continue walking and walking and find another flower, this time blue with six petals. You happily pick it up. But after walking a bit, you find that you don't like the colour blue after all. After walking amidst flowers for so long, you have come to decide you prefer white flowers with five petals. So you toss your blue flower away and begin searching for the flower you have in mind.

You walk everywhere, looking left and right. After roughly 20 miles of walking, you finally found the flower that fits your expectation. Happily you pick it up. It even smells great. It is a large flower with 5 perfect petals. You continue your journey across the field of flowers, convinced that you have the right one. As you walk and walk, the flower begins to wilt. But it still looks ok, and you think you may be able to make it back home in time to save it by putting it into a vase. So you begin to run. The hot sun beats down and your flower is wilting faster than you can run. You are so desperate that you try to provide it with some of your saliva to extend its lifespan. Unfortunately, it dried up and shriveled. You continue holding on to it, hoping that it will go back to being the wonderful flower it was. But after walking for another 30miles, you realise that it is futile. What you could have done, you already did, and it didn't stop the flower from wilting. Perhaps it is better to let it go.

Dejected, you placed the dead flower on the ground where you are standing and pick up the closest flower you can find. The flower is reddish, with pink tips on each of the six petals. You continue walking across the huge field, holding the new flower. You walk and walk and walk and as you are making your way to the end of the field, you start thinking about the floweryou just picked. You don't really like red. You don't mind pink. But you are making this journey with this flower because you want to have a flower. It feels wrong. Eventually, after 20 miles of journeying with the red flower, you let it go.

Now you decide that maybe none of the flowers are worth bringing home, or maybe you are just not very good at keeping flowers in your hand. You press on, hoping to eventually get off the field. After another 20 miles of non-stop walking, you take a short break. As you sit there, you notice another white flower with 5 petals nearby. It didn't look anything like the earlier white flower but you like it anyway. You stare at it for a while, and then you pluck it and hold it in your hand. Then you continue along your journey.

The long journey across the field continues, but you found new ways of keeping the flower alive. Your efforts work well with the flower, and it bloomed. When you finally reach the end of the field, you don't really notice.

The Story of Two Monks

2006-10-27T10:54:00.000+08:00

Two monks had to travel to the nearest town to buy some supplies for their temple. Since their temple was quite secluded, they had left their temple at around four in the morning. They walked slowly to the town, and arrived at 10am. After buying all that was needed for their temple, they started making their way back around 11.

One hour into their journey home, they came across a river. They decided to stop for a while to take a short break. They drank their water and sat down next to the river to rest their tired legs. Just then, a young lady walked towards them. She was a beautiful lady, with fair porcelain-like skin and willowy body. She looked distressed. She wanted to cross the river, but she did not know how to swim! So the elder monk told her to climb onto his back and he will carry her across. She was still apprehensive that the river might sweep her away when they are crossing. So he told her to hold on tight to him.

As they were crossing the river, the second monk, a young chap, looked over at the elder monk. He was aghast to see the young lady holding so tightly to his companion, who also happened to be his superior in the temple. Her body was pressed onto the elder monk’s back and her bosom was pushed up onto the neck of the man. His face was so very close to her bosom! This was unacceptable!!! As monks, they were not supposed to touch women! And here his mentor is practically making love to the young lady!

Just then, they reached to the other side of the river. The elder monk set the young lady onto her feet. She thanked him, and continued along her journey. The two monks went a different direction from her, back to their temple. As they continued their walk back, the younger monk kept thinking about how the lady and the elder monk held on to each other as they crossed the river. The elder monk is such a corrupt monk! He is a lecherous man! All his teachings were tainted, as he couldn’t even keep to the most basic of rules which was to stay away from women!

The more the younger monk thought about it, the angrier he became. He started questioning everything the else monk had been doing up to that moment. He was repulsed by all the words and interaction they have had. He couldn’t imagine going on as a apprentice monk under the supervision of such a man. As they approached the temple gates, he turned to the elder monk and told him that he wanted to change superiors.

The elder monk was very surprised. He had thought they were doing well, and could not understand why the younger monk wanted to change superiors all of the sudden. The younger monk, his face red with anger and embarrassment for the elder monk, told him that he was very improper to carry the young lady that way. It was not right, it was against their teachings, and it showed his weakness and lust for women!

The elder monk looked at his student compassionately. “I had put the young lady down by the river four hours ago,” he said, “But you have carried her until now. What a pity!”

Sebastian and his neighbour

2006-10-20T11:08:00.000+08:00

Sebastian was a simple man. Yet he was a happy man. He woke up everyday and sang about the bright and lovely sun, even on a cloudy and rainy day when the sun was hidden behind a thick mass of clouds. He looked outside his window every evening and was happy to see the beautiful world outside, even on days of haze, miserable winters and traffic congestions. He would drive his wife up the wall, for he was just totally oblivious to his immediate surroundings.

Sebestian had a neighbour who disliked him immensely. His neighbour would tell all the others staying at the same block, about how inconsiderate Sebastian was, and how proud he was. "Sebastian always does his own thing without any consideration for anyone else. He is so selfish", he would say, "look, he planted a tree right next to my fence and all the leaves fall onto my lawn. What a nasty guy!". Sometimes he would say "Sebastian had another woman over in his house today, I bet he is cheating on his wife".

But Sebastian never knew about these words, or maybe he did not remember them. For many others had gone up to him either to question him suspiciously, or to inform him kindly to beware of his neighbour. Yet he never seemed to notice, and would happily continue along his way without even noticing his neighbour's angry stare. Perhaps he had a poor memory, or perhaps he was stupid, or perhaps he was very bold, no one really knew for sure. All they knew was that he always said "oh ok!" when they either questioned him or tell him about what was being said about him. And that was that.

One day, his neighbour went over to Sebastian's house and chopped down the tree that was in between the two houses. Sebastian woke up in the morning to see only the tree stump left. His neighbour was sitting calmly in his own front porch, waiting for Sebastian to confront him. He was waiting to tell Sebastian, "You deserve it, you inconsiderate fool. Do you think I want to sweep your stupid leaves everyday from my yard? You asked for your tree to be chopped!" Sebastian ran out from his house to his neighbour's porch and when he was face to face with his neighbour, he said "Thanks so much for chopping down my tree. Now I have more space in my yard. You are very kind!" With that, he shoke his neighbour's hand and sang a little song as he walked back to his house. His neighbour was livid! "Is he trying to be sarcastic? He is deliberately doing this to annoy me, that little rat!" he thought in anger.

So the next day, he went over to Sebastian's house and pulled up all the flowers. Sebastian woke up in the morning to see all the hard work he had put into gardening all lying dead on the broken soil. He paused for a moment, and then went up to his neighbour (who was waiting on the front porch of his house). Sebastian said, "You are so kind to allow me to plant something new in my garden. I had become rather attached to those flowers and would never have been able to get rid of them without your kind help. Now perhaps I can go plant some herbs instead!" And he sang a merry tune as he made his way back to the garden.

His neighbour was even more angry than before. Soon, all the residents of the block knew about how cruel, manipulative and calculative Sebastian was. But Sebastian was oblivious to their angry stares and suspicious glances. He walked happily about his neighbourhood smiling at all who passed him and thought to himself, "what a beautiful world, so full of wonderful people".

At this point, his neighbour had reigned in some support from other fellow neighbours. Together they plotted to splash paint all over Sebastian's house to teach him a lesson. Some wrote "Get out of this place!" or "Move away, we don't want you" or even "Everyone hates you!!" on the exterior walls of his house. When Sebastian woke up in the morning, he found his peach-coloured house splashed with red, green and yellow. He read all the words slowly. And he looked up towards his neighbour. This time, his neighbour was sitting at the front porch with a group of his friends, drinking tea and laughing at the hated Sebastian.

Sebastian waved at them and said "Good morning!! It's really nice to meet you all!" And he smiled happily as he went to the store to get fresh paint. Sebastian spent the rest of the day painting his house a new colour: Ivory. He sang happily and merrily as he did so, and when his neighbour and friends jeered at him, he only waved happily and continued along his way.

That night, Sebastian's wife could not take it anymore. She berated him, "You stupid man, our neighbour is making a fool of you. He has gone around saying all sorts of things about you. You need to go explain yourself to everyone else, otherwise they will mistake you for someone wicked. You need to make them see what a horrid and wicked man our neighbour is! He has done all sort of mischiefs like chopping our wonderful and shady tree, pulling up all our hard-grown flowers and wrote a lot of disgusting things on our walls. That is harrassment and you have to right to sue him!!!"

Sebastian looked at his wife for a long time in silence. He then said, "I don't understand why you say our neighbour is such a wicked man. He is a very nice man. He has helped me so much with the garden and the repainting of our house. He is a kind and loving man. See, he even brought a group of his friends to help cheer me on as I paint." His wife said, "They are not cheering you on, they are jeering at you. Didn't you hear what they said? They said 'paint away, you stupid man! Selfish people have to work harder because they deserve it!'. Can't you see that? Or are you really stupid?" And Sebastian replied, "Isn't that the same as cheering? How kind they are!"

At this point, his wife shook her head and made plans to convince Sebastian to move out of the neighbourhood. She went to bed fretting and angry that all the residents around them hated her husband so much.

His neighbour went to bed thinking what a stupid, calculative, manupulative, wicked and nasty man Sebastian was. He will tell everyone about Sebastian's wicked ways and chase the moron our of his house!

Sebastian went to bed thinking what a beautiful and wonderful world it is that he lived in. People are caring and kind, and so very helpful. Tomorrow the sun will be bright and lovely, and he couldn't wait to see it!

Making wedding plans

2006-10-17T14:32:00.000+08:00

You know, wedding plans are actually very simple if only people would let go of their need to impress others. For instance, who cares if the church is decorated with flowers and ribbons? You are only going to be in there for 1 hour, and your focus should be on God, not on the decor. Who cares about giving wedding favours? If you are there to watch the person wed, isn't that enough? Why do you need some useless stuff as a "souvenir"? As if you are actually going to keep the gift as a "remembrance of So-and-so's wedding". Most likely, the only ppl who would keep anything is the bride and her mother.

And what is the big fuss about the wedding dress? Who cares if it is made of french lace, or a normal white linen cloth, or has intricate beading, or was designed by some international designer? After 6 months, the only thing anyone will remember is the fact that it was white. In fact, ask 10 guys right after the wedding what they thought of the bride's dress and at least 9 of them will say, "isn't it white?" If they can't even notice the details of the dress, would they care to look at your shoes? And your nails? So tell me, why spend $500 on a pair of shoes that no one gives a damn about? And $60 for a manicure that no one (other than your best friend) will notice?

And wait. What is the deal with the dinner banquet? Does it have to be in a 5-star hotel, or top chinese restaurant? Do we even really need a bloody dinner with 200 guests and each person only gets to spend 5 minutes of a 4-hour dinner with the newlyweds? Who cares if the bride changes 3 times? If she's ugly, she will look ugly whatever she wears. If she is pretty, she will look pretty in what she wears. Does she really need to change 3 times? Do i really think she looks any different in a different dress? Why does dinner have to drag on until 12am just so that I can look at the bride and groom from afar?

And wait. There's more. Why do you need to spend literally hundreds and thousands of ringgit on just one day? I think it is purely selfish and that you are just paying to have your egos stroked. Why not spend all that money on something more meaningful like donating to the war victims or something? I think it would be more meaningful to write in your invitation card that there will be no big celebration except for the 1-hour church wedding. However, there will be a large donation made to a charitable organization with all your guests names on it to celebrate the wedding. Wouldn't that be something?

Seriously. I think the commercialism of weddings these days is a disease. Brides rush out to find their dream dress and try to fulfil their dream wedding without even thinking of the marriage itself. So you spend 3 months agonizing over every detail of the wedding day (which will last all of 24 hours) without spending much time agonizing over the lifetime you have to spend with the man. And after 3 months, the wedding day itself will go by very quickly. Within the week, you are just another married couple. Big deal. THat is the truth of weddings.

There are a lot more things to think about than the wedding day. There are the nitty-gritty details of two very different characters that will have to come together and gel as one. For instance, he will have to deal with a grouchy and unreasonable woman who will surface once every month (inadvertedly, it will normally be around her time-of-the-month...but it is a coincidence, really...). She will have to deal with his detachment when he's tired. He will have to deal with her obsessive compulsive tendencies. She will have to deal with his bad breath in the morning. He will have to deal with having to sleep next to someone who always steals the blanket. She will have to deal with his adversion to "have a talk".

Bottomline is, instead of spending so much time with wedding plans, we need to spend more time on marriage plans. We need to draw out our routines and chores, needs and idiosyncrisies, and learn to deal with each other whilst maintaining our individuality. I don't have to change to accommodate you. I just need to accept you and to support you. You don't have to agree that it is fun to spend money on new shoes. You just have to love me enough to shop with me and accept that I love spending my time and money that way (and occasionally stop me when i go nuts and intend to spend RM5,000 on shoes). I don't have to accept that the best way to fix the TV is to kick it. But I can let you kick it and then quietly dial for the TV repair man when you're not at home.

At the end of the day, marriage plans last until death do us part. Marriage plans will continue being planned until death do us part. Wedding plans are too short-sighted. It is nice and good if you want a have a big wedding. But think again. What's the use of having a huge celebration when your marriage might only last 2 years? Or worse, you may end up living in misery until your spouse dies. What's the meaning of such a celebration? I rather wait until I am married for 40 years before having a big wedding celebration. That way, i know what I am really celebrating.

Come sing to me

2006-09-27T15:22:00.000+08:00

She was lonely again. As always, he left for work without so much as a glance at her. It never used to be this way. He had always looked at her so lovingly. But now, he does not even notice her anymore. She felt so invisible. She asked herself this morning as she had asked so many times before, 'Why do I continue to stay in this house?'. Yet she always remained where she was, never moving out and never even able to tell him how she felt.

They had met in Paris, on a bright summer day four years ago. It was love at first sight...for him anyway. She actually didn't think much of him when they first met. He had walked into the art gallery and although there were many others who were equally as beautiful as her, he noticed her right away. She could still remember how his eyes had swept all over the room before settling down on her. Once he had noticed her, he never took his eyes off her. He had walked purposefully over to her and within the hour, brought her back to his hotel. She had many suitors before, but no one had enough to offer to capture her. Oh, he had all the right qualities, he was extremely wealthy, intelligent, handsome and suave.

Back at his hotel, he had spent the rest of the day just looking at her and telling her how magnificent and beautiful she was. He had been so gentle and careful when he touched her, but most of the time, he was contented just looking at her. He did not even consent to leave her side throughout the rest of the day. He was so in love with her. And so she had left Paris for New York with him the very next day.

Back in New York, he had introduced her to all his friends and co-workers. She met his entire family within the first month. His mother thought she was lovely, although her experience with his father was not quite so pleasant. It appeared that his father did not approve of her, and felt that she was far too extravagant for his son. It bothered her a little at first, but since he took little interest in anything his father said, she felt more reassured.

He was a popular and influential man. He held many cocktail parties in his apartment, and she had met the Senator, the Secretary of State and even the Vice-President over a glass of champagne. All of them marvelled at her beauty and praised her lavishly. She always felt beautiful, always at the center of attraction whenever he held one of his parties. In fact, she looked forward to them.

But a year ago, all that changed. She had been shunned to the guest room. He no longer looked at her with love and appreciation. He no longer even noticed her. He had never once entered her room, much less spent any time with her at all. The only person she saw on a regular basis is the maid. Recently, he only returned to their apartment once or twice a week. She suspected that he may have another mistress some place else and is spending more time there.

There were fewer cocktail parties now. The last function they had was 2 months ago, when he threw a birthday party for his seventeen year-old sister. She was not even invited to attend the party. She was only able to enjoy the it from listening to the music, laughter, buzz of conversation and sounds of glasses clinking while she waited quietly in her room. He did not even come in to see her after the party had ended.

It was now evening. She wondered if he would be coming home. She wanted to know him if he still loved her or if there was someone else, but the words just refused to come out. She heard the front door open. She waited, excitedly, for him to come into her room. She heard his familiar footsteps. So often she had listened out for him, only to hear his footsteps lead away from her towards the Master bedroom across the hall. But today, he seemed to be walking closer and closer to her door. She could hear another set of footsteps, it sounded an awful lot like high-heel stilettoes. Good God, was he going to throw her out in favour of another woman?

The door opened. A burst of light entered her unlit room. He fumbled at the light switch, eventually finding it and flicking it on. The room was suddenly flooded with light, blinding her. "You may stay here for the night," she heard him say. "There is an attached bathroom you can use to clean up."

"Thanks bro," she heard his sister say, as she slowly adjusted to the light. She watched as his sister placed a bright pink luggage on the floor next to the bed. His sister turned to look at her. Then she heard his sister say, "Wow it has been a long time since I last saw this painting. I had wondered what you did with it." He turned and looked at her for the first time in one entire year and said, "Well, I bought a new painting, so I relocated this one to the guest room. Anyway, get some sleep. I'll call to tell Mom you're spending the night here. You should probably try to sort out your differences with her tomorrow."

His sister made a face at him and said ,"Whatever." He left the room. His sister washed up, took a shower and went to bed. And she was left hanging on the wall above the bed, wishing she could say goodnight.

How do I go on?

2006-09-22T12:38:00.000+08:00

This was written a few months ago when I had made the decision to walk away from HIM. However, after much soul-searching, I have finally accepted his love, and now everything's working out just wonderfully :D

But reading this again today, I realised how much I actually love this man. I have never written poetry that didn't rhyme before. This is the very first time i just sat there and let my thoughts flow without rhyme or reason. Walking away from him was certainly much harder than I ever anticipated. I ended up walking one huge circle, right back to him.

* * * *

How do I go on
*************
How do I go on without your smile
How do I go on without your kiss
How do I live with this pain in my soul
To remember you and all that you are
I close my eyes and there you are
Your smell, your touch, the softness of your skin
Your gentle lips, your taste, your warmth
Your body against mine, your arms around me
The tenderness in your eyes
The strength in your arms when you hold me close
The way you kiss
The way you laugh just before you bury your head
In the hollow of my neck
How do I go on without you?
How do I go on without your love?
How do I go on without you?

The Frog Prince, the Turtle and the Princess

2006-09-19T16:25:00.000+08:00

If you haven't read the previous parts, please read
http://melooi.blogspot.com/2006/08/princess-and-turtle.html
and
http://melooi.blogspot.com/2006/09/news-update-frog-prince-and-princess.html
before proceeding with this entry.

* * * *
The Frog Prince has had enough! With so many servants, the princess still wanted him to hunt down turtles. She claims that he was better at turtle-hunting and bbq-ing than anyone else. He certainly did not agree with such audacious claims, but there was nothing he could do, for she could scream, shriek and nag like nothing he had ever experienced before.

He could not escape the castle, so he hatched a new plan. Everyday, he went down to the pond where the turtles hid and told them about the beautiful and noble princess. He told all the turtles that the princess was kind, gentle and loving and that it was indeed an honour to be given the opportunity to die for the princess.

The naive turtles began to believe him, and every fortnight when the bonfire was lit, a turtle would gladly sacrifice his life for the princess. After 6 months, the turtles learnt to crawl to the fire themselves and to throw themselves in. Hence, every fortnight, one turtle would jump into the fire for the princess. It would truly believe that it was doing a noble deed for the kind princess.

When the princess found out the deeds of the turtles, she was delighted. She found it extraordinarily amusing that the turtle would so happily die for her pleasure. She dismissed the Frog Prince and told him he was now redundant.

The Frog Prince could not pack his things fast enough. Within the same hour of his dismissal, he left the castle in a great hurry before the princess could change her mind!

(Please stay tuned for more updates on the Frog Prince)

The mice

2006-09-19T15:20:00.000+08:00

The mice were scared and angry. The cats had struck again last week, this time, killing 20 of their clan in 10 minutes. The memory of the blood and gore made it impossible to sleep without waking up every few minutes. This massacre, although not new, was certainly the worse one they had in recent years.

A strong and young mouse called Strand stood up with the rest of his kind and said: "Mice of all sizes and ages, we must unite! We must fight for a better future. We cannot go on like this, being food to the cats. Although our ancestors have lived this way for centuries and although our elders tell us this is the law of nature, I REJECT THIS NOTION! We must progress. If the cats are causing us to live in fear, THEN WE MUST KILL THE CAT!"

All the young mice starting chanting "KILL THE CAT! KILL THE CAT!"

And in the decade that followed, the mice started planning and scheming the many ways to kill cats. 2 years after Strand first suggested killing cats, they learnt to start fires. 2 years after that, they learnt to walk quietly to the cats and light their tails on fire. 2 years after that the mice learnt that gasoline will spread the fire even faster. And 4 years after that all the cats were dead.

The mice rejoiced! Their oppressors were finally gone! And without their natural predators, their population grew and grew and grew. The virile males were mating at fervent speed and in the next year, the population of mice tripled!

Meanwhile, the dogs were getting hungry. With their food source gone, they had suffered a great deal. When there appeared to be more mice, the dogs realised that they need not starve anymore. Here was a new source of food for them! In the same year, they learnt to appreciate the taste of mice and began to gobble them up.

Dogs eat more than cats. MUCH more. And so the number of mice started to dwindle after 2 years of being hunted by dogs. By this time, the mice had suffered so much that they could not hold back their sorrow. It was even worse than in the time of cats, for at least the cats did not hunt in huge packs like the dogs. Massacres of hundreds of mice became a norm, and poor Strand died in heart break.

But another young mouse named Brunt stood up on his hind legs are shouted, "Mice of all age and sizes, we must unite! As we had once rind the cats, NOW WE MUST RID THE DOGS!" All the young mice followed, and stood on their hind legs and shouted, "RID THE DOGS! RID THE DOGS!"

They first tried setting the dogs tails on fire, but they quickly found that it was impossible to do so. Dogs travelled in packs, and it was not possible to quietly light their tails on fire without the rest of the pack killing the attack group. So for the first 2 years, the mice learnt to make nets. The next 2 years, they learnt how to make STRONG nets. And the following 2 years they learnt how to make BIG nets.

Finally they were ready to war with the dogs. They began trapping the dogs using the nets and then setting the whole pack on fire using gasoline. After 4 years, there were no more dogs left.

Once again the mice rejoiced! They were rid of their oppressors! They can now like free and do anything they want! That year, the males were so elated that they mated more fervently than ever before. The population of mice increased tenfold.

However, the lions who were feeding on the dogs began to starve. With the dogs slowly disappearing into extinction, they had nothing much to eat and had suffered tremendously that year. They just could not live on grass and grain. When the massive crowd of mice began to run about the fields to play, the hungry lions could not help themselves but devour all the mice they saw.

Lions eat more than dogs. MUCH more. And so once again, the population of mice decreased rapidly. Massacres of thousands at a time became a normal occurence. The living conditions for the mice were worse than when they were hunted by dogs. Poor Brunt lived to see all that was happening and died in misery and regret.

But no fear, Trevor is here! Trevor, a muscular and bright young mouse gathered what was left of the mice and told them, "This is a horrible way to live. If we are to die to lions, let us die with pride! Let us bring them down as we die! LET US SLAY THE LIONS!"

And so the new war cry of the mice became "SLAY THE LIONS! SLAY THE LIONS". Trevor divided the group of mice to 2 - the research team and the kamekaze squad. The kamekaze squad were trained to creep quietly up to the lions, while the research team began to study microorganisms. And 2 years quickly passed this way.

The next 2 years, the research team learn to cultivate poisonous bacteria while the kamekaze squad studied religion and psychology to prep themselves for their task ahead. The research team then injected the bacteria to the mice in the kamekaze squad, who then crept up to the lions to be devoured.

The lions who devoured the infected bacteria began to die. It was a slow death, but an effective one. In the next 10 years, the number of lions reduced by tenfold and after the following decade there were no more lions left.

The mice, who had been suffering for over 20 years at the paws of the lions finally saw the last lion die. Their numbers had been reduced to only 200 mice at the end of their ordeal. But without the lions hunting them down, they could finally live in peace again.

The happy mice mated and mated and mated, ate and ate and ate and once again thousands of mice walked the land. They were free to do whatever they wanted!!! How great it was! When Trevor finally died, he died a very happy mouse, knowing that he had done his fellow mice a great favour.

However, one day after 50 years of freedom, the young mice started to report of new massacres. Humans, who had lived for 50 years without eating meat were now hungry for the taste of animal meat. They had learnt to enjoy eating barbequed mice and now, mice hunting was a sport.

Humans ate more than lions. MUCH more. Especially the young growing males. Massacres of TENS of THOUSANDS of mice became a normal occurence. A young mouse named Henry shouted for unity among the mice. He organized a meeting and told the mice, "Mice of all age and sizes, we need to unite! We are once again under oppresion. We must stand united and SLAUGHTER THE HUMANS!"

All the other young mice began shouting, "SLAUGHTER THE HUMANS! SLAUGHTER THE HUMANS!" when suddenly they were all trapped! Humans had hunted them down to their meeting place and all of them, including Henry, became hamburgers that day.

And so after 10 years, there were no more mice left.

If only they had learnt to live with the cats.....

My Master's Graduation

2006-09-17T21:45:00.000+08:00

Finally graduated from my second degree!

When I am dead...

2006-09-12T11:03:00.000+08:00

I had a dream a few weeks ago. I dreamt i died.

I was walking amidst my love ones, and they could not see me. I was looking for Ye Chow, but I couldn't find him anywhere. I wanted to say goodbye.

I saw my cousin. And strangely enough, even though no one else could see me, he could. He was not afraid of me. Instead, he talked to me for a while in a rectangular garden. Finally, Ye Chow came and I managed to see him. I went to him and he could also see me. We were sad, and we said our goodbyes but my cousin stopped me from leaving. He said to me, "Since you and Ye Chow can still see each other and speak to each other, why don't you stay on Earth with him until it is time for him to go? That way you can always be together and you don't have to wait."

I then told my cousin:

"Time is an illusion that only exists in this Earth.

I turned to Ye Chow and said:

"I will wait for you. When it is your time, I will be there. You will know it is me when you see me."

Somehow, in my mind, I knew that I would not have the same form. Yet whatever form I would take, I knew that he would recognize me when we meet even thought we will look nothing like what we do now. Time is neither long nor short, fast nor slow. It is just a boundary that will no longer exist when we are no longer bounded to this earth.

After that, I said goodbye and faded into the light.

I woke up some time later.

It was indeed a very strange dream.

* * * *

I had another strange dream a couple of nights after that. I dream Ye Chow died.

I dreamt that I was now with another man, my ex, and we were getting married (in my case, I was re-marrying). His parents and brother questioned me, and was wondering if I was ready to move on. His brother's words went something like this: "What if you still love Ye Chow and can't let go?"

I said to them:

"There is nothing to let go. He may be gone, but he lives in me. Not in memory, not in my heart, but in me. I am who I am, because of who he was. The person you see before you today is a consequence of the person Ye Chow was. He speaks in my voice when I am speaking, and I see him in myself in everyday situations. You do not let go of love and memories in order to move on. If you try, you will always be running around with your shadow chasing you, never really letting go of the past and never really moving on. Instead, I accept it, and allow it to be absorbed into my life. And then I move on.

I will always love him, even though I am with someone else. I don't see the conflict. For whoever who loves me today, indirectly loves him. And whoever I can love, is indirectly the person Ye Chow would also be able to love. The idea of "Two" does not exist anymore. He has already left this world. Why do you subject him to the same rules and boundaries as those of us who are still living on this Earth? It no longer applies to him."

* * * *

For some strange reason, this thought stayed with me until I woke up. And for some strange reason, it was like logic to me, or it seemed like I was merely stating facts when I was speaking to others in my dreams. The "facts" of the two above dreams stayed in my mind for a long time after. I have not have dreams since then.

To reach the star

2006-09-08T17:02:00.000+08:00

This post was taken and modified from my friend's blog. I found his reflection so profound and touching that I just had to re-port it. Enjoy.
*******************************

Last night I had a vision. I saw Mars in the sky with the constellations.

To an uninitiated caveman, the Mars is indeed very close to the rest of the stars in the clear night sky. So....high up. But the truth is (still is at the time of publishing) that the Earth is closer to that planet (Mars). We are so close to the it until we cannot recognize it and give it a different name.

High and low, far and near are all trickeries of restless mind. The more restless the mind, the more differentiation it sees from the world. Therefore I believe that the heaven is a very flat place. The heavenly ground is paved by unbreakable crystals with infinite smoothness. The roads in the heaven are all broad and straight. No pretense and all very accommodating. I want to go on to plant six kind of trees and flowers by the road side so that birds can sing on it, but I need to get back to work ...........

...........may be next time.

News Update: The Frog Prince and the Princess

2006-09-05T09:37:00.000+08:00

It had 2 years since that fateful kiss that transformed the frog prince into a man. It should have been a joyous occasion. Yet for the past two years, he had been nothing more than a manservant who had to hunt for turtles every morning and barbequed them every noon for the Princess’s lunch. Many a time he had wanted to run away, or even to look for the witch who had first turned him into a frog so that he could return to the life of a care-free frog. Yet he was still there, in that castle, with the turtle-loving Princess.

Yes, he was pretty much stuck there. There were guards and soldiers everywhere, all over the castle and its compound. There was no escape at all. He had no choice but to continue being the Frog Prince and Turtle Killer.

Perhaps he could try persuading the Princess to stop eating turtles…

(Stay tuned for more updates on the Frog Prince)

Hoaxes

2006-09-01T14:21:00.000+08:00

Ok, I have received this "spreading of HIV through needles left on cinema seats and gas pumps" on numerous occasions from well-meaning friends who forwarded emails such as this to me.

THIS IS A HOAX. Repeat: THIS IS A HOAX!

1. There really only one report of someone getting pricked by a needle. It was from the coin slot at the pay-phone. BUT the needle was used for INSULIN injections.

2. If you happen to be pricked by a needle that had been contaminated by HIV-positive blood, the chances of you contracting it is 0.3 - 0.45%. It isn't even 0.5%. UNLESS the needle was poked all the way into your major artery or vein, it will stay as below 0.5%. So the statistics that they gave you in the emails (8 of 17 ppl contracted the disease) is highly inaccurate.

3. Someone pricking you with a needle on your neck while you watch a movie is still highly unlikely to spread the disease to you. Unless of course, he is spreading Hepatitis (which is much easier to contract than HIV). I doubt you are stupid enough to sit there and let the person penetrate the needle into your vein. Most likely the moment it penetrates the first layer of your skin, you would yelp and beat the crap out of the person. REMEMBER - less than 0.5% chance!

So if you get pricked by a random needle, go see a doctor. If you are scared that you may get HIV, ask them to put you on zidovudine (AZT) or lamivudine (3TC), which will lower the chance of you getting HIV by 79% more.

LET's calculate!
The chance of you being stupid enough to continue poking the needle through the first layer of your skin (where your nerves are, so you will feel pain from the prick instantly) all the way into your major vein or artery is zero (I assume you are all smart ppl). So the chances of you getting HIV from a pin-prick (after which I assume you will go ask your doctor for AZT) is 21%(after AZT) out of 0.5% (pin-prick), which is 0.105%.

I also keep getting this email:
Someone wearing contacts in the sauna had his/her contact lense melt in the eyes and was blinded. Also someone cooking over the stove had his/her contact lens melt due to the steam. And went blind.

HOAX HOAX HOAX. The melting point of the plastic used to make your contact lenses isn't that low. If it can melt in your eyes, chances are the temperature is so high that your own skin would have already disintegrated and you would be on your way to heaven.

Still don't believe me? With intense heat, your eyes would naturally close and your hands would likely cover your face. In order for your contacts to melt, the temperature has to be high enough to meet the melting point of the lens. This temperature is enough to disintegrate the skin of your eyelids. So it is unlikely that the person was perfectly fine, but went blind because the contacts melted. His WHOLE FACE would be gone also. At that point, he might rather be blind than to have to look into the mirror.

So the chance of your contacts melting in your eyes = ZERO (assuming you have nerves that are functioning - if they aren't you have a bigger problem than melting contact lenses....)

The most beautiful flower in the world - PART 5

2006-08-30T09:42:00.000+08:00

She was now almost at the village gates. She could hear the voices of the villagers coming from a distance. Everyone was waiting for her. The young girl despaired. What was she going to tell them? What would her mother say? Should she tell them about the dead flower? Would she have to shave her hair off when she got to the convent?

The horror of having to shave off her long black hair made her stop in her tracks. Suddenly she felt short of breath. Her head began to pound as she slumped down at the side of the village gates, wondering what to do. It was then that she noticed it.

Something was stuck to the bottom of her shoe. She took her shoe off for the first time in 3 days. And there, at the bottom of her shoe was a tiny, discreet flower that was ivory in colour. Now she understood why her shoe had felt so uneven throughout the entire journey. She had thought it was odd that her shoes felt uncomfortable, and had dismissed it as just slightly torn when she first started hiking up the mountain. Now it is clear that it wasn’t because her shoe was spoilt; it was because there was something stuck to the bottom of her shoe! And although she had trekked all over the mountain, climbed a cliff, swam in the waterfall and walked all the way back to the village, the flower had not died. It was still very much alive, a resilient little thing, and it still emitted the strange fragrance of its own. It smelt very much like the air after a heavy rainfall. She put it closer to her nose and smelt it again. It was indeed a very special fragrance.

She took a closer look at the flower. It looked very normal; it was just a very simple flower with a pale yellow center and tiny ivory petals. Yet it managed to stay alive throughout all the stomping, throughout all the rock climbing and throughout all the water diving. Its resilience for life touched the young girl’s heart.

She carefully carried the flower in her hand and took it into the village. This was a flower, surely, that could save her from life in the Convent. As she approached the villagers, they were excited. The most excited one was her mother, whose voice can be heard from all ends of the village. When she showed them the little ivory flower, the villagers could not believe that any girl would bring back something so simple, particularly this young girl for she was strong, intelligent and beautiful. Her mother could not hide her disappointment, and stopped talking to the girl at all. The only person who was accepting of her choice was her father. But she was saved, she did not have to go to the convent, and that was enough for her. She planted her little flower alongside her mother’s daisies and tended to it earnestly.

In the months that followed, the weather became very dry. Summer that year was a harsh one, all the rivers and lakes dried up and many plants died. The men could no longer work in the fields for their crops were either dead or dying. They could survive only through the sale of their livestock.

All the flowers in the village, and the nearby villages, slowly began to wither and die. All except one.

The young girl’s flower bush remained well and alive despite the lack of water. In fact, it continued flowering through the driest of months. It still emitted the fragrance of the air after rainfall. The fragrance became more and more seductive as the land dried up and the skies remained cloudless. Many people flocked to her village from all parts of the kingdom to buy her flowers. She sold some, and gave many more away, for she wanted to make everyone happy and hopeful for rain. Her village soon became known as the Village of Hope.

Eventually the rain did fall and after many more months, flowers grew again. But because all the flowers in the kingdom had died during the dry spell, the flower-hunting and cultivating tradition had to be stopped. Women were since allowed to make money doing other chores, such as selling handicraft or catering and some even opened bakeries. They had no more time to tend to flowers.

But the young girl continued to take care of her flowers. Her flowers were planted all over the Village of Hope and she tended to every one of the flower bushes.

As days turn to years and she became old, she would tell her grandchildren that she had once come so close to becoming a princess and showing off the most beautiful flower in the world that she got from the bottom of the lake. She told them of the beautiful petals and sweet fragrance of the flower.

And then she would go on to show them the flowers in her garden. She gently spoke to them:

“This may not be the most beautiful flower in the world. But beauty will fade and die away, and a sweet fragrance is just like another perfume you can buy off the street. This flower, on the other hand, will go through the hardest of times with you, and emits the smell of life even during the harshest of seasons. When you grow up in future, remember these words and you will be find all the happiness in your lives.”

THE END.

The most beautiful flower in the world - PART 4

2006-08-30T09:39:00.000+08:00

It was now nearly 3 in the afternoon. The young girl had just rested for 20 minutes. ‘I will try again’, she thought, ‘and if I fail, I will return with the orchid’. She took the deepest breath she could possibly take and dove, straight as a bullet, into the center of the lake. As her eyes fixed on the flower at the bottom, she began kicking her legs fiercely, propelling her body towards the plant. Her lungs began to hurt, but she had just only passed the halfway mark. She pushed further and her lungs hurt even more. ‘Just a little bit more, just a little bit more’ she told herself repeatedly.

‘Just a little bit more…’ as her hand reached out for the flower. She was now very dizzy, and her lungs felt as though they were on fire. Her chest felt like it was exploding!

‘Just a little…..’ and she passed out. Her body slowly floated to the surface.

Lucky for her, she was faced up when she reached the surface. She had floated there for almost an hour before she regained consciousness.

“Oh my God!” she exclaimed, “I have to get back to the village!”

She swam to the bank of the waterfall. She climbed up the bank and instantly remembered the flower at the bottom of the lake. Feeling sad that she had failed, she looked back sadly at the lake.

At the other end of the lake, a red flower floated. It wasn’t…..it was…IT WAS the flower! She had succeeded in pulling the flower up! Even though she had passed out and almost drowned in the process she did manage to get the flower in the end!!! Shaking with excitement, the young girl dove back into the lake and swam unsteadily towards the flower. When she finally reached the flower, she took a long look at it. It was indeed red, with light spots of rosy pink. It was a large flower, almost as large as her arm’s length and smelt as sweet as the first day of spring. What a beauty!

She swam back to her bag and replaced the orchid with the new flower. She was so happy that she ran all the way back to her village! All the way back, she could not stop envisioning the villagers’ expressions when they saw her flower. She started to wonder which of the princes would marry her. She would be a princess! Would her dress be satin? Would it be silk? And she would carry a beautiful scepter made of gold, diamonds and gems! Her life would never be empty again!!

She was almost at her village when she felt the urge to look at her flower again. When she opened her bag, her eyes became very large and her jaw dropped. The beautiful flower was no longer red! Once bright red petals were now brown, and the sweet smell it emitted was now the smell of rotten eggs! What had happened?

Minutes passed by as the sun began to set. The young girl just sat staring at the once-beautiful flower. She had already thrown away the orchid. The beautiful flower from the bottom of the lake was dead. She was now flowerless. Even if she were to find another flower from just anywhere, she would not make it back to the village in time. The rancid smell of the flower filled the air. It was hard for her to imagine how a sweet smell could turn into something so awful in just moments after its death. Although it was the most beautiful flower when it was alive, it was certainly one of the ugliest when dead. And it died so easily too!

She slowly got to her feet and picked up her empty bag. Dejected, she slowly made her way back to the village and acceptance of her future life in the convent and the Sisterhood began slowly seeping into her heart.

(To be continued…)

The most beautiful flower in the world - PART 3

2006-08-30T09:37:00.000+08:00

The young girl spent the first two days searching for the most beautiful flower in the world. She worked very hard, climbing into the hard to reach places.

On Sunday evening, she cut herself very badly against the rocks of a cliff to get to a small landing in the middle of the cliff itself. There she found a very lovely and rare orchid that she knew was worth even more than the peach-coloured rose bush. She happily dug out the orchid plant and put it carefully into her bag. But she did not return to the village yet.

‘Wait’, she thought to herself, ‘I still have time. I may just find the most beautiful flower in the world if I work a little harder’.

So she made her way down the cliff and spent the night sleeping on a branch of a tree. Early the next morning, she woke up and ate a little bread to replenish her strength. She explored more of the land without finding anything new that could match the orchid she currently had inside her bag. As day became noon, she chanced upon a waterfall. She jumped in, happy to bathe and cool off from all her efforts hunting. As she swam to the middle of the waterfall, she could barely make out an outline of a flower at the bottom of the lake. It looked like an unknown species of flower.

‘Wow, that looks even more rare than my orchid!’ She thought excitedly. She took a deep breath, held it and dove into the lake. But she was not even halfway down when she ran short of breath and had to return to the surface. The lake was much deeper than she expected! Undaunted, she tried again, and this time she managed to go a little deeper. But she was still very far from the flower when she had to return to the surface again.

Again and again, the young girl tried. Each time she got a little closer, but each time she was more tired. She had to rest longer in between her tries to catch her breath. After 4 hours of diving, she finally gave up and walked away. But she could not stop thinking about the flower, for as she had drawn closer to the flower, she could see that the flower was indeed very beautiful. It was red in colour, and was about an arm’s length. It COULD just be the flower her mother had told her about. It could actually be the most beautiful flower in the world!!!

She ran back to the waterfall. ‘I will try again and again until I get that flower, even if I have to drown in the process!’ She thought persistently. And so she spent the entire evening and night diving for the flower.

Tuesday morning came, and she was still trying. She had not slept all night, but she did not want to stop. She knew she had to start making her way home soon, or she might not make it back in time. Her mother would be very disappointed in her if she finally would have to join the convent and the Sisterhood.

(To be continued…)

Posting up my picture for profile...

2006-08-29T08:13:00.000+08:00

Yeah I am dumb..no idea how to post up a picture for my profile, so this step was recommended by blogger...haha....

Little pink kitty ears here! I LOVE PINK!!!

The most beautiful flower in the world - PART 2

2006-08-28T13:11:00.000+08:00

For as long as she could remember, the little girl’s mother had always told her to find a better flower bush than the one that was currently growing outside their front yard. Her mother had found a fairly common species of daisy. Even though the daisies she sold every morning brought quite a respectable sum of money, she was still unhappy. She spent most of her life wistfully wishing she had more time to find something better. “Perhaps I should have gone North of the village, or perhaps hike up the mountain”, she would say.

The strange thing was that the little girl’s father would take care of most of the household expenditure despite it being the woman’s responsibility. He neither smoked tobacco, nor drank at the taverns hence he always had extra silver to bring home unlike most other men in the village who like to spend everything they earn from working in the fields on getting themselves ridiculously drunk at night. The little girl’s mother would always have enough for new clothes and accessories. Yet in comparison with her best friend, she had little, for her best friend had very fortunately found a rare peach-coloured rose bush that fetched quite a tidy sum of money every week.

Anyhow, the girl’s mother got more and more excited as the time for her daughter to venture out for three days in search of a flower drew closer. She seemed to think that her daughter’s success in finding a flower would mean that she would get more spending money. The young girl felt a lot of pressure and anxiety and fear that she may not be able to find something that would please her mother.

Again and again, her mother told her how capable she was at finding the most beautiful flower in the world. “I have such high hopes for you”, her mother told her everyday. “You will be the first village girl to become a princess!”

On a bright Sunday morning, the village celebrated her venturing out. She was to return before the sun went down on Tuesday. In her bag, she had packed some bread and drinking water. The young girl said her goodbyes and turned to walk away. As she left her village, she could her mother cry out, “Go to the mountains! Get the most beautiful flower in the world!! Make me proud!”

And so up the mountain she went.
(To be continued…)

Reflections

2006-08-28T13:09:00.001+08:00

Reflections on the past always reveal who we are. When we reflect, we somehow have a tendency of looking back on the bad stuff in our lives and highlighting them. I have heard so many complaints from friends throughout my life. They tell me about their families, the lack of love they were receiving, the lack of understanding and bond, as well as comments on how their siblings were better loved and cared for. The eldest child always felt as if they were picked upon, they had more responsibilities and their younger siblisngs are spoilt and more loved. The middle child always felt neglected. And the youngest child always felt judged, or that they had to measure up or was looked down upon.

All the above are very trivial when you look back on it. We always swear that we would never inflict what had happened to us on our children. We always think we would be better parents. Yet I feel a sense of deep compassion and sympathy for such thoughts, for if we have such a reflection, we had not grown from our experiences.

We reflect and feel sad and lonely for all the pain we went through. But we have reflected on the wrong things. We only perceived how others made us feel. If we look deeper, there is something in us that causes the pain, anger, sadness and utter loneliness. It is our inabilities, our fallicies as selfish humans. Yes, it is selfishness. It is the need to put ourselves the centre of our universe whether or not we realise it. We feel neglected because we expect to get loving attention. We hurt because we expect to have equal or better treatment than our siblings. We are angry because our expectations are not met, or exceeded.

Nothing is free. A wise man once said that there is no such thing as a free lunch. When you get more attention and coddling, chances are you also get less freedom because you always have attention on you. You want to break free of your siblings' shadows but it is never easy. When you are given more responsibilties and forced to grow up faster, you may get less attention and coddling. But what you get in return is trust, freedom to make decisions and freedom to find yourselves. Yet we want it all. We want freedom and we want attention. We want love and trust, but we also want to push our parents and families away when it suits us to do so.

Sound familiar? Not true, we argue. We had it worse, no one understands what we went through. Perhaps no one understands. Perhaps it is because we were not starving to death, a victim of abuse or dying of a disease that no one is paying any attention, or sympathy or coming up with a cure for the void we feel in our lives. But there IS a cure.

Prayer. My strongest prayer, I feel, is when I run out of words. I just sit there and feel. I feel the world around me, I hear the world around me and with my eyes shut, I know the world around me also. If i concentrate hard enough, I begin to feel the emotions of the world around me. So much eagerness. So many people searching for something. So much sadness. Yet I feel the thoroughness of God and His compassion. When I pray with peace in my heart, I am closer to Him than all the times I pray with a sense of urgency in my heart. It is those times I let go of myself.

Those times, I understand why we need to praise God. It isn't about asking God for kindness and blessings. It isn't even about telling God about pain or happiness, greatness and smallness. It is about remembering how small, how little, and how humble we are. It is about realising how mighty, large and absolute God is. As I am overwhelmed by the "Bigness" of God, and I realise that all this pain and sadness means nothing. It is not about me. When I let go of Self, I let go of the pain. When I let go of my importance to myself, I let go of the anger inside of me. I am unimportant. I am humbled.

There is no more need to prove myself. No more need to compare with others. There is no more need to be loved "more". There is no more need for career success, branded shoes or bags, designer clothes and expensive cars to show one's self-worth. There is no more pain.

All that exists in the path of happiness and fulfillment is to be. To simply just be. That is all. I do hope you can understand the meaning of these words

The most beautiful flower in the world - PART1

2006-08-28T13:09:00.000+08:00

Since she was five, her mother had told her the story of the most beautiful flower in the world. It is a big flower, of about an arm’s length. It has petals of a lovely shade of red that faded slowly into a rosy pink colour at the tips. It fills the air with a strong sweet smell and was a precious, rare flower that many would sought after. If you find one, you can sell it for 3 sacks of gold!

Find the flower, her mother always told her, and you will be happy for the rest of your life.

In fact, the flower is so rare, so exquisite and so beautiful that if you found one, you could present it to the castle and may actually be accepted by one of the princes! What a wonderful fairytale ending it would be for a young village girl to become a princess!!

The little girl grew up looking forward to the day she would be old enough to go hunting for her very own flower. ‘I would be a princess someday’, she thought.

Now it is the tradition in their village (and the all the nearby villages in the kingdom) that after a certain age, young girls must venture out for a maximum period of three days and find one flower to bring home and plant in their front yard. It was said to signify the coming of age. After the flower had been planted, the girl would be ready for marriage. The flowers that would henceforth bloom from the original plant can be sold in markets and the money would be the girl’s spending money. Women were not allowed to ask their husbands for any additional money for household expenditure!

If the girl was not home after a period of three days, when she returned she was to report to the nearest convent and become a nun. Her life would be a life of charity and penance. Although there are some girls who would voluntarily enter the convent, there was always shortage of nuns to do charitable works such as feeding the hungry and providing shelter to the homeless. Without the girls who could not meet the flower-hunting dateline, the convent’s Sisterhood would be in grave danger of extinction. The Sisterhood is an important part of their society as they are viewed upon as the life support of the kingdom, especially during times of war, draught and floods.

This flower-hunting and cultivation tradition is said to be aimed at grooming young girls to be responsible adults since they had to take care of the flowers in their front yard for the rest of their lives. If the flower-plant should die, the woman would be destitute and her husband had a right to divorce her (since she would no longer be able to care for the household expenditures).

(To be continued…)

Karma...

2006-08-28T13:08:00.000+08:00

Karma. Is it real?

We have been bombarded with so many movies on karma, that it has become some sort of a storyline. It barely seems real. Yet recently, I experienced something so profound and so real, that I begin to marvel at the awesome power of God. If you have the time, do read the following story :)

Someone I know (lets call them Mr. and Mrs. A) runs a business of managing an old folk's home in Australia. Since the home is partly owned by the government, they get loads of government subsidy. Now, the old folks who go there put around $200,000 as a guaruntee, on top of their payment to the home. When they die, the money is supposed to be paid to their family members. What Mr and Mrs A do is to keep the money and not return it after the death of the old folks in their care. When family members request for the money, they get hostile, put a lot of paperwork between them and the money and generally make it hell for anyone to get the money back.

They then take the money and spend it on their own. In recent years, they got so greedy that they started to water down the milk and juices. They buy cars and bill it to the company. They never spend a cent on household items. Instead, they bill everything to the company. As a result, they have become filthy rich. WHen they left Malaysia, they had practically nothing. Now they are multi-millionaires.

But are they happy?

Mrs. A spent a lot of money buying her doctor son an apartment in the heart of Melbourne, and a BMW 3 series. Her younger son got jealous, so she bought him an apartment as well, and a BMW Z3. Now her elder doctor son is very jealous as he felt he "suffered" more than his brother but his brother has a better apartment and car. Mr. A is forever suspicious of people cheating him and goes hysterical every time he finds a little money missing. He once caused an uproar in a bank because they charged him $2.00 for service.

Mr. A beats his wife regularly. He has a problem with anger and abuse. His sons suffer from depression and abusiveness. His doctor son has a massive self-esteem problem, and always seems to point out that he is a doctor, he drives a BMW and owns an apartment to prove that he is a wonderful man. He can't seem to ever admit his mistakes and for that reason, he has become some sort of a loner who is suspicious of everyone he meets in his life.

Why has this happened?

I experience this huge wave of pity and compassion for them. Upon learning to cheat and fraud, they have become money-obsessed. Yet all the money in the world cannot satisfy them. They are suspicious of everyone, they are envious of each other and they are such angry people without even realising why. Handling too much money became such a temptation that they couldn't keep their hands off it. Yet by yielding to temptation, their sadness increased day by day.

That money was really cursed. It was cursed from the beginning not because of some "ghost" haunting them. It was cursed the moment their characters became moulded into one with it. Perhaps prior to that, they already had a "seed" in them, a seed of greed and envy just like the rest of us. But they were put in an environment where that seed had a chance to grow, and now it has taken over their lives and their sons lives as well. And maybe even their future grandchildren's lives. So much sadness, tension and anger propagate from parent to child and I despair that they will ever find happiness. For they define happiness in terms of wealth, status, the clothes they wear, the car they drive, the place they stay in, the jobs they are working, and the life that they lead.

Karma. This is what it is. They say bad things happen when you do evil. SOme say God is unfair, for those who cheat and lie seem to do a lot better than honest folks. But we are only looking at the surface. For on the surface, Mr and Mrs A look so wonderful, they stay in a big house, drive a big car, have successful sons who also stay in big apartments and drive big cars. They are always smiling, they dress well, they have vacation homes in countrysides. But under all that "happiness" they are suspicious, angry and insecure. Imagine not being able to trust anyone. Imagine always feeling so angry that your partner isn't living up to your expectations. Imagine always feeling frustrated that you are not driving an even better car and staying in an even bigger house. Imagine meeting just about anyone and thinking "this person is playing tricks and mind games" or "this person is attacking me". That is really Hell on Earth.

The Snapping Turtle

2006-08-28T13:03:00.000+08:00

It was an exceedingly warm afternoon. We sat quietly in our small canoe, hoping to reach our destination soon. Two days ago, some natives informed our camp about the sighting of an old temple just down the river. What they forgot to tell us, was that the river is about 20 kilometres long, and gets rather treacherous to travel on at the halfway mark.

Nevertheless, here we were sitting quietly in a tiny canoe that nicely fits 5 including me, Edwin (our archeological expert), and a native guide. Full marks to those who managed to guess who was rowing the canoe...Anyway, we managed to bypass the rough waters by trekking through 15 kilometres of swampland. It was awful and camping there during the night left us all exhausted, but at least we're alive, which is more than one can say against the rough river waters. Again, no surprises as to which poor soul was left dragging the canoe throughout the entire swampland adventure. It remains a mystery as to how the native is still strong enough to propel our canoe towards our final destination.

1 hour down, and we finally arrived at the above-mentioned temple. We were extremely disappointed to find that it was probably built 30 years ago judging by its condition, design and the fact that it had a fan and a power generator. Behind the temple was a hill, whereby some kind fellow had carved out steps on the ground to make some sort of a stairway to the hilltop. We collectively groaned when we saw that on the other side of the hill, there were gravel roads, which meant that we could have simply driven here from our camp!

Nevertheless, Edwin decided to make the best of our situation and climbed into a pond directy front of the temple. He was splashing himself to cool off, when we spotted a very tiny, green something sitting on a nearby rock next to where Edwin was splashing about. It soon became apparent that the green thing was actually a really small turtle (also known as a terrapin since it is obviously a fresh-water turtle). The species of this turtle is unknown to me, as it is nothing like any turtle I have ever laid my tired eyes on. It had a small longish but flat shell and its head protruded from its shell by almost the length of the shell itself. It seemed to be rather agitated at our close scrutiny.

Rather than retreating into its shell (which is what most turtles would have probably done), it poked his head further out and started snapping at me. I started back in shock! The turtle was actually snapping. It snapped at me again even though Edwin was closest to it (I don't know why, but I suspect it may have something to do with it being blinded by Edwin's pink shirt), and this time, we could see its sharp teeth rather clearly. A moment later, the tiny thing literally charged at me, swimming very fast across the pond and running towards me. I had NEVER seen a turtle that snaps, let alone one that has sharp teeth. And until this tiny thing came along, I was always under the impression that turtles move rather slowly on land.

This thing was running at me. I dropped my bags and ran for the hills. It was only after I had climbed half of the man-made steps up the hill that I dared to turn around and scout for the location of the turtle. Apparently the turtle had given up chase the moment we reached the foot of the hill and had headed back to the water. I couldn't really see much from where I was, but I had a feeling my companions may have captured it as it appears to be a rather significant discovery.

The Princess and the Turtle

2006-08-28T13:00:00.000+08:00

Most ppl have heard of the Princess and the Frog story. Bot how many have heard of the Princess and the Turtle? This story is actually the original story, which occurred before the Princess and the Frog story came about.

One day, the Princess was taking a walk in her garden. After a while, she came across a huge bon fire (bear in mind that in those days, the only way to get rid of rubbish was to incinerate it, hence the bon fire in the garden). She was fascinated by it, and decided to take a closer look. But along her path was a turtle, walking very very slowly towards the pond, which incidently was on the same direction as the bon fire. The Princess did not desire to dirty her long skirts by walking on the grass, hence she was reduced to walking at snail's pace behind the turtle.

After a short while, the Princess got very impatient. She found it ridiculous that she, a royalty, was delayed by a lowly turtle. In a fit of anger, she gave the turtle one hard kick, to which the poor turtle found himself in a very unnatural position in the air. Flying. Towards to blazing flames of the bon fire.

The Princess felt rather pleased, now that the path is open to her. She skipped happily towards to fire, just in time to see the turtle roast. The aroma of a roasting turtle was so mouth-watering that it sparked her curiousity. She picked up a long stick and tossed the roasted turtle out of the fire. And had it for breakfast. It was good. So good that she wanted more.

Hence she headed to to Castle pond, where she hoped to find more turtles. There she found a frog instead. Now I am sure u have heard of the Princess and Frog story, but what you need to realise is that there is no where in Heaven, Hell and on Earth will you find ANY girl (much less a Princess) who would kiss a damn frog, even if the damn frog can talk. The only reason why her lips touched that frog was because she couldn't find any turtles, only that damn talking frog. She wanted to taste and see if the frog would be as delicious as the turtle, but to her horror, it turned into a Prince.

The Princess lived happily ever after. TheFrog Prince had to learn how to cook, and serve good breakfasts to the Princess for the rest of his life! (He started to wonder why he wanted to become human in the first place, life was much better and more carefree as a frog!)